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Fic: Us Now

Title: Us Now

Rating: G

Genre: Family, Angst (???), Fluff, Romance (a little)

Word Count: 4 166 wow

Summary:

Years after he proposed to his boyfriend (now his husband), Cha-Jung Taekwoon was a man who could say he was pretty happy with life. He had a beautiful family, a loving husband and four perfect kids, in a home big enough for all of them, built mostly by his soaring career as a music producer. He was way better off than most people and, usually, he didn't have reason to complain, but sometimes juggling all of that was....difficult.

Author’s Notes:

While I wrote most of this fic, it recalls many of the things kyaappucino and I wrote in justneofamilythings. In fact, the entire introduction is completely hers, I just copy-pasted it there XD, and then we joined forces for the ending. This was supposed to be a very short fic, but then...things happened, but I like how it turned out. I hope you would too. ❤

Celebratory fic for VIXX's 4th anniversary and Cha-Jung Household's very own little success; We're nearing 200 followers and Flu Shots has been translated to German. Y'all are awesome! Cheers! ❤

-Admin Q ❤

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Taekwoon remembers with perfect clarity how tightly Hakyeon’s dusky fingers grip onto his fork was when he brought out the tiny box, how his breath catches in his throat.

“Taekwoonie…?”

Jung Taekwoon was a man who felt that actions spoke louder than words, and his words always sounded better when they were written down. He lifted the box and out came a long strip of paper. He’s written and rewritten the words so many times, he’d never be able to forget it, ever.

After all these years, can I still get to know you for the rest of our lives?

“Taek…” Hakyeon’s voice sounds choked up, and the tears fall for real when Taekwoon gets the ring from the box and fits it onto his boyfriend’s finger, his voice no louder than a breathy whisper.

“Will you marry me?”

-----------------------------------

It's been years since he proposed to his boyfriend (now husband), Cha-Jung Taekwoon is a man who could say he is pretty happy with life. He has a beautiful family, a loving husband and four perfect kids, in a home big enough for all of them, built mostly by his soaring career as a music producer. He is way better off than most people and, usually, he didn't have reason to complain, but sometimes juggling all of that is....difficult.

-----------------------------------

The production period of his upcoming album was in full swing. Taekwoon was almost always at the studio at the very buttcrack of dawn until ungodly hours of the night, and again the next day. He loved his job, his career, but he didn't leave so early because he wanted to. He needed to.

His husband, Hakyeon, knew this and yet he would complain every morning when he stirred from sleep, woken by Taekwoon as he was getting out of bed. "You're leaving so early again?" Hakyeon would pout, squinting up at him, and Taekwoon would bend down to kiss him, squeezing the hands clutching at his pajamas before gently, painfully prying them off.

Any longer and he would have allowed those hands to pull him back down under the sheets. Couldn't have resisted, to be honest.

"I have to, love. You know how work is," he would say, and Hakyeon would whine, kicking under the blanket like a petulant child when Taekwoon tears his hands away as Hakyeon guides them to his chest. "But you got home so late last night! Stay home today, please? I miss you."

Taekwoon would pause, breathe deeply through the nose, and kiss Hakyeon again, cupping his cheeks in his hands. "I'll make it up to you."

Usually Hakyeon would sulkily nod and bury himself under the covers, but this time he hung on to Taekwoon’s shirt, looking up at him with pleading puppy eyes. “Come home early tonight, okay? Promise?”

Placing a soft kiss on Hakyeon’s nose, he whispered, “I promise.”

It was sweet, really. He appreciated Hakyeon wanting to be with him, and he missed him too, but Taekwoon had hardly rested these past few weeks and he had to save what energy he could gather from what sleep he could get for work. Dealing with a whiny Hakyeon, and resisting the want to do exactly as his husband says, every other morning sapped that energy.

-----------------------------------

Taekwoon had to monitor every single instrument recorded, listen to the arrangement, and re-record a track if something felt off. It demanded all of his attention, but that never seemed to stop his children from calling at random times throughout the day.

The first call came just as he finished queueing the tracks he needed to listen to, his phone vibrating on his desk and flashing Ken's display picture on Facetime, his eyes closed and his thick lips pouted in a kiss. So cute. Just looking at it pulled his lips into a smile.

"A wild Dadwoon has appeared!" he heard one of his staff whisper to the others, gaining gasps and giggles, as he picked up his phone. They rarely ever saw this side of him and they were always shocked. Taekwoon had to admit, sometimes he got a kick out of it. This was not one of those times, and they retreated with squeaks and a suddenly long list of things to do as he fixed them with a withering gaze.

