Untitled
The cast you placed on my bruised and broken body is now choking me with the broken promises and poison you called love.
I etched you into my heart with a scalpel and lasered your name onto my bones.
I breathed you in like you were smoke and instead of breathing you out you lingered in my lungs until you burned them.
I tattooed your name on my body thinking you would never leave and now when I shower I can't help, but rub my skin raw trying to erase the words you left on my soul.
And if I could I would perform open heart surgery and rearrange my cardiac muscles in the hopes that it would end up feeling whole again. and if I could I would rip out your larynx so I would never have to hear you say "I love you" to another girl
and if this was Back To The Future I would tell 18 year old me to say no to going over to your house that day.
and if this was Back To The Future I would go into the inevitable to see if not fighting with you would've helped us survive.
You weren't just some t-shirt that I outgrew in fact I shrunk and you were able to fit even better on me.
In this case Rudy Francisco is wrong because you can bring a metaphor to a gunfight, but I am just choosing not to because I don't want to riddle you with bullets that'll scar your soul.
And even though I sound like Rudy and the Joker, I am going to ask, Do you wanna know how I got these scars? I got them when you tore yourself out of my soul and swallowed me whole. I got them when I had to try and stitch myself back up, but I am not a surgeon, I am not a doctor, I am just a human and the stitches didn't hold, they did not stay. I got them when you decided that it was okay to leave like this was an expiration date. I got them when you threw me away.
I hate you, but I miss you, and I love you and it's not fair that you fed me poison when I fed you love. and I'm sorry that I fed you love when I should've fed you poison instead.
- kcg