YAKUZA AU: Thoughts & Words
Summary: After the ballroom assassination, some people tend to overthink, and some may question people's worth. Maybe their own or someone else's.
Lotus/Hanako belongs to @polar-stars !!
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The stars would serve no purpose to humans if they cannot be seen, but what are humans to tell something's worth?
It was early morning, a time when no one was awake, but several other things were. Thoughts which flooded people's minds, and a massive envy for those who can sleep in peace. After the sound of the gunshot, there was no way of sleeping with no overbearing thought.
He put down his cigarette, looking off to the distance as he wondered if there was anyone asleep that night. He could hear the echoes from the hall— and it was a mix of chattering and footsteps, he couldn't tell who was who. All he knew was he wanted to be left alone to think for a while.
Of course he was the most bothered by it, it was the person who he had to protect. She was the one who almost got injured, she was also the one who pulled the trigger. Even if he told the rest that it was a mission, deep in his mind, he knew it was something more. Maybe some kind of attachment? A kind of emotion? He couldn't tell it apart anymore, he was confused whether it truly was because it was his duty, or something inside him grew.
He sighed loudly before scratching his head, an irritated look still stuck in his face. Funny enough, it was no irritation at anyone else but himself. He couldn't bare the thought of losing her— and for what? For feelings he refuses to accept? That's absolutely insulting to the man who he used to be. But he couldn't help it, could he?
Before he could go on with his monologue, he heard the door creak open. While he wanted to tell the person to piss off, he had to take a glance on who it was first. He turned around and opened his mouth, prepared to tell someone to leave him alone for the night because he was tired, and he didn't want accompany.
But instead, his mouth was left wide open because he saw the person who he couldn't stop thinking of right in front of him. Not only that, but she was still dressed in the ballroom gown, still looking as beautiful as ever. Her hair was down and her melancholy eyes were staring at his burning ones.
Her hair had a couple of black roses that matched with her entire get-up. A sleeveless long dress that had a gown that reached the floor, and black high-heels. Even if she was in danger, she looked marvelous. And now that he wasn't pressured to keep her safe, he had time to appreciate the view.
He shook his head to snap himself out of his own thoughts, and he only crossed his arms. "What are you doing here?" His voice was assertive, and there was irritation in it. No, he wasn't mad at her, but he thought about how she was supposed to be staying indoors so there was no chance of her getting hurt. The mere thought of her getting injured by being outdoors was what was irritating him. "You shouldn't be outside at this hour."
Nene shrugged, taking steps closer to the railings of the balcony. "We are in the Sakda mansion, in a balcony. This is barely outside." She replies dryly, before she place her hands on top of the railings, her eyes looking up at the sky.
Yes, he knew he was appreciating how the stars were reflected in her eyes. Yes, he was appreciating the view of her in the dress. But obviously, there was one thing that overpowered it.
"I know but I..." He froze, realizing what he was going to say but she only waited for him to continue. A few seconds passed, but he only brushed his hair back before "tch"ing and turning his head to the side. "Nevermind."
"No." She says, getting closer. "Tell me. What were you supposed to say?" She wouldn't let him go that easily. For the past few hours, he only stayed in that place and worried everyone inside the house, including her. If there was something she wanted to get from him, it would be his words of affirmation that he was okay, but it seems like she wasn't going to get that soon.
Eizan only turned away from her, refusing to look at her in the eye. Was it time to be honest? It felt cruel to leave her hanging when she was the first one— Hell, the only one who chose to go to him even if he was avoiding everyone.
"I was worried about you." He flinched for a moment when he said those words, but he chose to continue anyway, despite disliking the fact he was opening up to herm "I am worried about you. I still am." He finally admits how he felt, and before Nene could interrupt him with reassurance that she was fine, he made her hear things she would have not expected. "Holy fuck, Kinokuni— I care for you. And it fucking terrifies me when I see a chance of you getting hurt."
Nene grew more quiet than she already was, and she only took a few steps closer before tapping his shoulder. "If you want to talk to me, look at me in the eyes, Etsuya." She says his first name, not even noticing that she needed no reminder from anyone else to do so. "Look at me in the eyes and tell me— Tell me the truth, you better not be lying."
He does as she says, but there is obvious shock in his expression.
"It's the truth. Why the fuck do you think I would lie about that?" He responds, a bit harshly. For once he put his guard down and became honest, and she seems to doubt his words? "I wouldn't lie to you, Nene. Not anymore." He calls her by her first name as well, and without warning, he feels her hands wrapping around his. "... What?"