Taekwoon tapped the answer button as he held his phone in front of him, and Ken's face came into view, his eyes red and puffy, and his lower lip jutting out in a pout. Taekwoon's smile melted immediately. "Appa..." he sniffled.

Taekwoon unconsciously crouched forward in his seat, tense, feeling like his chest was caving in on itself. What happened? Ken was the noisiest and most expressive of his children, screaming his joy or displeasure without restraint, but he rarely ever cried. "Jaehwannie, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Ken nodded and ducked from view. When he came up again, he held up a small can of paint, the new one Taekwoon had just bought him. "Wonshik ate my paint and now his mouth is blue!"

"What?" The mix of relief and shock washed over him and wrapped around him like a thick sludge, leaving him slow and uncomprehending. "Sorry, what?"

Ken turned the camera toward Wonshik whose lips were a bizarre shade of cobalt. "Ken-hyung told me to eat it because it says non-toxic!" Wonshik said, revealing the inside of his mouth to be blue as well--teeth, cheeks, tongue, all blue.

"I didn't!" Ken yelled somewhere in the background, tearing Wonshik's eyes away from the screen. Taekwoon heard something thud too, which he figured was his eldest stomping his foot. "I said you can eat it because it's non-toxic, I didn't say you should, you dummy!"

"I am NOT a dummy!" Wonshik retorted, slamming the phone down and leaving Taekwoon to stare at the star-painted ceiling of Ken's room as he listened to his two eldest sons argue in the background.

-----------------------------------

Taekwoon had to coordinate with a number of artists with schedules just as clogged as his and make sure the vocals were up to his standards in what time they could allot to record it--If they failed, that would mean another few days of haggling for another appointment, and Taekwoon could not deal with any more delays.

Commitment to the job was required of him and his artists, indeed of everyone who wanted get anywhere at all, which is why Taekwoon felt his head throb when he received a text message from Coach Kang-in, Hongbin’s football coach.

“Good afternoon, Cha-Jung-nim. Hongbin didn’t come to practice again today. He looked okay during class though. Does he still want to be a part of the team? I need to know for sure so we could find a replacement before the interschool competitions.”

Taekwoon took a deep breath. He pressed a button on the table, abruptly halting the music and earning a puzzled look from the artist on the other side of the window. Another button to turn on the intercom and the speakers carried his tired voice throughout the studio, “Five-minute break.”

He stood up and stepped out of the studio before the whispering started, swiping down to Hongbin’s name on Facetime, display picture smiling widely at him, eyes crinkled into crescents. It rang a few times, Taekwoon tapping his foot impatiently, before the call was picked up.

Nothing came on screen, blackness, but he could hear Hongbin giggling and a wet suckling sound, the source so close to the microphone that it overpowered all other sounds from their end. “Hyogie, gimme the tablet, that’s not for eating,” he heard Hongbin say and the screen zoomed out to reveal that the blackness had been the top of Hongbin’s head. The boy held the device an arm’s length away, flicking his head a little to get his curls out of his eyes (Taekwoon noted absently that they needed to visit a barber soon). Pudgy baby Hyogie sat on his lap, reaching for the tablet. They were both on the floor of Hongbin’s room, judging by the polished wooden floor and the plain sky blue walls. “Hold on, appa.”

Hongbin reached out to somewhere and, when he came back on screen, he was holding a pretzel as large as his face, probably bought from the nearby bakery on his way home from school, and handing it to the baby. Hyuk grabbed it with his fat little fingers and promptly started gumming on the crust. “Eomma said he’s teething. That means his teeth are growing, you know?” Hongbin explained as he turned to look at the screen back to Taekwoon, giggling. “He tried to eat eomma’s face.”

He could imagine Hakyeon screaming for help while Hyuk clung to his cheek with his mouth. “Where’s eomma now?” he asked, the corners of his lips curling up despite his frustration with the boy. That bright smile and those dimples were contagious, and Taekwoon was thankful someone, other than himself, could handle Hyuk.

“He went to the clinic with Wonshik, just to be sure he doesn’t get a tummyache,” Hongbin said mechanically, brushing soggy crumbs out of Hyuk’s face. Taekwoon guessed the boy probably didn’t understand what poisoning was, directly quoting Hakyeon. “They’ll be back soon, eomma said.”

“Okay, good.” Taekwoon nodded, relieved. He almost thought he had to go home to watch over them--He would love to, but he was hardly finished with work and he had deadlines to meet.

