#kkgweek

[majormiles]

Kakashi/Gai in Boruto 106 for @kkgweek

[youth-no-jutsu]

HAPPY KAKAGAY WEEK!

remember to give your eternal rival an extra big smooch 

[trekkie-in-space]

[NS 421 - NS 219 - BO 111]

[depressedkakashihatake-fics]

Forgiveness

Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai

Kakagai Week Day 2- Prompt: Forgiveness

AU: Mafia Au

Edited by: @mireleth

Three days.

For three days Gai hadn’t said a single word to him. No ‘good mornings’ or ‘good nights’, nothing when Kakashi would try to talk to him about the new job that Shikaku had given him, and not even a ‘thank you’ when he brought Gai his favorite doughnut from the coffee shop he stopped at every morning.

Not a peep. It was starting to worry him. Gai always loved talking. Telling him stories about the things he did growing up with his dad, getting other people from the communities that they would visit to talk to him. It was Gai’s favorite pastime to get Kakashi to talk, or to at least fill in the silence between them as much as possible.

But ever since he had gotten back from taking care of some personal business, Gai had been silent.

As his partner finished making the trade that Shikaku had sent them to do, closing the small bag of money and tossing it over to Kakashi without even looking at him, Kakashi watched as a small smile tugged at the corner of Gai’s lips.

“It was good doing business with you,” he said with the same cheerful voice he used to talk to everyone. It didn’t matter if they were another member of Shikaku’s gang or someone whose arm he was about to break, Gai always kept that cheerful, happy voice of his. “Do try to tell your partners not to shoot at us. I think all of them would like to live through today.”

Well, that was certainly new. Gai usually wasn’t the one to throw threats around like that. He usually preferred to leave that particular job up to Kakashi. Maybe it was just another way to show his partner just how upset he was with him?

Seeing his partner turn his back to the other man, Kakashi moved to follow. His hand reached down to his side in a flash and unholstered his gun just as three figures sprang out into the open from their various hiding places all around the room. Within seconds, all three of them were dead on the ground, and for once Gai didn’t even flinch when the sound of gunfire echoed in the small room.

Something was definitely wrong, and he wasn’t sure he could wait around any longer to see if Gai would just ‘get over it’ like he originally hoped.

Holstering his weapon, he followed Gai out of the building and to the car that had brought them to the meet up location. It wasn’t preferable for him to have to talk to Gai about whatever was going on while there was another person driving them around, but it seemed like the only option he had. As soon as they got back to Shikaku’s mansion Gai was going to disappear into his room just as he had done the past two days.

He couldn’t let that happen.

As soon as he had crawled into the car behind Gai, Kakashi slammed the door shut behind him and reached out towards the controls for the small window between the back of the car, and the front where the driver was.

“Five minutes,” he assured the driver when he glared back at Kakashi. For some reason he was always so uneasy with the idea of Kakashi closing the window between them to have a personal conversation with Gai. Almost like he thought something was going to happen.

Not that Kakashi would say no if Gai decided to try and get him naked, but that didn’t seem likely in his current situation.

Once the driver had given him a quick nod of his head, Kakashi pushed down on the button and watched as the window between them closed. With that done he turned his attention to Gai.

“Are we going to talk yet?” Gai returned his question with a blank stare. “Come on, Gai. It has been three days. The fact that you’ve managed to keep quiet more than an hour is already impressive, are you going for a record?”

No response.

“Gai, whatever it is that has you so upset, spit it out,” he demanded with a low growl. “We can’t keep working together if you’re not even going to talk to me!”

Gai snapped. That was the only way Kakashi could describe it. The sudden shift from disinterest to pure rage when his eyes finally met Kakashi’s was terrifying. He had never seen Gai look so furious at someone.

“You want to talk about working together? You? The guy who left without so much as a word and disappeared for two weeks!?” Kakashi’s heart sank. Was that what this was all about? Did Gai think…

Giving his head a shake, Kakashi lowered his eyes. “That wasn’t your job to do. It was mine. I had to do it alone.”

“No, you didn’t,” Gai snarled. A deep, angry sound that Kakashi had never heard him make before. It terrified him. “I am your partner. I’m supposed to be by your side for every job. Even ones Shikaku doesn’t clear you for.”

“That’s not…” His hands came down to rest on his legs, fingers twisting in the soft black fabric of his pants. “It wasn’t a job, Gai. I didn’t get paid for it. No-one asked me to do it. It was something I had to do, alone.”

“No, you chose to do it alone,” Gai clarified, the anger still dripping in his words. “You decided that you couldn’t trust me by your side. That I’d just be in the way…”

“No!” The car came to a hard stop, and for once Kakashi was glad that he had chosen to wear his seatbelt or he would have gone flying into the other side of the vehicle. He was about to yell at the driver when the window between them began to open, but he wasn’t quick enough. Instead Gai leaned forward and smacked his hand down on the ‘close’ button, glaring at the driver as the window shut once more.

