Your opinions on Mitsuri Kanroji? :)
I’m going to talk about Mitsuri and Obanai in the same post because both characters relate to the theme of “Love.” When you talk about them, you kind of have to talk about them together because they’re designed as a pair to compare and contrast to each other. With that out of the way... continued underneath the cut.
Kanroji Mitsuri - Love Breathing
Both Obanai and Mitsuri have deeply internalized the fact that they are unlovable, due to a quality their body possesses, and the circumstances they were born in. They also respond to these feelings of internal self loathing in different ways, Mitsuri believing that no one could love her attempted to join the demon slayers in order to “find” that love.
Mitsuri’s motivation is one that seems extremely simple at first, to find someone who would want to marry her, despite being born with a body that makes her unlike any other woman. However, it gets more complex when you see how deep her complete lack of confidence in herself runs.
Mitsuri sees herself as such an unlovable, abnormal person that she basically ‘self-harms” in an attempt to appear more normal. She starves herself, lies about her, and all of these things deny who she really is.
Mitsuri’s goal isn’t actually to get married, but self acceptance. She wants to be comfortable with her body, and being herself, but she believes the path to this is finding somebody else who will love and marry her because that is what she’s been told her whole life. Mitsuri can’t love herself, so she’s constantly seeking external validation from other people, she thinks if someone tells her that’s she’s okay being who she is, that will fix her.
Mitsuri’s always kind to other people with a bit of a selfish motivation, because she wants them to be kind and accepting towards her. It’s not wrong to be selfish though, or to want to be valued for who you are.
Mitsuri fights demons because she believes it’s her way to earn acceptance and love. Her conflict is her deeply internalized self loathing, even though Mitsuri is one of the strongest Hashira she always feels useless and ineffective. Even though she’s caring towards others, she remembers that her motivations aren’t so noble as the rest of the demon slayers and she hates herself for that too. No matter how loving Mitsuri is, a part of her will always hate herself, and she’s fighting against those feelings.
Mitsuri perceives herself as a deeply unlovable person, and I think nowhere is more evident than her two closest relationships in the demon slayers. Shinobu and Mitsuri (which is expanded upon in the novels) are best friends, and Obanai is not only set up as her love interest but is devoted to protecting her. Both of these characters are themed around the idea of poison, Obanai with his serpents, and Shinobu who is both a medicine and poisonmaker. Mitsuri is probably drawn to these people in particular, because she understands such deeply seated feelings of unworthiness (Shinobu will never be as good as her sister. Obanai will never be able to redeem himself for the family he was born into) and how they can poison you from the inside slowly.
Iguro Obanai - Serpent Breathing
Obanai and Mitsuri are flipped. They’re opposites. Mitsuri hides all of her toxic self loathing deep inside of her and appears as a lovable person on the surface always reaching out to others, while Obanai is a toxic person on the surface and a loner who deliberately separates himself from others. However they share the same motivation, they’re incapable of being comfortable in the body they were born into, they hate who they are, the person they were born as, they can’t ever be loved for being themselves.
When we’re first introduced to him all that’s shown is his toxic traits, because that’s how he presents himself to others. I mean, the first thing he does as a character in the manga, is hate Tanjiro, who is the softest, most lovable boy. His love for Mitsuri is potrtrayed as a deeply jealous possessiveness. Even his love for other people is shown in the most toxic way possible.
Obanai’s training is also very indicative of his character. He has all the students he’s trying to teach, tied up like crimminals. Then he claims he’s punishing them for their crimes. However, we later learn that all of these things Obanai lashes out and says about other people, are actually things he believes about himself.
Ever since he was born, Obanai has punished himself again and again for being born into such a wicked family. Even when he finally escaped, he bore the guilt of being blamed for the death of the rest of his family.
For Obanai there’s nothing that can make the guilt of his crimes go away, so what he does is punish himself over and over again. He’s so focused on the idea that he’s a bad person that deserves to be punished, that’s the side of himself he always shows in front of others. Mitsuri seeks self love in joining the demon slayers, but Obanai is seeking out self punishment, he’s seeking out a wy to die and atone for his sins.
While Mitsuri doesn’t think another person could ever love her, Obanai believes he’s unworthy to ever love another person. Which is why even though he’s well aware of his feelings, he can’t tell them to her, because his feelings would only poison her the same way he’s poisoned everything else.
That’s why even though both of them love each other, both of them also view their feelings as unrequited, because Mitsuri can’t love herself, because Obanai can’t forgive himself. Because Mitsuri believes she’s unlovable, because Obanai believes he can’t love anyone.