Then he caught a glimpse of a dusty football in the corner and remembered why he had called in the first place.

“Coach Kang-in texted me awhile ago,” he started, and even through video call, he could see, feel Hongbin stiffen, staring everywhere but at the screen. “He said you haven’t been coming to practice. Are you--”

Hongbin’s display shook and he heard something crash in the background. “Aaah! Look at what you did, Hyogie,” Hongbin tut-tutted, and Taekwoon noticed his leg pulling back, Hyuk’s puzzled face as he looked up at his brother, still sitting on the floor and gnawing at the giant pretzel. Whatever it was that crashed, the boy had kicked it to distract him. “Have to clean this up before they come back. Bye, appa!”

And then the call ended, leaving Taekwoon to frown at his phone, Hongbin’s display picture mocking.

-----------------------------------

Taekwoon never broke promises. He rarely ever made them, and when he did, he kept his word. Hakyeon knew this, and he had promised that morning that he would come home early, but his husband still found it necessary to barrage him with texts.

Where are you? (o^ ^o)

What are you doing? ♡(˘⌣˘ )

You’re coming home tonight, right? (◕‿◕)♡

You promised you’d come home. (´• ω •`)

I’ll be waiting~ ♡ ～('▽^人)

And it might have been endearing any other time, but not when Taekwoon was directing one artist after another, coaching them throughout the recording, listening to the recorded tracks, and re-recording when necessary, all to be finished before the end of the day so he could honor his promise. It didn’t help that Wonshik’s blue mouth and Hongbin missing football practice were still bouncing around in his head, making it pound in addition to the crash of 3 cups of coffee he had had throughout the day. His phone beeping every few minutes did not improve his mood.

One of the PA’s knew to go for another coffee run (and maybe some snacks) when Taekwoon grabbed his device and lobbed it across the room. It crashed against the wall, saved only by its armored phone case, before landing on the couch.

-----------------------------------

Eyes heavy, head pounding, Taekwoon sat in his car, unmoving. Hands on the wheel, fingers tapping an irregular beat. He looked out the window, staring at the facade of the house he and Hakyeon had built together and called home. He had left work early, as he promised, head near bursting with jumbled lyrics, blue mouths, giant pretzels, and cute little emoticons, swimming in a loop of instrumentals that once had a distinct melody but now clashed and buzzed in an unidentifiable din.

He hadn’t been paying attention to where he was going as he drove, finding his way home out of habit, and now hesitating whether he should come in or not. He loved his family, he truly did, and he could never think of living without them, and sometimes that was the only thought that kept him from driving away, somewhere they won’t find him, somewhere he could have a little peace of mind.

The family became too big, too fast, and sometimes Taekwoon regretted not listening to Hakyeon. Maybe they should have waited before getting more kids after all, but...here they were.

The sun was still out. First time in weeks that he saw it again, painting the sky in the soft shade of orange that Ken loved, turning navy blue the farther it was from the horizon, Hongbin’s favorite color. His eyes flickered to Hyuk’s booster seat in the back, Wonshik’s pillow right beside it, a little crusty in places with dried spit.

A car passed him, its headlights catching on the ring on his left hand. Two silver bands looping over and under one another, rounded to form a ring. Hakyeon had designed their wedding rings himself, took him months and delayed their wedding, but so happy when he finally finished it, his smile all teeth and blinding. Designed after the infinity symbol. “Because our love is forever,” said Hakyeon.

Taekwoon sighed and pressed the button to open the gate.

-----------------------------------

When Taekwoon entered the house, he almost thought he had gone into the wrong one.

Golden sheets of cloth hung from the ceiling in arches, painted with blue stars (Taekwoon could tell which ones had been made by Ken and which ones were made by any one of his brothers), the fabric softening the glare of the fluorescent lights of their house and bathing everything in a soft yellow. A white carpet had been laid down, strewn with blue rose petals, all the way from the foyer where he stood and leading to the living room.

Taekwoon checks his phone as he toes out of his shoes. May 24. Not their wedding anniversary. What’s gotten into Hakyeon?

Curiosity and excitement for a surprise overpowered exhaustion, and Taekwoon follows the trail of petals on the floor, his hand absently tracing the wall, when his fingers caught on something. Taekwoon looked up and found--How did he even miss it?--photos taped to the wall. So many photos.

A black-and-white photo of Ken, a little blip in a sweet lady’s stomach. Taekwoon remembers the day she told them that it had taken, that she was finally pregnant. It had taken them two attemps, and he and Hakyeon were about to give up, so elated that they had cried, and it chokes Taekwoon up even now.