With their privacy returned to them, Kakashi took a deep breath and raised his eyes to meet Gai’s once more.

“I chose to go alone because it was my obligation,” he explained with a stern voice. “My closure. If I had brought you with me all I would have been doing is putting you in needless danger.”

“And if you had asked me I would have told you that I would gladly go with you to make sure you came out alive.” Kakashi tried to divert his gaze, but as soon as his eyes left Gai a hand came up to rest against his cheek. With a small push, Gai forced him to look back at those angry eyes. “Two weeks, Kakashi. Two weeks with no call, no messages. I thought you were…”

Anger shattered, exposing the sadness that Gai had been hiding. It broke Kakashi’s heart to see it. The usually bright and happy eyes looking at him with such a broken expression. The result of the damage he had done to his partner with his actions.

“If you had died out there and the last thing I had ever said to you was ‘don’t forget my doughnut’, I would never forgive myself.” Gai’s thumb started to stroke his cheek. The feeling managed to centre Kakashi in a moment that felt so broken and confusing. “I know why you went. I know why this was important to you, Kakashi. Shikaku told me everything.”

Of course he had. Shikaku had never been one to let Kakashi keep his secrets if he decided that someone needed to know about them, and Gai needed to know. Gai, who was clearly upset and broken by Kakashi’s choice to disappear without a trace, and who had no idea why.

“What would you say?” Kakashi asked, leaning into Gai’s hand and keeping his eyes focused on that beautiful calm face that he loved so much. “If you had known that I was going into a situation where I might not come out alive, but there was nothing you could do to stop me. What would you say, Gai? Stop? Please don’t? Would you try to tell me that it wasn’t worth it?”

Maybe he’d be right. Perhaps finding the man who had killed his father really wasn’t worth it. After all, it was just a hired hit man. Someone who was given money to take out the local Police Chief. He held no real power or influence.

It probably wasn’t worth it, but he had still felt the need to do it. To seek out some closure in making sure that the bastard never got to kill another person in front of their kid again. That no-one had to live the nightmare that continued to haunt him to this day.

“I love you.”

The words caught him off guard. Of all the things that Gai could have said to him at that moment, this was the last thing that he expected.

“If I had thought what I said to you that day two weeks ago might be my last words to you ever, I would have told you how much I love you. How amazing and strong I think you are, and how I would do anything to make sure you come home alive.”

For the first time in three days Kakashi finally understood why Gai was so angry at him. It wasn’t just about leaving without a word, or seemingly not having the trust in his partner to have his back. Those were certainly influences in Gai’s anger and he had made that much clear already, but the hurt that he displayed at the thought of never getting to see Kakashi again and knowing that he never got to say those words to him.

That spoke volumes.

Raising his hand, Kakashi rested it over Gai’s and gently curled his fingers around it. There wasn’t anything he could think of that would make it up to Gai. Something that would take away those two weeks of panic and worry that he must have experienced, not knowing what was going on. Whether Kakashi was alive or dead.

But that wasn’t what he wanted to say.

He wasn’t sorry for leaving. For keeping Gai safe both from danger and from having to see the bloodbath that Kakashi left behind. Gai wouldn’t have been able to handle everything that Kakashi had done during those two weeks of absence, and it wasn’t fair to expect him to just so that Kakashi had someone watching his back.

“I’m sorry.” The words were barely audible, but he could tell that Gai heard them from the way his face softened. “I’m sorry I took that away from you. That you had to think you’d never get to say those words to me.”

It probably wasn’t the apology that Gai was looking for, but his thumb still continued to gently graze along Kakashi’s cheek so he hadn’t said something terribly offensive.

Bringing Gai’s hand forward, Kakashi leaned in and gently pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. A silent apology that he hoped Gai heard. One that he wasn’t quite able to put into words.

I’m sorry for worrying you.

“Just don’t do it again, please,” Gai begged. “I don’t want to lose you, Kakashi.”

Thinking about it, Kakashi lowered his and Gai’s hands between them and slowly leaned in close, pressing a gentle kiss against Gai’s lips. “Never again.” A soft promise against Gai’s lips. “By the way,” he moved back, smiling softly when Gai looked at him with confusion, “I love you too.”

[majormiles]

“He’ll be a good rival for you.” | kkgweek day 4: found

[trekkie-in-space]

KakagaiWeek2020 - Day 7 - Free

Author : JackB

Rating : General Audience.

Words : 1298

Resume : Kakashi find Gai napping under the sun. Follow a lot of kisses.

Tag :  Post-War, fluff, teeth roting fluff, chronic pain, 8th gates recovery, long recovery, established relationship, kisses,

__

Finding Gai sprawled in bed in the middle of the day, peacefully asleep between warm blankets, would have been an excessively rare sight before the war. Taking nap had never been in Gai habit until now. One that will probably not stick too much around. Which is a shame. There’s just something beautiful to see Gai bathing in the warm light of the sun. His scars from the gates flaring of a lava red, bright and deep like fire where the sun ray touch him. His chest raise slowly to his slumber, calm and serene, for it is one of the rare time pain doesn’t bother him too much.

