#kirism

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snail-pace cleaning panels again like it didnt take me a month last time i made an edit but only because for every pariging friend i collect i grow stronger

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i never do valentines for them so here's an evil wip instead

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mostly just laying the groundwork for art of them in the future but here are longhi/theta + borkie and morena thoughts and theories. (that togashi can destroy within the span of 2 panels). pardon awkward writing also i havent reread, sorry, inaccuracies may abound. 🚽

initial thought: i like to think of them like a gradient of extremes. [indifference / just doing my job, man] borksen > theta > longhi > morena [revenge by any means necessary]

the main crux of longhi/theta 's conflict, in my head, is... i thought that it'd be cool for theta to not-so-willingly team-up with morena to be able to "deal" with tserri (for good). and possibly could be related to protecting or saving borksen (im. interested in what relationship theta and borksen have).

and regardless if morena is beyond's child uhh [conjuring excuses] that longhi would specifically suspect Morena to be the child is exactly why theta has to intervene / already is intervening with longhi's wishes and revenge plot. whether wanting to or not. surely theta could talk her out of it but what if the conditions dont allow for it. what if. longhi is hard-headed. i think about her nen ability a lot.

I'd imagine longhi & theta to have been acquaintances during their time at the military academy,,, not exactly friends, but two ppl who know nen (longhi since birth essentially, theta..... pariston levels of we've yet to know ANYTHING abt her nen), in so that their (controlled) aura or general presumed/earned superiority is something that stands out to each other. they keep close eyes on e/o and, through random run-ins, began to hung out noncommittally. sort of on/off friendship. that theta may have been fond of being so easy to enter/exit and like nothing had changed, theta herself is a bit reserved --

(I think whatever friendship she may have had w/ borksen (during academy days) for Bork to have known smth abt Nen (?), may have been accidental? or like borksen "adopted" her into her circle? theta's a little awkward. NOT LIKE INTROVERTED,... just very business as usual. i mean. i can see their friendship being the result of borksen just being a natural social butterfly. )

--i would die for longhi to explicitly NOT CARE about this history, for theta to feel somewhat hurt ( like it wasnt ever that serious. but still wonder why it hurts? yuri?). bc longhi's commitment to her goal ever since she understood she was a cog in beyond's plans, are strong....?! which i also LOVEEEE BADDDDD. the possibility that she'd relate to morena's frustratingly grand devotion to fulfill her plans too, relating to the person she plans to (has to) kill. and so related in a opposing force, admiring your enemy way. i want that part of morena to impact Longhi, and for longhi to also come across so strong that it leaves a positive impression on morena. possibly wishing the conditions had been different, that they had met in a different scenario. morena's gay and lonely, guys.

arhh the lack of more borksen here is because im still chewing her and i want to grasp both her fear of morena (and morena's "initiation"... x_x ) as well as strong desire to SOMEHOW, SOMEHOW CHANGE MORENAS MIND... WHETHER IT BE FOR HER OWN SAFETY... OR clearly bcs she feels bad for morena, or moreso morena's fatalism? do or die. destruction. A conundrum, certainly.

...

and for funsies, a crude not-diagram of dynamics:

morena >>> theta (LIKES HER A LOT) theta > morena (the interest is only somewhat reciprocated) (cooperative duo)

theta >> longhi longhi > theta (i initially thought it'd be cute if longhi had great interest in getting to know theta whilst in the academy but theta again, reserved and almost a bit disinterested. The stress theta endures on the whale, a familiar face & feelings, and suddenly that dynamic is flipped. mama.) (duo w/ history)

borksen >>> theta (theta's rlly fun to her AWEEE LIKE WHYY ARE YOU BRINGING HER UP TO YOUR MILITARY PEERS AS IF SHOWING OFF??? KYAAA) theta >> borksen (two bros who are gorls)

longhi >> borksen (DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM) borksen > longhi (THEY'RE SO CUTE HUFFF) (awkward "oomf of my oomf")

morena >>> longhi longhi >> morena ("ur a lot like me")

borksen > morena (complicated feelings ummm) morena >>>> borksen (she adores them all im gonna KMS) (we are irreversibly tangled in e/o's narrative)

ALSO, CONSIDER THE JESUS /JUDAS PARALLELS... SYMBOLISM?? (doesnt know wtf he's talking about)

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re: nightclub pariging -> consider pariging perreando

si tu me lo pides yo me porto bonito? okay man...

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lamenting all the pariging "match my freak" jokes that are unaware that the rest of tinashe's discography evokes so much pariging.... to me...! less jokey, i guess is the trade off :P

this 1 most of all:

and since i'm already here, toxic pariging by beloved bree runway

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s3 is leaning so hard into the yaoi but i have not lost focus ☝🏻 WHO IS SHE

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cheadle instruments: oboe, saxophone, contrabass

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i wrote a braindump about this long ago bcs mitochondrial dysfunction & having to conserve energy on a molecular level will always boggle me. a significant number of my friends have mecfs, some i havent heard from in over a year, some who are months offline though bedbound & online is all they can be. one of them used to be a known pariging artist from 2010s on here, whom i knew from a different fandom from even earlier... i only just properly met them 2 yrs ago and did not think we'd have more in common than a yaoi ship. it is good to learn.

to add, here's a creative writing / diary blog from a different friend who's on the very severe side of the scale & fighting to get legal help for disability benefits

note: this website isn’t minimal by design. I just don’t have the energy to make it look better. if you're a reader, journalist, or just a c