#kestag

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i know i can never piss off kelsey because i know shell just crack open the bible and i just cant compete with that. ive already been defeated

rupsha recognises a universal truth

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If the boob fits, cup it.

my girlfriend

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]Ashpea: An average person in Russia consumes 2.5 kilos of mayonnaise per one year. In any Russian household you can find the sauce that is applied on bread, used as a dressing for the salads, put on roasted chicken, mixed with pasta, and even added to plain rice! Russians love mayonnaise.

Ashpea: RUSSIA WHAT THE FUCK

Micetta: "these devilled eggs ain't worth a crap. she didn't use duke's mayonnaise..."

Micetta: CUE PURSED LIPS AND SHAKING HEADS

Ashpea: ONLY DUKE'S, hellman's in a pinch

BUT DUKES

Ashpea: BUT RUSSIA

Ashpea:

Ashpea: WHAT THE FRUCKKK

Ashpea:

Micetta: ...lord

Micetta: ivan would be in mayo heaven down here

Micetta: "you put mayonnaise with the egg."

"...yes?"

"Mayonnaise. With. The egg."

"...yyyes?"

Micetta A CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS

Ashpea: he opens up any given southern fridge

Ashpea: the BJ's turbo size of duke's can be found

Ashpea: (flag:ru) chorus of russian angels in the distance

Micetta: (flag:ru) I never loved you before this moment.

Micetta:(flag:us) um

Micetta:(flag:ru) How you say...no homo.

Micetta:(flag:us) um.

Micetta:(flag:ru) /ENTHUSIASTICALLY KISSES EACH CHEEK AND THEN PERUSES THE MAYONNAISE AISLE

Micetta:(flag:us) UM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[borschtbowlingclub]

aph scotland is literally a giant slightly shaven bear with a toolbox 

in his spare time he enjoys long hikes in the highlands at ungodly times in the morning and sharing an entire pack of beer while he fixes his pos car (because it works JUST FINE WE'RE NOT GIVING UP ON U BERTHA) and also falling asleep listening to the archers while his Dumb Dog he claims to hate curls up on his stomach and eats his last box of jammy dodgers

he gets drunk on fridays and ends up in a field at 2 am playing footie with his bar mates

i hate aph scotland take him away from me 

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dad n i did some flight checkin uwu

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thank u buns for the encouragement ;_;!!!! kisses

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kessey if i am not allowed to bring my dog i hereby turn in my cat-owning privilege into a sugar glider-owning privilege

[borschtbowlingclub]

avocados, tomatoes, and feta in a basalmic vinaigrette B)