If Kakashi still had Obito’s sharingan, he would capture this moment and keep it forever in his mind. But all he can hope now is to be lucky enough to catch Gai taking a nap under the sun again.

It’s not like Gai likes them though, he feels like he misses the high of the day and it doesn’t help his mood. He doesn’t want to take a nap, but he doesn’t really have the choice. Recovering from the eighth gates cannot be done in a week, or ever actually, Tsunade had insisted on it. The strain put on his body had been so high that a full recovery is utterly impossible. But she assured the exhaustion shutting him down completely multiple time a day would wear off to more acceptable extent. Hopefully his chronic pain would follow the same pattern. But they are pretty much in undiscovered country there.

It’s been months and Gai slowly stabilized to two to three naps a day. Far from the start were staying awake for an hour was already a hardship. But even now he can only resist for so long before his body gives up. Gai feel it like a betrayal of the body he builds and trusted. He understands why it’s necessary, but accepting it is different. And it’s without counting the pain, when it reaches peaks, it’s not pretty. Gai has probably one of the best pain resistance in the whole village, but constant pain will take its tool on anybody.

Kakashi pull out of his contemplation and remove his uniform. He won’t be one to refuse rest when he can. His position as Hokage takes way too much time off him and finding a moment in his schedule is as rare as Gai taking naps before the war was. So he doesn’t hesitate to gently sneak under the blanket making sure not to wake up Gai. But as he snuggles close against him, Gai let out a little groan.

Kakashi is not sure if he is sorry to wake up Gai, sad to not being able to watch him peacefully sleep anymore or happy not to have to wait for him.

It’s with half-closed eyes that Gai turn to him, pulling Kakashi even closer as he gently wakes up.

“Slept well Turtle ?” He says quietly.

Gai mumble something inaudible, a smile on his lips.

‘He seems in a good mood.’ Kakashi notice.

“Your day ?” Gai asks in a breath as he open his eyes to Kakashi. His voice is hoarse from sleep.

“You know how it is, papers, reports, problems to fix, the routine.” Gai nod.

“You’re back pretty early, you’re just doing a pause on your schedule ?” He asks knowing Kakashi is more likely to finish his work when the sun is down.

Kakashi want to let out a little laugh when he feels Gai clung on him as if he’s going to disappear in a minute. Which could fairly be the case.

“No, finished everything for the day, outside of an emergency, I’m off.”

“Good.” Gai says with a grin.

He snuggles against his neck to give a little kiss and Kakashi immediately contract from the tickle it gives him. He can feel Gai hand on him, gently pushing his clothes away to reach the skin on his flank. His hand is warm and he can’t help but relax to the calloused touch he know and trust. Gai kiss his neck again.

“You’re in a great mood.” He can’t hide the surprise in his voice. It became rare for Gai to wake up in a good state of mind.

“Hm.”

“I’m curious has to why ?”

“It was my first nap of the day.”

“Really ?” It’s a first.

“Yeah, soon I won’t need any anymore.” Gai continue to mouth at him. Pushing the mask higher so he can kiss more skin. Kakashi flinch at the touch and Gai smile. Loving how sensitive his rival has always been.

“Don’t over do it though, it’s okay to take time.”

“Let’s not have this conversation again, haven’t we ? I should be able to do more.”

“For someone coming back from an ineluctable death I think you’re doing way enough.”

“Kakashi.. ” Gai’s right. It’s not time to argue about the subject, not when he can relax in Gai tender embrace.

“I know, I know.”

His laugh interrupt his words. Kakashi cower on himself to recover from the tickles Gai is determined to inflict on him. Gai doesn’t even have to touch him sometime, just his breath is enough to awake his nerve. The kisses never stop, anywhere he can reach is good enough and Kakashi gently wiggle in his arms.

“Who said you could kiss me like that ?”

“Me.”

“I don’t think I gave you the right.”

“I have all the right.” His teeth scrape at his skin, sending a shiver all the way to his legs. Kakashi makes a weird rattle as the word ‘do you now ?’ die in his throat. His teasing cut straight.

“I never said they were free.” His composure is rattled, but it passes.

“Hm ?”

“The kisses.”

“They are for me.”

“Actually they are very expensive, and your debt is pretty high and keep getting higher and higher.” Kakashi abandon himself in Gai embrace as he says this, his eye close for an instant but as he feels Gai retreat back he open it again. Almost outraged his rival decided to back up now.

“Then tell me Dear, how can I repay my debt ?” Kakashi’s chin shake at the nickname. It always makes him weak when Gai call him dear, especially with this particular voice.

Kakashi lower his mask.

“I think you know how.” He grin stupidly, even more as he sees Gai smile and close distance with him.

