I watched His Last Vow, and, well..... here are my thoughts again
Quick thing before we start: I choose HLV because it is one of my favourite episodes, and what I feel is one of the best shot episodes. Usually, I can't make it to the end of it because I know what is going to happen and I can't stomach it. Anyway, enjoy my little angst-filled monologue!!!
• Uggggghhhhhh Magnussen is so creepy even to start with
• Quick question: why the fuck does he have "porn preference" in his little file?? Creepy, dude. Real creepy
• I hate Magnussen with a passion but ngl his house is pretty bomb
• Why has a got a statue of a knight on an ostrich, and why does the camera focus on it? Kinda random XD
• Clever how they never show him going down the stairs the storeroom. IMPORTANT LATER ON
• Lady Magnussen when she sees Magnussen: *quietly* what the fuck
• "She looked delicious" "yum-yum": EEUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH
• "I have a condition": is that condition.... being a creepy weirdo???
• HEY SHE MAY BE AN OLD LADY BUT SHE'S A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN SO SHUT THE FUCK UP MAGNUSSEN
• "This isn't blackmail it is.... ownership": uhhhhhh, pretty sure it's blackmail mate
• I'M SORRY BUT WE DON'T JUST LICK PEOPLE'S FACES, WHO WERE YOU RAISED BY DUDE
• The driver knowing something's up: we stan a king
• BAKER STREET YEAAAAAH BITCHES
• The intro mussssiiiiiccccc: it will now be stuck in my head for days XD
• When you miss your bestie: :(
• *doesn't know what to do* *makes tea*
• "He the drugs one?" "Nicely put John"
• "Who's Sherlock Holmes" "See, that does happen"
• I think John feels bad for snapping at her XD
• "THERE IS NOTHING THE MATTER WITH ME. Imagine I said that without shouting": me 24/7
• Dude we know you tryna look sexy but the tyre lever XD
• "It is a tiny bit sexy" "I know": *is forcefully reminded of Boyle screaming "later sluts"*
• "I'm not just browsing": MATE IT'S NOT BLOODY ARGOS LOL
• Why is John so fucking cocky? Like we get you're an adrenaline junkie but Jesus XD
• JOHN BAMF WATSON IS HERE GUYS
• "Nope, just used to a better class of criminal": truth
• "Arse end of the universe with the scum of the earth": Jooooohn be nice
• Sherlock just so casual like " Oh HIIIII"
• "They're havin' a fight": Oh, like..... a married couple....?
• "WEll NoT nOW": we stan a queen XD
• "Alright Shezza?": *John and Mary Watson, Mycroft, Mrs Hudson, Molly and NSY have joined the chat*
• MOLLY YAAAAAAAS QUEEN PUT HIM IN HIS FACE
• They are so concerned and Sherlock can't see it and I CAN'T
• "Just some guy" Sherlock: JOHN YOU DIDN'T *is suddenly more in love than ever*
• Sherlock: *hears what he sounds like* *ROLLS EYES*
• Billy knows what's going ON
• "Hang on, weren't there other people?"
