Jul 23
SIXTY NINE DAYS TIL FLYERS HOCKEY
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Romania
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from France
SIXTY NINE DAYS TIL FLYERS HOCKEY
Gonna get a little, tiny deep here for a second!
So I’ve been listening to this podcast called “Sweet Boys” with Garrett Watts and Andrew Siwicki, who are unbelievably wholesome and real and their friendship energy feeds every crevice of my soul... That is an entire story in itself...
Anyway, it’s SUPER new with only 3 episodes out so far, but in the latest episode that came out yesterday, they started discussing the obsession with numbers and validation, and it really hit close to home for me. They talked about how they aren’t looking at the number of listens/views when they make episodes- they are just making the episodes because they want to, and you can clearly tell that they are having an absolute blast doing it, and the number of views or listens isn’t going to impact the amount of fun they are having.
I didn’t think I would take that so deeply, but as a content creator, even if horribly inconsistent (thanks mental health), it hit different. I would say my unexplained hiatuses are 50% from my mental health checking out on me and 50% from my validation meter not being fulfilled how I apparently needed it filled after posting a fic. (I know that equals 100% already, but I’m still going to go over that number and say a pretty decent sized portion is also because of work exhaustion because that’s a thing.)
Anyway, I want to try and get to a point where I’m creating content because I WANT to, not because of my follower count, not because of my need for validation, etc. I just want to enjoy it? And, I’m not saying I don’t- I definitely LOVE writing. I just get trapped in this headspace where, if a fic I spend time on doesn’t perform well, I get angry and defeated and I lose the want to write because I’m kind of like “what’s the point?”
I hope all of the content creators out there are creating stuff because they want to and because they are having so much fun doing so! And I hope to combine with that awesome energy soon!
Anyway, I adore all of you, and I hope to be coming back with semi regular content soon! I just wanted to share this with you all!
quentin: you’d do that for me?
eliot: id do a lot of things to you
quentin: f-for me
eliot: yeah that too
kyle gaz garrick being chained and acting like a dog… mhm… right.
really sorry i came in here and dropped writing bombs and then BAM i left
gonna be a little vulnerable because it's my blog and fuck it all to hell
I'm glad I had a friend go through our friend's suicide with. it sounds fucking horrible, it is I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but she held me up. she is singlehandedly the reason I was able to make it through the year without killing myself. and now, when I have my own difficult days and I feel like pulling the plug on everything I think about her. because we went through the hell that was that loss together. I think about her and how I can't do that to her. everyone else would be fine, they'd move on with their lives but I can't do that to her. I can't have her bury another friend like that. so I'm thankful on nights like tonight. thankful we had each other to lean on. thankful we've been friends for seven years now. thankful we talk. thankful we cried. thankful she's with me through it all. genuinely would not be standing here without her
Jack Abbot is so goddamn pasty I've come to my senses
patater with hanahaki disease?