i cleaned out my phone.
+ blog up on my other blog as well: http://bit.ly/1QxkIng +
you’ll never stop smoking if you keep going to buy cigarettes. you’ll never see the future if you keep looking into the past. you’ll never get anything done if you keep watching another episode. you'll never let go if you keep.
i’ve been trying to wrap my head around the addiction of social media and the addiction of our phones. the last four months have been months of learning, observing, and discipline. four months ago i moved into a college dorm room and started college soccer, only to start classes soon after that. my entire life shifted from being around people i knew all of the time, to being thrown into a college and onto a team where i knew no one. i went from having a flexible schedule to having rare free time to sit and do whatever i wanted. before i came to college, i was attached to my phone, netflix, social media, and everything else that made everything accessible, but after four months, i can’t help but feel like throwing my phone across the room, deleting my netflix account, and staying off social media.
today was my first day off mentally in awhile. i didn’t have an assignment to worry about or a project to be hacking away at. and the day started out promising. i braved the cold and ran over three miles this morning and then a couple errands with dad, and then i came home and found myself on my phone checking what social media options i still have on my phone. then i went to sit down and work on some photos, but the quiet engulfed me and i quickly opened a browser and got to netflix before the silence was too much. and then i found my bed was more comfortable than sitting in a chair and next thing i know six hours have passed and i’m still mindlessly staring at a screen as an alternate universe plays through the screen telling of a normal guy who became a super hero and helps fight danger.
so i got up and sat in a chair and opened word to write (type) and nothing came to mind and i got so frustrated at the fact that in two seconds i couldn’t think of something to write instead of getting frustrated that i spent six hours laying in bed without having any mental work, physical work, or even emotional work.
there’s a part of me that blames society and the culture we live in today. if you aren’t caught up on the latest and greatest, you are no longer the latest and greatest. if you aren’t on social media scrolling aimlessly, you’re out of the loop because you can’t tell what every other person is doing and posting about at any given time. but i think it all comes down to addiction and i think that’s one of the worst things out there.
so i went through my phone and deleted photos that didn’t make me feel anymore. i went through and deleted old messages that have come and gone. i went through and deleted a ton of applications that haven’t been used in a while or have been used too much. all of my social media access is only obtainable through safari, which i don’t use often because most mobile social media sites don’t flow well. the only social media app i choose to have is instagram because i like photos and can have that application without needing it.
and just like anything else, you can say all you want that you’re going to stop or quit or end an addiction, but as long as it’s so easily accessible and you’re allowing it to sit there quietly on your phone screen, you’ll find yourself an hour later, still scrolling, still catching up on the lives of others as you waste your own life doing so, sill desperate for more, still getting less, still wanting more, and still lost.
your addiction will still be one until you make steps towards stopping it. and we live in a world, where we’re all addicted to our phones and to social media.