• "I've got Mrs Hudson on semi-permanent mute"
• "Why do you do that": IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU
• "Cross-dressing may have been a wiser path for you": Mycroft your uncle was a bloody QUEEN
• The mardy lil "I'm just gonna sit in this chair"
• MYCROFT STOP TATTLING ON YOUR BROTHER
• Also the Holmes parents line dance: I feel like this fact is super underrated XD
• "Just look frightened and. Scuttle": I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
• "I think we'd both find that embarrassing": THE FACT THIS WAS AN IMPROVISATION MARTIN IS SUCH A FAB ACTOR
• "Okay, I'll let you know if I notice"
• "Don't appall me when I'm high": genuinely one of my favourite lines of the entire series
• "God no. Trying to recruit you": Sherlock knows his John so weeeeelllll
• "Stay out of my bedroom" John: *immediately goes for the bedroom*
• "Sherl.....": John is having a fucking field day with the nicknames
• John's confused little face XD XD
• "You have a girlfriend" "Yes I have" *JOHN WATSON CANNOT COMPUTE*
• Damn they're starting with the aquarium shit early
• "You got that from a book" "Everyone got that from a book"
• I'm sorry but Sherlock Holmes acting straight it the weirdest thing EVER
• "Maybe I will....": OH GOD. If she knows "what he's really like" (ie gay), then she also knows how much he loves John (she was at the wedding), so she's basically saying "I'll tell him you're in love with him"
• John: OH YES. THIS. THIS IS SOME NICE CEILING. MMM. GOOD CEILING
• John is so hung up on dinner XD
• "With wine.... and sitting....": I love the idea that when Sherlock eats, he just walks around like munching on shit. Like John used to get out of the shower and when he opened the bathroom door Sherlock would be standing there rocking on his heels eating a scotch egg XD
• "It's in the fridge, it kept ringing": me as an adult
• John just being so armed
• OH GOD SHERLOCK YOU'RE SO DAMAGED LIKE SO MANY PRESSURE POINTS
• BITCH DON'T BRING UP REDBEARD
• Oi listen Magnussen you little bitch
• Shut UP Magnussen: as a Brit I cannot condone what the fuck he's saying. I AM A PROUD BRIT
• WHYYYYYYY ARE YOU PEEING IN THE FUCKING FIREPLACE: this is why Moriarty was better, the sweetie had manners
• "How do you know his schedule?" "Because I do"
• The fact that Sherlock's checked with Mary if John is available XD
• CAM news: OMG THE CAM LETTER FROM S3E2, it makes sense nowwww
• Sherlock is so good at pick-pocketing
• "...your head kicked in." "Do we really need so much colour?" "It passes the time"
• I'M SORRY HIS CUTE LIL FACE WITH THE RING BOOOXXXXX
• I am fully convinced Sherlock was pretending Janine was John when he made the proposal
• SHERLOCK YOU CAN'T GET ENGAGED TO BREAK INTO A FUCKING OFFICE
• SHERLLL BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU IS NOT HUMAN ERROR, PLS GET SOME SELF ESTEEM
• "Bit rude, I just proposed to her"
• Sherlock immediately knows something's going on
• "...white supremacist so who cares?": SHERLOCK YAAAAS
• "During our own burglary" aka "really u idiot"
• The fact he immediately dismisses Mary: HE'S SO SWEET HE DOESN'T WANT TO RUIN JOHN'S HAPPINESS
• OH MY GOD THE REVEAAAAAAAAAL
• That moment when he realised. He just realises. The deductions he ignored: they could have helped her
• NO MARY YOU SHOT HIM WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
• I'M SORRY BUT SAYING YOU'RE SORRY DOESN'T RIGHT THIS
• The sirens: again, as I said, the way this episode is made is incredible
• People often remark on who turns up in his mind palace: I totally agree with the idea that the others are his heart, "and you should never let it rule your head"
• SHERLOCK CALLING HIMSELF STUPID IN HIS MIND PALACE OH SWEETIE NO
• The fact Anderson is there tho
• THE FACT THAT EVEN THE FLOWERS TILT JESUS THE DETAIL
• "Don't go into shock, obviously": woooooooow, thanks Mycroft
• Oh Redbeard, the sweet little dog: "They're putting me down too now"
• Oh come on, he was totally looking for John's room when he ran into Mary
• You don't understand: I actually can't watch this scene. It freaks me out so much. It's so sad, and the acting is SO GOOD.
• "Pain. Heartbreak. Loss. Death.": I'm sorry, but isn't that everything Sherlock's been through with John almost?