Then a photo of himself, smiling serenely, eyes closed, as he lightly pressed his ear against her baby bump, listening to Ken kicking in her belly.

Hakyeon and him in baby pink scrubs, noses and mouths covered with masks but their smiles evident by the crinkle of their teary eyes as they held Ken between them, small and pink and perfect. His little hand was grasping Taekwoon’s pinky, his little mouth forming a small “o” in a yawn. A bracelet wrapped loosely around his tiny wrist, and Taekwoon knew rather than saw what was written on it. Cha-Jung Jaehwan.

Hakyeon curled around Ken in his crib, that one night when nothing could make him stop crying. Taekwoon rocking Ken to sleep in his arms, singing him a lullaby. Hakyeon feeding Ken his first baby food, homemade apple puree. Taekwoon teaching Ken how to walk. Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Ken grinning as they sent him off to kindergarten.

Taekwoon felt his heart swell, choking him up as his eyes warmed with tears. He touched each photo lightly, delicately. So precious.

Then there was him, Hakyeon, and Ken in the car. Hakyeon was smiling but there was anxiety in the way his eyebrows scrunched while, even in a still, Ken looked about to bounce off his seat. Taekwoon himself had a face-splitting grin. They were on their way to the orphanage.

Ken holding another child’s hand in each of his--Wonshik on his left, jet black hair in complete disarray and looking up at the camera, at Taekwoon, droopy eyes pleading; Hongbin on his right, chocolate brown hair tied up into curly twintails, looking anxiously at Ken and biting his lower lip. Taekwoon and Hakyeon had only planned to find a sibling for Ken, spending the entire day in the orphanage and talking to different kids, but the boy had found two himself, Wonshik and Hongbin.

At the time, it had been Hakyeon who had been hesitant. How could they possibly handle suddenly having three children? But Taekwoon had held his hand, giving it a little squeeze, and said, “We’ll make it. We have each other, don’t we?”

Now Taekwoon wants to kick himself for even thinking of leaving, of being away from his family, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. They were his everything. He doesn’t even muffle it when a sob bubbles up his throat and escapes his mouth. He continues down the hall, taking a few seconds to look at each picture.

Their bedroom, Hakyeon holding the camera away with one arm, the other around Ken who was asleep on his chest. Taekwoon beside them, Hongbin on his chest, Wonshik in his arm between him and Hakyeon. Their first night together as a family.

Taekwoon painting the wall of Wonshik’s new room, black and white stripes from the ceiling to the floor, while looking over at Hongbin, Wonshik, and Ken, armed with brushes pointed at one another, streaks of paint all over their faces, arms, and clothes. Taekwoon remembered Hakyeon fuming over laundry before finally giving up on removing the paint and just declaring them the boys’ official work clothes, for any and all occasions that might end with them dirty.

Hakyeon sitting on a rocking chair by Wonshik’s bed, worry on his face as he watched over the boy sleep. Hongbin’s room, the walls baby blue with a navy blue accent, their pretty boy in bed and curled around Wonshik. The two boys were prone to nightmares, but Hakyeon made sure, still does, that they felt safe with him, with each other. It’s a work in progress, but Taekwoon hopes, knows that someday their nights would be quiet and filled with sweet dreams instead.

There were times when he thought of taking Hongbin and Wonshik back to the orphanage, but now he can’t even imagine the house without them in it, their voices filling the halls with laughter, full and coming from the belly. Can’t imagine anyone other than himself and Hakyeon hugging them, cooing them back to sleep after a particularly hard nightmare.

The next picture brought a fresh mixture of joy and longing in Taekwoon. It was another ultrasound, almost completely black, the baby in it such a small dot of white that they almost thought he wasn’t there, but the doctor and the number of pregnancy tests they did confirmed that he was indeed there, somewhere, too small to see. He had seen it on her face too. Jisoo, Hyuk’s surrogate mother, had been positively glowing.

There weren’t any pictures of her on the wall though, and that was fine. Taekwoon understood, and Jisoo would have too. Taekwoon is only starting to get an idea of what today is about, but he is sure it isn’t about him and her.

Today is about them--Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and the kids, Ken, Wonshik, Hongbin, and Hyuk.

Hakyeon covering his mouth with his hand, tears spilling from his eyes, as his other hand felt Hyuk kick in Jisoo’s belly. It had taken some convincing, but Hakyeon finally agreed to see Jisoo, putting his jealousy aside to visit their baby, his and Taekwoon’s.

