This year has been very difficult for me. It all has started around a year ago, when I caught covid.
I have underlying neurological condition (temporal lobe epilepsy) which in the combo with covid has completely fucked my right hand and right leg.
This year I’ve spent at 4 hospitals, seeing dozens of different doctors, done countless of tests, received many scary and ridiculous diagnosis, received invasive treatments (immunosuppressants, immunoglobulins, even Botox injections in my hand which btw, put my hand out of commission for 3 months and made everything worse) for said conditions only for them not to work.
All of that just at the end to hear the doctors finally go back on their crazy diagnosis and entertain the idea of post covid neurological damage (despite the discharge papers from the last hospital stated ‘for further diagnosis’, I was basically left to fend for myself…).
All in all, for all tense and purposes I should be a healthy individual (as healthy as a person with autoimmune conditions can be). Because aside from certain things in my spinal fluid everything is absolutely fine!
I’m right handed, or I should say I WAS right handed, since I’m still unable to use my right hand to it’s full potential and I’ve no idea if I ever will. I can’t eat, draw, write with it. Movement is very slow, so using mouse or keyboard is difficult as well. Carrying things is difficult as well, because I seem to be lacking ‘gyroscope’ in my hand ;)
But I’m walking normally again, so at least that! Muscle spasms/tremors in my right hand lessened (basically gone) as well. And it’s all thanks to physical therapy that NO doctor suggested I should do!
This year has been very hard for me, physically and mentally, I’ve struggled a lot, I thought of the worst. But I think I’m slowly accepting my limitations. I have very supportive family and friends and I think I wouldn’t have been able to continue like this if it wasn’t for them.
Heh… @fawn-eyed-girl used a words ‘tenacity’ and ‘determination’ to describe me and I think they are accurate, because I’m overcoming the obstacles that life has thrown at me. I didn’t accept defeat and I’ve decided to learn how to draw with my left hand.
As @neutronstarchild said: it’s all in my mind, my knowledge and skill, and hopefully talent are all in my mind, hand is just an extension.
So all the art you are seeing me post this year has been done with my non-dominant hand, that is slowly turning into my dominant hand ;)
Sorry about the long post, I just thought I’d share this years summary, in the hope of next year turning out better!
Ps. In 2020 my husband and I had planned a trip to Japan as our honeymoon, but covid happened and we had to postpone, we are planning to go in March next year (saving up mode - on!)I’m still in the process of learning how to eat with chopsticks lol