Kakashi can’t help but laugh when Gai reach his lips, but he quickly catch the drift and answer Gai passion with avidity and hunger. It feels like he hasn’t touched those lips for months when in fact they kissed that morning.

When they break apart Kakashi linger in the moment, eye closed and content. He can feel Gai eyes on him, scrutinizing him, noting every little wear out mark on his skin, every new wrinkle, every trail of exhaustion life left on him. Fingers brush his face, move to his temple and for a moment he is afraid to open his eye and look back.

There’s no word that can describe the way Gai look at him. If this is love then whatever other people have, it’s not it. If this is love, then he is the only one to have ever been loved.

At least, when Gai look at him that way, that’s what it feels like.

And for an instant he feels like crumbling under Gai’s gaze. It’s too much. He pushes the feeling away thought, then pull him back in his arms and roll them on the bed so he can be on top.

“I’m going for revenge.” He says before kissing Gai’s neck.

Gai’s laugh is a delight to his ears.

End.

[trekkie-in-space]

KakagaiWeek2020 - Day 1 - Burden

Author : JackB

Title : Taking the Burden

Rating : General Audience.

Words : 2392

Resume : Today it’s Kakashi inauguration as the new Hokage. It doesn’t matter Gai is one week out of the coma, he will attend.

Tag : Gai killed Madara AU, Injury, Long Recovery, Negotiation, talking about death, canon disabled characters, Kakashi sharp nose hc, a bit of angst and a bit of fluff

Prompt : Burden

__

It’s not that Gai was particularly stubborn, it’s just that he had a strong will and enough optimism to last two lifetimes. It also didn’t really matter he had been forbidden from attending Kakashi inauguration as the new Hokage. He would be there without fault.

If they didn’t want him to come, they should have wrapped it up when he was still in the coma. But now he was awake and no matter how weak and frail he felt he would still go. It didn’t matter if he barely managed to push his own wheelchair, it didn’t matter if he still couldn’t stay awake for more than a couple of hours. Those things were not important, it was just details in the end.

Getting out of the hospital without being seen by the doctors and nurses was a detail. None would risk Tsunade wrath if he dared quit the hospital and they would do everything to keep him in. Sneaking past them had been feasible, he wasn’t a jonin for nothing after all. Feasible, but exhausting in itself.

Going down the stairs on the backdoor of his level with his wheelchair had been a detail, and a terrible idea. No matter how slow and gentle he managed to pass each step, the shock would awaken pain in his whole body. He had opened the eight gates, he had defeated Madara. Enduring this pain was a detail, one that left him panting and shaking at the end, sure, but a detail nonetheless.

Pushing his wheelchair through the soft slope until he reached the Konoha’s great hall, had just been another step in his mission. One he wasn’t proud of as he barely had the strength to move. He guesses he underestimated his injuries. Thankfully an old man helped him to the main door. He was grateful for the bandage still covering his whole body and face because he would surely look pallid by now and this kind man would have rushed him back to the hospital in a second if he saw it.

The fresh air still felt good though. Beside the short five minutes walk Tsunade had given him once upon insistent request, he didn’t actually have the right to step a foot outside. Even opening the windows had been strictly controlled. It was all about ‘not getting germs from outside’ and ‘regulated environment for better healing’ or ‘not catching a cold from a damn breeze’. He had argued he was more resistant than that and they could cut him some slack. Tsunade had argued back that, for a fact, he wasn’t as resistant anymore and if he didn’t stop whining she would cut visit too. He didn’t argue for too long, because you just didn’t argue with Tsunade. Or, more likely, because he passed out pretty quickly from the excitement this argument had been. It was easier to think the former than to agree with the latter.

But those were still details in his book, not enough to stop him from attending Kakashi’s inauguration. His struggle might have made him late, but it also meant nobody was here to notice he shouldn’t be here and decide they would send him back to the hospital. Nor was there anyone to see him pathetically push his wheelchair or struggle to open absolutely every door he had to pass through. You would think opening a door in a wheelchair is not that difficult. Well, it is.

With the last shaking strength he had left he pushed himself inside the great hall. All were focused on the scene and didn’t pay attention to him. He didn’t have a great view because everybody was standing, but a kind shinobi noticed him and pushed him inside the crowd to a place that allowed him a better view. It wasn’t great, but at least he could see Tsunade-sama and Kakashi, which, in the end, is the only thing that mattered.

Despite being late the ceremony had barely begun. He focused all his attention on the scene, trying to ignore his shaking body and pushes back the dizziness. He felt awful. But well, the eight gates made it an art form to put everything else into perspective. Relatively nothing could ever be as awful as the eight gates, and if he had managed it back then it meant he could handle anything now.

It was a detail really, and after everything he had done to get there he wouldn’t collapse to exhaustion.

‘Everything I’ve done.’ Not so long ago attending this ceremony wouldn’t have been such a trouble.

___

Kakashi’s senses are awakened in an instant. He wrinkles his nose.

‘No.’

