#justkeepgoing101202

[recoveryisbeautiful]

Hi i saw you post that you got your period back in a way that wasn't considered healthy? If you don't mind me asking...how? If you dont want to answer- thats totally fine. I understand it's a personal question! I hope you feel better :)

I don’t mind personal questions at all.

It was sort of forced on me. I had gotten to a healthy weight but rather than waiting for my body to naturally get my period back on it’s own, this dumbass fucking gynecologist was like, “no you have to get it back before you leave for college”.

Anyway, she gave me a high dose of some like really intense hormones. A pill a day for 7 days and BAM!! Period. 

The hormones have a lot of side effects and are rarely used anymore. When they are it’s in extremely low doses because the side effects can be so severe.

So anyway, ever since then when I get my period, I basically am unable to function. I used to have a really light, 4 day period.

Now I get the most intense cramps, back pain so bad I can’t move, all that kind of fun physical stuff. My mom has actually had to give me muscle relaxers for the pain.

I also pass out. I’ve actually scared medical professionals because I just faint or I come really close to it on the first day of my period. It’s usually worse about every 3 months or so. Even the times where I don’t pass out, I get extra dizzy (dizziness is like a permanent thing for me) and it’s just ridiculous. My mood also used to be okay during my period but now I often get suicidal or am more likely to hurt myself.

[another-one-another-you]

11 QUESTIONS TAG

Rule 1: Post the rules

Rule 2: Answer the 11 questions and then make 11 of your own (:

Rule 3: Tag 11 people and link them to the post

I was tagged by ivory-thea Thank you! 

1) What’s your favorite video game? Pokemon!! :P

2) Do you prefer new or old books? new

3) Small dogs or big dogs?  small

4) Are you closer to being an introvert or extrovert?  introvert 

5) What’s the best pun you’ve ever heard?  hmm wow , can't remember :P

6) Cold or warm?  cold

7) Do you have/ want any tattoos?  i wan't a little quote or phrase on my wrist.

8) What do you prefer, horror or comedy? comedy

9) cake or cookies? cookies

10) Do you have any hidden talents? hmm i'm good with languages 

11) Salty or sweet? Salty 

My Questions

what's your fav color?

have you ever been drunk?

what do you like on your pizza?

more logical or creative type?

do you read books?

what's your fav movie?

what kind of music do you like?

ever been in love?

long hair or short air which do you prefer??

dogs or cats?

single?

I’m tagging:

http://naaadiiine.tumblr.com/

http://justkeepgoing101202.tumblr.com/

http://camphalftribute.tumblr.com/

http://rockarollaaaa.tumblr.com/

http://spookydany.tumblr.com/

http://kiflice.tumblr.com/

http://peterhale.tumblr.com/

http://bemytwinagain.tumblr.com/

http://assassinkyra.tumblr.com/

http://amylunare.tumblr.com/

http://sick-of-this-space.tumblr.com/

[glittertimes]

Rules - Answer the questions of the person who tagged you and write 11 new ones. - Tag 11 new people and link them to the post. - Let them know you tagged them. 1. What is your favorite color? Navy Blue! 

2. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I see myself as helping people ( i wanna be a therapist and I'm thinking about joining the Peace Corps)

3. Favorite songs right now? I listened to Me by the 1975 like 20 times yesterday and I really love Stay Awake by All Time Low

4. Description of your best friend(s)? Smart, Caring, Helpful, Lovely, 

5. What would you do if you won the lottery? I’d give some to charity and go to Brazil (I've always wanted to go there)

6. Most embarrassing moment? too many totalk about :P

7. Story of your first kiss? It was a at a party and they were playing this game to see who could kiss the most people

8. Favorite season? Spring

9. Best childhood memory? I liked sitting in my older sister's room just listening to her music

10. If you could live anywhere in the world where and why? I've always wanted to live in Brazil. 

11. Something interesting about yourself? i play the ukulele

My questions: 1) What is one thing you like about yourself? My creativity

2) Favorite book(s)? Anything by John Green, Everyday by DavidLevithan, Stargirl by jerry spinelli, and the diary of Anne Frank 

3) Who is the one person you can go to for anything? I don't really have one..

4) Favorite song? 68 by The Ready Set got me through 6th grade

5) Do you like it where you live? Why or why not? Well, I live in Southern California. Nice weather, lot of things to see. But i kinda feel trapped here and I can't really talk to anyone and I've wanted to leave since elementary school.

6) What do you like to do? I like drawing, writing, reading, playing the ukulele, playing the piano, and tumblr!

7) Favorite holiday? I don't know..

8) Who are your favorite blogs (if there are any)?

i-just-have-a-difference

messangersofprimus ~ she's my amazing friend

amelia-rayshen

....and there's so many more!!

9) What are your friends/best friends like?

they're awesome. I've always seen school as an escape from things and they've helped me more than they know 

10) What’s something that’s always on your mind?

I just want to stop. I want to stop being scared, stop being so quiet, stop self harming, stop hurting people, stop being hating myself... stop...stop...stop

11) Tell me something about yourself

 Books are my life! I really hope to write one someday.

Question Time!

1.) One thing you've always wanted to do

2.) biggest fear?

3.) Favorite quote?

4.) If you could see any band in concert who would you see?

5.) favorite otp?

6.) what's something that makes you smile? 

7.) Favorite movie?

8.) Scariest thing you've ever done

9.) Favorite animal?

10.) Someone who inspires you

11.) If you could visit any planet which one would you choose?

[taylor-swift-isnt-straight]

Whats edmr? Thanks!

I’m going to post this publicly just in case any one else is wondering. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma (Most commonly you hear about it treating PTSD). Basically (how my therapist did it) is she used some little oval-looking things that buzz back and forth:

And then she made me talk about why I was afraid of trying something new. She kept making me talk on and on about whatever came to my mind, and eventually I was so focused I was literally staring at the floor telling her every little detail about how I felt. Normally I think with EMDR clients close their eyes and go into their minds (which I’m scared of.. and I don’t know if it would work for me) but considering I was scared shitless of the whole concept of a new therapy type at all.. she had to trick me into this. Then all of a sudden she was like “Salem, you just did the type of therapy I wanted you to do.” and my mind was blown. 

As for why I’m doing it - I have no idea, honestly. My therapist just told me all of a sudden “We’re gonna try a new type of therapy!” and then I freaked out and told her I didn’t want to (but she eventually tricked me into doing it today like I said above). It was cool, from what I gathered from my first experience. Although I would imagine as we go on and talk about deeper and deeper stuff it will get much harder, much more emotional.

[inspirationsforlife-blog]

1,2,11,42

Hi!

1. Any scars? As some people know I’ve been through a really hard time in life so yes.

2. Self harmed? not proud of it but yes.

11. Last time you cried? Sunday

42. Are you okay? I am happy to say that yes, I am actually okay (: 

xoxo Maddie