A side-by-side collage of Taekwoon holding little (well, littler) baby Hyuk in his arms, kissing the top of his bald head, and then Hakyeon cradling him carefully, almost warily, but there was wonder and love in his eyes as he gazed at the baby’s sleeping face.

Hakyeon may not have been happy with Taekwoon’s choice to have his teenage sweetheart carry their baby for them, but he could not help but love the boy that was also partly Taekwoon.

Ken and Wonshik standing on the tips of their toes to see above the bars of the crib, watching over their baby brother with an excited glint in their eyes. When will he wake up? Can he play with us? Can we play with him? Hongbin had wisely sat down and looked instead through the gaps between the bars, where he had a better view of the baby with less effort, saying, “No, he’s too small. Right, appa?” Taekwoon had patted Wonshik and Ken’s heads fondly. “Hongbinnie’s right. He needs to get bigger first,” he had said, earning disappointed whines from the two boys.

Hongbin, face half covered with a mask, holding a medicine dropper full of water to Hyuk’s mouth, the baby sucking eagerly--The time Hyuk had caught the flu, and everyone but Hongbin had panicked, which led to the next picture in which Taekwoon is holding Hyuk against him with one hand, the camera with the other. Hyuk had a cotton ball taped to his shoulder, exactly like the ones Ken, Hongbin and Wonshik were showing off on their shoulders from behind them. Hakyeon’s head poked from the side of the frame, grinning widely.

It’s only been a few years since he and Hakyeon said their vows, but their family is already six-members big, the two of them neck deep in parenthood too fast, too deep, that it left Taekwoon reeling, overwhelmed by the weight of the four little lives on his shoulders. So heavy for such small packages.

And being away from home for so long, not being with them for even a few minutes every day, Taekwoon had forgotten that he wasn’t carrying them alone. Ever since Ken arrived---No, even before then. The moment he decided he wanted to have a family, kids of his own, Hakyeon had been at his side.

He wasn’t even carrying them at all. His kids, their kids hadn’t simply been growing up. They had been growing with him.

Feeling the heaviness on his heart and on his shoulders lift, a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob tumbled out of his mouth, loud and full, and he heard Wonshik’s voice from the living room, “What’s appa laughing at?”

“The picture of your little weewee, probably,” came Hongbin’s voice, followed by Hyuk’s giggles. The baby didn’t understand, but Taekwoon guessed Wonshik had made a face. That always made Hyuk laugh. Then there was an indignant gasp. “You put it there!?”

Hakyeon’s bright laughter. “No, Ken did.” There was another indignant gasp. “Eomma! You said you wouldn’t tell!”

“What, you think you got being a sell-out from your appa?” was Hakyeon’s giggly answer, much to Ken’s chagrin. “Nooooooooo!”

“Hey, I should be saying that!” said Wonshik, straining to look for the scandalous little Polaroid. He was soon stopped when he saw Taekwoon joining them in laughter, happy tears rolling freely down his cheeks, walking into the living room.

Party strings exploded in his face, fired from four different cans, as a large banner read, “Happy Us Now”. Only then did Taekwoon remembered what day it was.

May 24.

The day Hakyeon said yes.

The day they decided to build a family. Their family.

“This is why--”

“Mmhm.” Hakyeon smiled and loosely grabbed Taekwoon’s waist. “Among other things.” He carefully brushed the tears away with his thumb and said softly, “They made you a cake.” Ken’s eyes sparkled and he said, “Oh yeah! The cake! We gotta go get it~”

Hongbin’s voice trailed off as the kids went towards the kitchen. “You mean the one we almost burned the house with?”

Ken’s answering chirp made both parents laugh. “The house can’t burn down, Binnie. We put protective seals on it and everything.”

While the children were getting the cake, Hakyeon smiled and held his husband’s hand, their wedding rings clinking together. “I’ll always be by your side, okay? I love you.”

Taekwoon nodded, and kissed the top of Hakyeon’s head. “Even if you send me really annoying text messages.”

Hakyeon breathed out a little puff of air. “Excuse you, those emojis were cute.”

His heart swelled with affection then, seeing his pouty, clingy husband. “Ah. This face.” Taekwoon cupped Hakyeon’s cheeks, his husband trying his best to look angry. “I’ll just have to love you some more, won’t I?”

And Hakyeon couldn’t answer anymore as Taekwoon pressed a kiss to the center of his lips. His puffed cheeks were replaced with a happy smile. “Of course. Forever and ever. We’ll make it work. We have each other, don’t we?” Hakyeon said, echoing Taekwoon as they looked to the kids smearing icing on each other’s faces.

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