His focus shift entirely out of the ceremony.

‘He dared.’

He immediately walks to Tsunade giving her speech and touches her arm to catch her attention. She turn to him with a smile.

“Oh no, you agreed to take this burden off my hands, it’s too late to flee.. ” She whispers with a grin.

“Gai’s here !” He cut, his throat is dry and he nearly strangles while telling them. He can’t believe it. Tsunade immediately lose her smile.

“No, he can’t. He’s too weak.. ”

“Just picked up his scent.”

He can see her jaws clench and anger rouse in her eyes.

“Maito Gai !” Her tone is so terrifying that nearly everybody tense despite her anger not being directed at them. It’s just instinct.

Shizune in the front row is alert at the instant she hears the name, it’s the same for every medical-nin in the room. They all know about it, it doesn’t matter if they worked on it or not, Maito’s case is so peculiar and exceptional that it’s a recurrent talk among them, there’s so much to learn from it, and they all know he shouldn’t be here. At all.

The crowd is quick to disperse around Gai and in an instant both Tsunade and Kakashi are at his side.

“What are you doing h.. ”

“Why aren’t you in your hospital bed ?” Tsunade tone is severe. She grabbed Gai by the collar and lifted him a bit out of his chair.

Gai let out a whimper, he is barely holding, his limbs shaking to the effort. He closed his eyes an instant, feeling the dizziness come back.

‘No ! Fight it, fight it !’ He opens his eyes and stares back at Tsunade. He wants to give a small apologetic smile but can’t manage it.

At his side Kakashi and Shizune, who looked pissed off at first, are now entirely focused on calming Tsunade. He hates how people see him as fragile now. He is, so it’s fair, but he still doesn’t like it.

Tsunade ignore them and give Gai a small shake. He groans and let out a huff, suddenly afraid to receive a hit because he knows for a fact he wouldn’t be able to survive it. But he also knows she wouldn’t waste all the effort they made to keep him alive to anger.

“Why are you here ?” She knows the answer, they all know the answer, but she still needs to ask.

“Couldn’t miss the new Hokage inauguration.”

“I knew we should have done it before he woke up.” Shizune says with frustration in her voice. Clearly this has been a topic they talked about a lot.

Tsunade very carefully put in back in his chair and he can’t help but grab his chest and give a shaky breath as he settles the dizziness and nausea away. They are surrounded by all the medical-nin, all ready to intervene in case a problem occurs. But Gai would hate to take more of the spotlight than he already does. This had never been his intention. He wanted to be a quiet and proud witness.

“You know you can’t be out. Do you have any idea of the risk you’re taking ? How many infections you can get just by being there ? Your immune system is already on its knees and you’re just adding to it.” She scolds. Behind her Kakashi is weirdly silent, he is not sure if he is worried or angry and Gai doesn’t like it, maybe he is mad. Maybe he would rather not have him around. “Bring him back to his room.” She order a few medical-nin.

“No.” He stops them.

“No ?” Tsunade repeat with a chuckle. Her patience getting thin.

“No ! The risk is already taken, staying won’t add to it.” He stares at her, not backing down, despite the fact she is terrifying.

“He has a point.” Kakashi notice, taking all of Tsunade anger on himself in an instant, he takes a step back just to be careful.

“He doesn’t, risk only go higher the more he stays here. It’s out of question, he belongs in a hospital bed until I say so !” She turn to Gai. “Defeating Madara don’t give you all the right !”

“It was never about that.. ”

“If he stays, we can rush the ceremony.” Kakashi proposes in a whisper.

Tsunade soften to the idea. They both want it done and out of the way as fast as possible and Gai case could allow them to break protocol. Also even if Gai protest would be fruitless in his state, she knows psychology plays a lot in successful recovery. Sending him back to the hospital after doing so much to come could actually be more detrimental to his recovery than staying would be.

She gets at his level. “I will let you stay if you promise to follow all the rules and protocols I put for your recovery after that. Deal ?” She can see at his posture and his eyes how drained he is. He is only holding out of pure spite and pride and she has to salute his will.

He holds her stare and nod. Tsunade press her lips together, ‘if he can’t even talk anymore…’ this is a bad idea.

“Fine.” She agrees but her tone is dry and severe. “We finish it in ten minutes.” She turn to Gai one last time. “Don’t come to complain if you die.” Then walks to the scene.

Gai brace himself to follow her. He is not sure he has enough strength to push his wheelchair to the front row, but thankfully Shizune is the one to push him. Kakashi gently press his hand before stepping on the scene again.

They rush the ceremony without guilt and at the instant it’s official, Kakashi rush at his side, lift him out of his chair. Tsunade is just behind.

“Hold me.” He says. It’s just a whisper and it makes Gai shiver.

He does his best to cling on him and in an instant they are out of the room and back at the hospital where doctors and nurses rush to the room as well as Tsunade who followed them.

