OKAY. IT’S KAMMY’S FUCKING BIRTHDAY.
YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK KAMMY IS. KAMMY IS AVAILABLE, IN HER PERSONAL TIME, AT THE BLOG @jecnjiyoon. This section of this post, right here, this is so you know WHO this post is for and HOW HARD I’M ABOUT TO GO FOR HER.
THIS IS WHERE THE READ MORE GOES… … … right about here.
There it is!
OKAY!!!! So, when I was a young boll… maybe five years ago, I was writing in the Borderlands Fandom. I had an OC who was PROBLEMATIC. LORDT, she was problematic. So problematic, in fact, that the Borderlands fandom rolled up in DROVES to my inbox and sent me on my fucking way.
I was a cunt, I accept my failings. YOU KNOW WHO DIDN’T ACCEPT MY FAILINGS? FUCKING KAMMY! Kammy was there at the time on… Bewitching-Blaze. THE OG SANAZ URL, back when Snazzy wasn’t Snazzy and ‘The Squad™’ was still being formed from the clay of the universe.
Kammy saw my blog, looked deep into the confines of my soul and pulled me into her circle without a SECOND THOUGHT. She was like ‘Yeah, fam. You’re cool, I like this thing you’re doing there with your Nicki Minaj FC and your existence, you can chill.’
AND WE CHILLED. Leona, my OC at the time, was PULLED into Sanaz’ life (and by extension Kammy’s) and it was LIT FROM THEN ON. Sanaz and Leona became roommates, Leona HATED Sanaz’ dogs and- OOH, you know what came after that?
Fucking LAMAI. MAI TAI LAMAI PRINYA AND THE GIRLS ON ROOK ISLAND! That shit was WICKED. Kammy made characters with fucking SOUL, son! You remember how Lamai was so fucking VICIOUS yet, in the same breath and I MEAN the same breath, so fucking elegant? With a Lucy Liu FC it’s expected, however, Kammy BROUGHT HER TO LIFE. KAMMY’S BEEN BRINGING BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE AND GLORIOUS CHARACTERS TO LIFE SINCE BEFORE I MET HER PROBABLY.
SHE HAD ACTUAL ‘CAMMY’ BEFORE I SHOWED UP, AND I KNOW SHE WAS OUT THERE THROWING CQC’S AT NIGGAS WITH THE KILLER BEE LIKE IT WAS HITTING THE SPACE KEY.
SHE’S JUST- I’m overusing the caps lock, cause clearly I’m excited / super proud of Kammy, but uh… I mean SHIT! Fucking what else… OOH, okay, so after Lamai it was…
Oh fuck, it was- Maleina? Old girl who was the Rafi prototype, I suppose. ANOTHER WICKED CHARACTER, but that was when Kammy started notching into her current ‘trope’ of Carefree Black Girls. (The same trope I’ve been trying to ride the wave of for many moons now. Just look at Roxie’s title, fam. My entire tumblr lifestyle has been affected by riding the breakers from Kammy’s wavemaking.)
BUT THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY WITH ALL THIS RAMBLING! Kammy is the ARCHETYPE. She’s the BEST. SHE’S LITERALLY THE FORGOTTEN DAUGHTER OF A DEITY OF CREATION WHO’S BEEN BOUND TO HUMAN FORM IN ORDER TO LEAD US, THE CHILDREN OF THE EARTH, TO BEING BETTER WRITERS.
After Maleina it was… that blog with the girl from Oyasumi Punpun that made me SAD. It was such a POIGNANT AND SAD CHARACTER! YOU THOUGHT KAMMY WAS ALL SUNSHINE AND GOOD TIMES? FUCK YOU, AND YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, KAMMY’S GOT EMOTIONAL RANGE BRUV.
That character was the SADDEST thing I’ve ever seen conferred to text form and KAMMY DID THAT. SHE BROUGHT THAT EMOTION OUT FROM THE DEPTHS OF HER SOUL AND PUT US ALL ONTO THE ANGST GAME. THOUGHT I WAS OUT HERE PIONEERING SAD SHIT WITH ROXANNE? FUCK THAT, KAMMY KICKED THE DOOR OPEN FIRST.
Then it was… uh- … It was that Bleach phase for a while. That was a wild ass time, niggas were stuck in that black and white Tite Kubo troll hell. I’m gonna be dead ass, I wasn’t really WITH that, but Kammy was bringing the Squad in, so I found me a Zanpakuto and some Juri Han icons and I was IN THERE.
Why am I writing all this? Am I just here to document Kammy’s writing experiences? Hell no, that’s not my job! The HISTORY BOOKS will have a full record of Kammy’s exploits when she achieves true fame, I’m just here to explain that Kammy’s existence, her PRESENCE, her ability, affections and attitude have shaped the last THREE-FIVE YEARS OF MY INTERNET LIFE!
From Persian Succubi (Suck Yo Busses, shout out to Flawzell Williams) to Anime Warriors (La Vie est Drole, shout out to the Kiryuin family) to the WITCH SQUAD (for which I am truly repentant for leaving. You, Gabby and Mina deserved better than I could offer.) to the fucking present.
Kammy you’re an exceptional writer, a brilliant ‘team leader’ and an overall lovely individual. I know I try my best to chat you up whenever I get the chance, but I genuinely mean every single letter of every single compliment. My time on tumblr, and I think, my time in general has been greatly improved by your very presence.
It took me like an hour to write this up, I just realized it’s past fucking midnight as I’m about to post this and so I’ve missed your birthday by like… HAIRS, but I hope it was good. I hope you had a great time, I hope all the important people in your life reminded you how important YOU are to them. And I hope you found money you needed and got the right shade of MAC lipstick from the lady behind the counter, cause I know you’ve been struggling with her ass since like… the jump.
I hope you’re turnt up right now and that the next 365 days are INFINITELY better than the last 365.
Happy birthday, Kammy. You’re the fucking best.
