seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Israel
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
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seen from Germany
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
2018
Is in a few days time. As usual, January would always bring me light and a sense of hope. Eventhough it’s only for a short while, but,at least there’s light, at least I feel hope.
This time, I hope:
1. He will come home.
2. I will smile again.
3. We will be together again.
2017 has been good but empty. Very eventful but lonely. I have high hopes for 2018.
I’ll be positive. That’s my new year resolution. Have a great start, everyone.
xx.
Running Out Of You
It’s like I’m running out of everything all at once;
Memories to remember,
Emotions to feel,
Thoughts to voice out,
Words to say.
It’s like I have gone empty over the days.
and what am I left with?
Just a broken heart and endless tears.
December
We are almost reaching 2018. I am quite proud of how 2017 went for me. I think this year has been a lot better than 2016. I got myself employed at a very colourful workplace and I love it. The biggest highlight would be my Perth trip just to see the love of my life. It was my first time flying to another country and I did it all alone. and Perth was lovely because he was there.
Anyway, I have been gone for quite a long time. Mostly because of work. and mostly also because I have been good. I handled my sadness quite well and I did not get as sad as terribly as before.
So, I’d say 2017 has been good to me and I am glad it did.
I’m ready for 2018, come what may.
When you are the cause of all the problems, you'd just feel like running away, wouldn't you? Friendship. I am the one who is so poor in keeping in touch. I don't ask my friends out. When they invite me to events, I make excuses. But when they don't invite me, I get angry. Relationship. I start the arguments. I am impatient and needy. I have lost my mind and I am no longer being rational. If there is anyone to blame for all these problems, it should only be me. I am the toxic. I am the monster. I am ruining my own life.
Incurable maybe
I don't know what can cure this heart.
Help
Feeling empty is neither good or bad. You feel calm but you would also feel uneasy. The silence is deafening at times, but the stagnancy makes it feel alright. You feel okay. Just like an empty transparent cube in a middle of a dark room. You are the cube, exposed yet protected by your own walls. Absorbing the darkness from the room. You are part of the darkness, you become one of them. Blending in. Perfectly still. Untouched and unmoved. Stagnant, and alright.
This song was on repeat for quite a long time, before and after you’ve left. But I will always remember how this song was playing on that whole entire night, on the way to the airport and back home. That night when I was sleeping and I would wake up every hour to check on the flight radar tracker. The feeling was a little similar like the feeling on the night that I saw the meteor shower. How I woke up many times that night, and everytime I did, I’d look at the moon and wished the night would never end so the Moon would be there forever.
But time never stops. At least not yet. And until then we are deemed to live and follow whatever that’s written for us.
I hope this chapter will end soon. I can’t wait to get to the chapter where we will live happily ever after.
xx
It’s like, poking a hermit crab, trying to pull it out from its house. With some sort of expectations that you have in mind, you continue to provoke it until you win. Hermit crab didn’t want to come out. It’s safe in there, it’s comfortable being on its own until it is ready to go out and take a walk. But you keep on insisting that it should go out and see the world cause who knows it might make Mr. crab feels better. Rather than just being stuck in that dumb shell. But hermit crab knows best and it still chooses to stay inside. But you’re so persistent and then you won. Poor hermit is now outside. You were shocked because the hermit isn’t as how you thought it is. Hermit was right. Hermit is always right when it comes to its gut and conscience. and there you watch the poor hermit crab crawling, desperately pushing itself across the sand trying to find his shell, to be safe again. This time, you just watch it go and wished that hermit crab will be safe again while hermit crab, on the other hand, wishes that you would learn your lesson.