As Kakashi lay him on the bed, he wants to say something but only manage to collapse to the feeling of Kakashi’s warms leaving him.

When he awakes again, night has fallen, only a small warm light lit up the room. Kakashi is on a chair at his side, gently falling asleep but not quite sleeping yet. A move on his part immediately rouse him up.

“You took your time.” His voice is so gentle, but also scolding, Gai can’t help but smile.

“I’ve just been out a few hours.” He says back.

“Two days actually.”

“Oh !”

Kakashi sit on the bed and grab his hand. Silent reigns between them for a moment, Kakashi gentle caress is the only thing that smooth Gai worries.

“I wanted to apologize.”

“For nearly dying a second time ? Yes, you can !” Gai frown but ignore it.

“No, for interrupting your inauguration. I didn’t mean to steal the attention. You deserved to have a proper ceremony.”

“The ceremony was proper.”

“It was rushed.”

“Which is perfect for me, you know how much I hate when it goes on, and goes on, indefinitely. You saved me here. Gave me the perfect excuse.” Gai give a small chuckle. “Plus who says I want the attention ? Feel free to steal it all, always, I don’t want it.”

“I just really wanted to see you become Hokage. It’s an honor. Congratulations.”

“It’s a burden.”

“Burden.. You’re exaggerating.” He stirs up and try to straighten but fail. His body hurt. Kakashi seeing this gently push on his chest and mutter a ‘stay’ so quiet Gai barely discern it.

“I don’t want the position.”

“Too late you took it.” Kakashi chuckles,

“I know. Everybody tells me the same. Now I have to wait until Naruto is ready to take it from me.” They pause. “You should have been the one taking the post.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m serious, you would have made a wonderful Hokage.. ”

“No, not anymore.”

“What ?”

“I can’t protect the village anymore if need be. I would make a pitiful Hokage.”

“Gai.. ”

“I’m.. Useless now.” Kakashi frown.

“Ah yes, as if the one who killed Madara could ever be useless.” Gai stare at him. “I mean it. And if you think I’m not gonna make you useful, you’re mistaken. There is more you can offer than your fighting. But for that you have to stop being so kin on reaching your grave early. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad you came to see me, but I’m the one supposed to die first.”

“Since when you’re supposed to be the one dying first ?”

“Since always.”

“As if I will let it happen.”

“I’m serious, stop scaring me by taking absurd risk.”

“It was not absurd risk.”

“It absolutely was. Nobody else would have managed that, one week out of the coma and with the injuries you have, yet you did. Nobody even knows how you managed not to die from the effort itself.” Gai scoff. “I want you by my side.” His tone changed, softer and bit hurt. He bends to him and slowly pull down his mask. “I need you by my side.” He gently presses his lips on Gai’s. He’s shaking and Gai only truly realize how worried he has been.

“I will.” Kakashi press his forehead against his. “I will always stay by your side as long as you have me.”

End.

[trekkie-in-space]

KakagaiWeek2020 - Day 5 - Mirror

Author : JackB

Rating : General Audience

Words : 2436

Resume :  Kakashi come back from a mission exhausted, Gai come to pay him a visit and end up caring for him.

Tag :  exhaustion, fluff, trans kakashi, gender dysphoria, caring, body nudity, non-sexualized nudity, baths, haircut …, prosopagnosia, confusion, not established relationship but damn close, domestic, touch starved kakashi

___

There is always a moment after a long mission, when you finally step inside your home knowing you’re free of duty for the next hours or day, where the exhaustion accumulated just come crashing all at once. For Kakashi this time it’s right when he locks his door behind him. He wants to let himself fall on the floor but then he knows he won’t have the strength to get up. Or, at least, it would take too much effort to.

Instead we walk slowly through his modest flat and strip down from his uniform, placing all his weapons and gear exactly where they should be, cleaning is for tomorrow but it doesn’t mean his flat has to be a mess. As he unfolds his hitai-ate he can feel his hair fall on his face. They were already long when he left, almost time for him to cut them but the mission had started earlier and during the six weeks he spends on it he didn’t quite find the time to cut them during the mission. They are always required to leave as little trail as possible, leaving strand of hair somewhere doesn’t quite fit with that.

His hair annoys him. They are not that long but long enough to cause him problem.

He walks to his bathroom and the picture the mirror send him of himself is not one he likes. He pushes his mask down and rub some water on his face. His fingers pass on his week-old beard and he hates it too. Cleaning can really be impossible during missions, he feels filthy. And to be fair, he is.

He pushes his hair back and can make a pathetic excuse of a pony tail with his hand. Like that he looks like his father. He releases his hair and now he looks like a girl. The exact two things he doesn’t want to look like.

Normally he would take scissors and start cutting but he is too tired to even organize the step in his head to do that. He knows he needs a haircut, but to do it now feels impossibly exhausting. But it’s not like he’s going to go to bed without one. So he stays, staring at his reflection, as anger and disgust birth in his chest the more he looks at himself. He hates it, he hates what he sees. But all he can do is await for his own will to do what he needs to do. To erase the person he has in front of him and find himself again.

