#kerranicole

[kerra-nicole]

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[kerra-nicole]

Their was a time that I looked up to you

I though you were magnificent

Beautifully flawless

Then mom died

You turned into someone I didn't want to be anymore

You put yourself above everyone else

We needed you, I needed you

You chose to go to little rock with family for a vacation

Instead of your mom's funeral

I don't see how you blame me.

I didn't make you choose.

Why blame me?

[kerra-nicole]

I’m not all about that freaky shit

The licking and choking

The getting it rougher, harder

I like my sex with a little sugar

Sweet like candy

[kerra-nicole]

I feel broken. I don't like being blamed for things I have no control over. You now shut me out of your life.

Well, that's not fair.

I didn't tell you to not show up. We needed you there. Our mom died. I saw her. Glossy open white eyes, mouth open. Cold. This image will be forever in my head.

And there you are not giving a shit. How dare you.

Blaming me for a choice that you made.

I didn't hold a gun to your head, to make the wrong decision.

You did that all on your own. You made the wrong decision and you have to live with it. Stop blaming your little sister. Saying I did it intentionally. I didn't kill mom. I didn't plan the funeral.

But here is the gun. Its in my hand now.

Boom!

[kerra-nicole]

Mom died

You lied

Now I'm atrocious

[kerra-nicole]

I don't have time.

Time to write

to let it all out

Get my anger written down

Why do I hold on to the anger

Let it build inside

Until I explode

and get that feeling

The feeling of wanting to die

[kerra-nicole]

The monsters inside me are screaming louder than ever before

My doctor upped my dosage again

They know I'm trying to shut them up

They are fighting back

I feel as if I being torn in half

[kerra-nicole]

Opening up to someone you love

Giving them a piece of who you are

Praying that they don't run

After finding out how screwed up you truly are