And it's over!
Hey guys,
As suspected Eurystheus has set me one hell of a finale; im tasked with capturing Cerberus, the demon guard dog of hell, sans weapons. WHAT. THE. HELL. I know I’m god and I’m super strong but even I have my limits, and I have a feeling this glorified dog might test them, especially if I’m allowed no weapons, not even my faithful club! O woe is me. Even better, he says he’s doing this as a final revenge for killing my family, as if I wasn’t already tormented enough, you gotta go and pull this one me??? Some cousin you are.
Anyway, right now I’m off to Eleusis to meet with Eumolpus so he can clue me in on the Eleusinian mysteries in the hopes that I don’t die/have a more successful time in the underworld. Be back soon hopefully.
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So I’ve been read into the mysteries, hopefully that will lessen the odds of my failure by somewhat, I’ve also been fortunate enough to find the entrance to the underworld in Tanaerum, with some assistance from the lovely Athena once again, as well as surprise assistance from Hermes who has helped me traverse my way down to the Underworld. So far so good; Hestia also appeared to help me on my way by assisting me in my avoidance of Charon, the ferryman of the dead in Underworld, so he doesn’t mistake me for someone who is legit dead as opposed to just ‘visiting’. Now all I have to do is find my good old uncle Hades and ask if I can casually borrow his demonic three-headed guard dog. I’m sure that’s going to go down a freaking treat.
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Well that went surprisingly well if I’m being quite honest; I expected significantly worse from my final labour task, this hasn’t got shit on some of the other things Eurystheus made me do. Turns out Hades wasn’t anywhere near as much of a grumpy sod as I was informed he was and in fact he was surprisingly calm and understanding about the whole thing; on the condition that I found Cerberus myself and subdued him with nothing but my own two arms. Now that sounds incredibly difficult but I gotta say, after some of the wrestling I’ve been doing with other hellish creatures in this whole penance deal, Cerberus was a lot tamer then I expected. Sure the whole three-heads thing made it a little bit more fun than usual but eventually the dog submitted to my will and allowed me to carry him back to the mortal realm to be presented to Eurystheus. Unlike many of the other spoils of my labours that I returned to my cousin the beast was allowed to leave unharmed and alive, not being sacrificed to any of the gods, as I’m sure Hades wouldn’t have been too thrilled with that prospect.
Well now that my Labours are all done and dusted and I’m no longer under the command of my ever lovely cousin Eurystheus Hestia believes that I’ve come a long way from how I was when I started and that my anger management has significantly improved! Overall I guess I’d have to say it was one hell of a wild ride and I probably wouldn’t have coped anywhere near as well without this online diary for me to vent at so I guess I’d just like to say thanks really! But, at the same time I suppose this is somewhat of a goodbye as I don’t really need it anymore if my anger’s under control. Who knows what I’ll do now, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop adventuring, I’ve got so many more places to see, beasts to conquer, maidens to seduce, you get the idea; who knows where I’ll end up!
Have on last magnificent selfie of me and my uncle’s lovely hell-hound Cerberus:
Heracles, signing out for the last time.