He looks at the bathtub.

Why does everything has to be exhausting ?

He hears his window being open but doesn’t have time to wonder who is intruding before he hears the joyful voice of Gai calling for him. “Kakashi ! You’re back !”

Gai, of course.

It’s been nearly two months since they last saw each other, of course, Gai would come at the instant the word of Kakashi return from his mission passed on to him.

“Where are you ?” He says as he close distance with the bathroom. Kakashi doesn’t bother informing Gai where he is, his flat isn’t big enough for one to get lost in it. As he see the door of the bathroom open, he doesn’t bother putting his mask back up. Gai is the only person he doesn’t mind seeing his face, mostly because Gai can’t remember his face anyway. It’s pretty harmless.

“You’re back.” He says fondly, his smile is wide and it gives Kakashi a certain sense of comfort he is definitely lacking right now.

“Not now Gai. I’m tired.” His tone is pathetically weak.

“Are you crying ?”

“No.” He has to check in the mirror to make sure.

It’s not a lie, he is not crying, he is just on the verge of it. It’s just exhaustion searching any outlet to let go, or maybe the disgust he has to see his own face that way. It doesn’t matter in the end. He is upset and he need to rest.

“What do you want ?”

“Just wanted to see you, I leave early tomorrow.” Kakashi nod. Watching his reflection again, he plays with his hair, up and down, up and down. Gai watch him silently.

“Look.” Kakashi turn to him and hold his hair in a ponytail. “I look like my father.” Then he releases his hair. “And now like a girl. My father.. A girl.” He sighs and mutter a ‘hate it’ under his breath.

Gai walk to him and gently grab his hair to fold them in a ponytail. They are dirty and greasy, full of dirt, sand and dried blood. The warm touch is almost too much for Kakashi, he wants to lean in Gai calloused hands but resist the urge.

“Even like that you don’t look like your father.”

“You don’t even know what my father looked like.”

“Fair, but still, you’re not even close to look like him.” He release Kakashi’s hair and they fall back on his face. “And you don’t look like a girl either.” Kakashi roll his eye. “You look like you.”

“I look like shit.”

“Yeah that too.”

He walks past Kakashi to open the water for the bathtub, the liquid flow abundantly, soon steam will cover the mirror.

“Now let’s get you out of this.. ” He grabs what is left of Kakashi uniform and push it up. Kakashi comply easily. Layers and layers are removed until the only thing left is Kakashi’s binder.

He removes it himself, sighing with ease and immediately stretching. He looks up to Gai, busy searching for his hair scissors and combs. Normally he wouldn’t remove his binder in front of people but Gai already saw him naked on more than one occasion and he is too tired and sore to care. Gai never made him feel like out of place even bare and raw like that. The bath is filling up nicely but not yet enough for him to sink in its warms.

“Sit here.” Gai guide before leaving. He comes back with two wooden boxes and pause as he sees Kakashi strip down from his pants. His eyes dart away more for privacy than anything else, but again, it’s not the first time he’d seen Kakashi naked and the snort he gives him is enough for Gai not to care much more. Even if it’s been some time, they’re pretty unbashul about their own nudity in front of each other. Gai never saw him for less than who he is, regardless of details.

“Brought us food before coming.” He hands his rival one of the boxes.

They start eating, Kakashi with more eagerness than he thought he had. He guesses he just want this out of the way.

Gai stay pretty silent, and Kakashi is grateful, because he doesn’t have much strength to talk nor to listen. The few words they exchange are more practical than friendly. ‘Are you injured ?’ ‘Do you need anything in particular ?’ ‘was the mission successful ?’

His answers are short, and he doesn’t bother to care about anything. Gai will tell him when the bath is ready.

__

Sinking in the water is an absolute pleasure. And when he emerges, head wet, Gai hand are already on him. Gently rubbing the soap in his hair until there are enough matter and foam to work. His hands are gentle yet firm, solid on his scalp and Kakashi swear he could sleep under them as Gai massage his scalp.

“I thought you came to see me, not take care of me ?”

Gai snort. “I came to see you and saw you could use an extra hand with how tired you are.”

“Hm.. ”

Gai thoroughly combs away the dirty and blood from Kakashi’s hair until they are clean. Then grab for the scissors. Kakashi is not too worried, Gai already cut his hair a few times, he knows what he likes. He’s more than ready to get rid of the extra hair, as Gai comb his hair straight he feels how long they are and he hates it.

“So, we go for a bowl cut then.. ”

“No !” Kakashi roar with a quick move back. A move of his hand and he splatter Gai with water. The latter explode in a big laugh.

“I’m kidding.”

“Don’t you dare touch my hair.”

“Don’t worry, your hair are too much of a mess. You could never rock a bowl cut as great as mine.” He says while moving his head a bit, letting his hair flow easily with the movement. Soft and supple as always. Gai is proud of himself and manage to drag a small laugh from Kakashi. He reaches for his hair and Gai let him. They’re like silk to the touch, not rough like his tend to be.