• Magnussen: dude I ain't telling you who shot him
• "It's raining. It's pouring. Sherlock, is boring. I'm laughing. I'm crying. Sherlock, is dying": JESUS THIS SONG
• "Mrs Hudson will cry. And mummy and daddy will cry. And the woman will cry. And John will cry buckets and buckets. It's him I worry about the most. That wife..... John Watson is definitely in danger": THE FACT THAT THAT MAKES HIM COME BACK; I'm sorry but how can you deny Johnlock after that?? He literally COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD for John Watson. Also, note how he misses off Greg and Molly and Mycroft. He thinks they don't care but they do. They care so much, Sherlock.
• "Oh you're not getting better are you?"
• MARY STOP ACTING ALL FUCKING INNOCENT YOU FUCKING SHOT HIM
• "I'm buying a cottage": I mean why not
• The fact that they're fine with each other after insulting each other XD
• I maintain that Janine is Moriarty's secret sister
• "I have an interview with The One Show and I haven't made it up yet"
• "I know what kind of man you are. We could have been friends": AGAIN she totally knows he's gay
• The fact he's self-punishing by turning the morphine down MY BABY
• The fact Greg just wants a video XD: I still want a Special Features on one of the DVDs of "videos from Greg Lestrade's phone"
• Of COURSE Sherlock's broken out, what else were you expecting John?
• Mycroft's little hand gestures like "off you go peasant": we know you love Greg really Myc
• "...stalked him one night" "foLLOWED"
• YOU, JOHN. HE'S PROTECTING YOU YOU DIPSHIT
• The fact Sherlock went back to Baker Street, BLEEDING INTERNALLY, to put John's chair back <3<3<3
• "A façade. Remind you of anyone?"
• Of course you can't Sherlock XD
• The fact he won the house in a card game with a cannibal XD
• I love this scene. Everything just suddenly makes sense. Everything she's said suddenly has a different meaning
• "You were very slow": BECAUSE HE WAS IGNORING THE WARNING SIGNS SO HE DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET JOHN
• "Even Scotland Yard can get somewhere with that"
• I feel like Sherlock had a little bit of a panic when she pulled the gun out, because he KNOWS that John is sitting there and he can't lose John Watson
• She loves John but he loves John too.... too much man, too much
• She can barely turn: the fact she knows that she may have just lost John forever
• YAAAAS WE'RE AT THE HOLMES' GUYS
• "How is it only 2 o'clock, I am in agony"
• "Is this your laptop, Mycie?" "Upon which depends the security of the free world, yes, and you've got potatoes on it"
• "Am I happy, I haven't noticed?" *gets hit with cracker*
• MRS HOLMES WE STAN A QUEEN
• "Someone's put a bullet in my boy and if I ever find out who I will turn absolutely monstrous": *takes tea to said shooter*
• When the dad is the only sane one XD
• I think even Sherlock's dad can see how much his son is in love with John
• I'm sorry but the entirety of the first bit at the Holmes': I STAN IT GUYS
• "What exactly is the point of you!?"
• "What's going on" "Bloody good question": me in physics
• Jesus Mrs Hudson is right Sherlock does look bloody awful
• "...that's me by the way, hello": HE'S SO PROUD AND IT'S SO SWEET
• "IT WAS MY HUSBAND'S CARTEL, I was just typing"
• The fact he tells him to be calm: Sherlock KNOWS that he needs to calm John down to get this sorted out
• Mary, stop being sarcy with him he's tryna sort it out
• "Because you won't love me when you've finished, and I don't want to see that happen": I mean she's not my favourite but I still feel so sorry for her
• "Look at you two: you should've got married": Sherlock: OH BABY NOT MY GAY ASS
• See, Sherlock SAYS that the reason Mary didn't kill him was because John would be part of the murder investigation, but I think it's because she's already seen what Sherlock's death would do to John: she's seen him crying at the grave, seen him drunk and screaming for Sherlock to come back, seen him unable to even walk past St Barts without seeing Sherlock hitting the ground over and over and over again, and she knows she can't do that to him again