She closed her eyes, taking a few breaths before talking again. Her voice was a bit more shaky. "I know you're supposed to protect me, and I know you say you don't want me to be hurt— but don't you dare risk your own life ever again." She grips his hands tightly. "Because I don't want to lose you either, I'm terrified of losing you."
There was a silence between them and for that single moment, Eizan recalled why he always fixated her on stars, took note of why it reflected her eyes, and why he always stargaze when he felt the need to relax. Because of the fact that she was one, he could never tell her worth at a glance, at least not before. But now when she stares back at him, it felt like she meant everything to him.
What were people to tell him what her worth was? She was no trophy wife to protect, nor was she a jewel that should be hidden. She was everything, and beyond that— and only then did he know, he didn't want to lose her.
He loved her.
He fucking loved her.
And she loved him too.
She truly did.
He finally grips her hands back, his face finally changing from irritation to pure worry and sadness, yet surprise and loved. He never felt this way, not all of these emotions at once.
"I won't go that easily, nor will I die." He finally tells her this, before releasing her hand slowly, just to cup her cheeks. "I won't let anyone hurt you either, we'll get though this and no one in the fucking world can break that promise."
She calmed down, her voice going back to normal, and after getting the reassurance, she only leaned closer to his face—
And for the first time, without any outside force or comments, without any demands or tokens, they kissed.
They kissed, and the only thing they needed in that moment was each other.
.
.
.
A few minutes has passed, and they finally came back in together, just to spot the allied gang boss with his planner, forming a new plan for the next possible mission.
Before Eizan could call out to him, he spotted a certain figure, putting his pointer finger in front of his lips, even saying "shhh" softly. Obviously, he wanted both him and Nene to stay quiet. Were they supposed to observe the scenario in front of them? Or was it his way to see a couple commence?
"Lotus, you should go to sleep." The allied boss says, flipping through the papers she has given him. "Your plans are lovely, and so are you but... You really need to take a break."
"Aroon, I can't just take a break." She replies instantly, while she picks up a pen and scribbles notes on the whiteboard. "We were so close to failure, one wrong move could have killed us and—"
Before she can even finish, Aroon started to wrap his arms around her from behind, even kissing the top of her head. "Lotus, Flower, Love— Can you please take a break? This is from your boyfriend, not your boss." He makes a playful comment before kissing her again, only making her fluster even more.
"I can't." She places the whiteboard marker down, her voice getting lower. "As much as I want to have some time with you outside of this life we're in, I want to make sure everyone turns out okay. Maybe then, we can act like how you want us to be."
He only hums softly before ruffling her hair. "Fair, but just so you know, the moment when we go to our goal, I'm going to pretend to fall in love with you again. As if everything was normal. Like we're not in this world." He laughs, but it was a bit sad. "I really want to give you the world, but I can't do that just yet. But I promise I will."
She stood there quiet for a while, not minding his arms that wrapped around her or how he kissed her a few times by the head or the ear. "Aroon..." She says his codename and he stops kissing her.
"You're not just my planner, flower. You're the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with! Don't let papers and pens determine your life." He says, before grinning. "So what do you say, are you going to rest now and accept a cuddle while sleeping?"
"I would love that..." She finally responds and he laughs before kissing her again. "But let me at least finish this final note, okay?"
"Okay, flower- make sure to do it soon, I'm going to suffer every second without you." He kissed her ear again and she only snapped back to reality once he stopped hugging her from behind.
"Kao— I mean, Aroon! Don't sweet talk me." She huffs, her face getting redder but he only laughs before turning her around.
"Going to call me by my first name? Go ahead, I like how it rolls off your tongue, love."
Before she could reply, her face only flustered even more, and she pushed Aroon away, only to get a chuckle from him.
"You didn't need to treat me that harshly."
"It's not you, it's him." She raises her hand to point at the ginger, who only stood there alone. "Death is here."
Death jumped up, before turning around to see that Eizan and Nene already left, only leaving him to rot by the hands of Aroon, one of the strongest members there.
"Haha, I hope you had a—"
"Death, I'm counting up to three for you to leave." Aroon warns, before loading his gun. "Or you'll be my target practice for today."
It was a normal day, people believed— but no, there was something way beyond that, they just didn't realize it.