“What do you do to get them like that ?”

“It’s the power of youth !” He says brightly.

“And concretely ?”

“Youth and passion Kakashi you don’t need much more.”

“Then my hair is telling me I’m an old man.”

“Also your soap doesn’t fit for your hair.”

“Soap is soap.” Gai shake his head. “Soap is soap !”

“I will buy you soap and you will see.” Kakashi roll his eye. “Do you think your hair will get whiter when you grow old ?”

“If I grow old. And they are silver, not white. I already have a few white one though, it’s weird.” Gai chuckle and make a move of the hand for Kakashi to come closer. “No bowl cut !”

“No bowl cut.” Gai agree.

“Make it messy.”

“I know.”

Gai start cutting, careful to make it messy in a fitting kind of way. He slaps Kakashi’s hand away.

“Stop touching your hair when I’m cutting I need a global view.” Kakashi pout and barely stop, Gai finish on one side and he is already checking the length.

“Make it shorter.”

“Did I say I was finished ? I will come back to this side.”

“Waste of time.”

“Haircut need precision.”

“Yours do.”

“Turn around I will do the back.”

A few hair falls in the bath but mostly Gai pile them on the side. It’s getting messier and messier but it’s always like that with haircut and wet hair.

When both Gai and Kakashi seem satisfied Kakashi ask for a mirror, instead Gai bring back a razor and cream.

“I can do it myself.”

“You will cut yourself, you’re too tired.” He says while handling Kakashi’s face in his hand to cover his beard with cream. “Plus the mirror is covered with steam.”

He’s firm yet gentle and with an assured move start shaving his face. Careful around Kakashi’s mole, he makes quick work of it. Which is a shame because his calloused hands on his freshly shaved skin feel good. Kakashi touch his face and smile, it’s smooth just how he likes it. Gai is rubbing the mist out of the mirror and hand it to him.

“You like it ?”

“It’s good.” He yawn. “It’s better.”

Next, Gai grabs the soap and rub it against a washcloth. Dirt and blood come easily out of Kakashi after he’s been bathing in the hot water, both are washing out the filth, Kakashi mostly focused on the part he doesn’t want to be touched by someone else, like his chest. While Gai focus more on his back and arms and Kakashi can’t help but relax to his touch. During the mission being touched is dangerous, in the safety of the village and his home, it’s a rare delight.

He is not used to being touched, but sometime, like right now, he wishes he could have more of it.

Gai is about to leave Kakashi the washcloth so he can continue down but Kakashi grab his hand and plunge it in the bath, guiding it to his legs. Gai follow the movement easily and stop when he sense where it’s going. Feeling his restrain Kakashi whispers.

“What about this extra hand ? To help me.”

“It’s just that generally you prefers do it yourself.”

“Hm, just help me finish this quickly. I need to sleep.”

Gai comply, he is careful in his touch but Kakashi doesn’t seem to care regardless, helping a bit but mostly letting Gai do the job. It lead to much proximity between the two. And Kakashi realise how natural it feels. He lean closer watching Gai’s face with attention taken by the moment, he grabs Gai by the collar and press his lips against his. Gai turn his head away.

“I thought you liked me.” He is confused and bitter.

“I do more than just like you.” Gai emphasize the word ‘like’ with disdain and nearly disgust, as if just liking Kakashi is an insult.

“Then why ?”

“Because you’re exhausted, you don’t have a clear mind. It’s not the right time.”

“What if it’s the only time ?”

“What if it’s just now ? Your only chance. You will pass it ?” Gai doesn’t need long to think.

“Yes.”

“Well, I don’t know what else I expected.” Gai chuckle. “Still it’s not f..” Kakashi give a long yawn that leave him even more shut down than before. “Fun.” Gai passe his hand in his hair and he close his eye to the touch.

The rejection isn’t too bitter, because he already forgetting the moment and also because Gai never stop being loving toward him. He feels himself falling asleep and rest his head against his rival’s shoulder, helping a bit with the washing because the faster they finish the faster he can go to sleep.

He barely registers when he is pulled out of the water, he awakes an instant drying himself quickly as Gai gently dry his hair. A loose shirt and clean underwear later, he clung on Gai, pleading for his bed.

Gai guide him, resisting the need to lift him to be quicker. When he lay in him bed Kakashi doesn’t want to let go.

“Sleep with me.”

“You’re sure ?”

“Hm yes.”

“Alright, let go.”

“No sleep with me.”

“Give me a sec, I will join you.”

Gai strip down from his own uniform and borrow one of Kakashi loose shirt before joining him in bed. Kakashi, who refused to sleep until Gai joined him, promptly fall asleep against him.

When he awake the next day, Gai is already gone. How long will it be until they see each other again is pretty uncertain. But he looks forward to it.

End.