• "She shot you" "ehhhhh mixed messages"
• "The problems are your past are your business. The problems of your future are my privilege": GET YOURSELF A MAN LIKE JOHN WATSON
• "You can mow the sodding lawn from now on": the fact John uses his wife's secret identity to get out of chores is such a mood XD
• When your mother catches you smoking: Mycroft: nope wasn't me Sherlock: *immediately blames his brother*
• "Your loss would break my heart" "what the HELL am I supposed to say to that": brotherly feeeeeeeeeeeels
• "Go and have some more": AWWW YOU LOVE HIM REALLY
• Dr Watson voice is baaaack
• Awwww at least he checks they're all still breathing XD
• "You can imagine the Christmas dinners".... GUYS THE OMENS CAME TRUE
• I love the idea that Sherlock just waltzed into Angelo's like "yo can I have a table", and Angelo DIDN'T EVEN QUESTION what he was wearing or the fact he was hooked up to morphine, just said "yoooo, I got your table sorted" and brought him food XD
• The constant flashbacks in this episode are so effective, cos they really bloody fit in
• "My brother": *literally delivers a drugged Mycroft all wrapped up with a little bow on top* "WELL I DIDN'T LIE"
• "Oh yeah we could be imprisoned for high treason btw": Sherlock stop you idiot
• "WHY WOULD I BRING MY GUN!?!!?!?!" "Coat pocket?" "YES"
• "But look how you care about John Watson": even MAGNUSSEN knows guys
• Awwwww Mycroft's pressure point is Sherlock, that's kinda sweet
• You've gotta admit Magnussen's logic is pretty sound
• "I enjoy it": yeah but you're a sadistic maniac, mate, you don't enjoy normal things
• He must have half the fucking Eden Project in his house XD
• Ooooo THE VAULTS ARE A MIND PALACE: big reveaaaaaaaaaal
• Sherlock's little look down: it's as if he's chastising himself, telling himself he should have know
• "I don't understand" "You should put that on a t-shirt": JOHN WATSON T-SHIRT SAGA #2, PART 1
• "Sherlock do we have a plan?" *silence*
• "I still don't understand" "And there's the back of the t-shirt": JOHN WATSON T-SHIRT SAGA #2, PART 2
• When Magnussen makes John let him flick his face: Sherlock can't even WATCH. He's just standing there, staring at the floor, still questioning why he didn't see it
• I mean I'm sorry but the murderous little glint in Sherlock's eyes when Magnussen is flicking John: he knows there's nothing he can do, but then he also knows what he's about to do. And he knows that John is going to hate it, but it's the only way to keep Mary safe
• THE LOVING LOOK AT JOHN JESUS CHRIST I CAN'T
• "MERRY CHRISTMAS" *bang*: JESUS SHERLOCK NO
• Mycroft sounds so panicked, like "no please don't shoot him"
• "Tell her she's safe now": THEN. That was the moment John realised. The moment he realised who he was really in love with
• All Mycroft can see is his crying, upset and scared little brother AND I CAN'T
• "You know what happened to the other one": OOOOOOO
• "There is no prison where we can incarcerate Sherlock without him causing a riot on a daily basis": dis be true guys
• SHERLOCK MAKES MARY LOOK AFTER JOHN I CAAAAAAN'T
• The fact that all acceptingly walk away, like they know what Sherlock is gonna try to do
• "The game is never over, John. There are just new players": SHERL STOP
• "6 months, my brother estimates. He's never wrong": he KNOWS he's gonna die
• The fact he can't even tell John just shows something, doesn't it
• "John there's something I need to say. Something I've always meant to say but never have. Since it's unlikely that we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now": we all wanted it. We all wanted him to say it. Even JOHN had the hopeful little look in his eyes....
• "Sherlock is actually a girl's name": BUT HE CHICKENS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND. You can just see the disappointment and upset in his face, even on the plane, knowing that he may not see John again and John still doesn't know
• "Did you miss me?": MORIARTY YES WE STAN A QUEEN
• "You're needed": the lil panic cos he knows his OD isn't gonna work
• "Who needs me" "....England": yeah, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are screwed XD