inadequate
you know, it sucks feeling like you're not good enough. to know that everything you do is inadequate. to feel like you are not worth everything in the world plus more. because as my stomach sinks into itself, as I hear the news of the other girl. I can't help but think "it can never be me." as I sit in my bed, and try to be happy for you, everything hurts. I didn't expect myself to be so upset. I didn't expect real tears to fall from my eyes, because everyone knows I'm not capable of actual emotion for longer than 5 minutes. because God forbid, I have feelings for someone or something. or anything really. as I try to play it off as "okay," I just feel like an idiot. I mean you had no idea, no of course not. nor will you ever have an idea. but as I've had to explain the way I feel about my inadequacy, I can't help but wonder "why can't it be me?" it's never me.
-krc