Pairing: Vivien x Leandro x Anya from If I Fall by shirlengtearjerky
Prompt: “The one that got away or the one you got away from?”
Note: This is one of my entries for Ate Leng's Ficlet Writing Contest last 2015. This is not affiliated with shirlengtearjerky or any of her stories. I wrote this when I was young so please bear with it.
Anya broke up with him two years after they reconciled. (Naging sila rin kasi dati pero naghiwalay sila. After that break up, they met again and decided to reconcile.) He thought their relationship would be better than before. But it became worse.
He still loves Anya, yes. But the Anya he loved is already gone. And the Anya he returned to is not the same Anya anymore. So they had to end their relationship before they destroy each other.
But after that, he met Vivien, who made him forget all the pain Anya caused him. They both had a wonderful relationship. But of course, there'll be a conflict in every good relationship.
* * *
It’s been five years since she was left hanging. It’s been five years since that koi pond incident.
Limang taon na siyang naghihintay. Limang taon na rin siyang umaasa. Limang taon na magmula noong iniwan siya ni Lean. Limang taon na rin siyang nagtataka kung bakit siya iniwan ng taong minamahal niya.
He asked her to meet him at their usual spot–the university’s koi pond. That time, she already felt something bad is going to happen. Pero hindi niya naisip na ang ‘something bad’ na ’yon ay ang pagputol niya sa relasyon nilang dalawa. They could have a long distance relationship if the problem is he’ll go abroad to continue his studies there. Pero kasi hindi eh. He just left. What makes it difficult is that he just left without telling his reason.
What are the possible reasons on why he left her? Studies? Nah, he could've at least told her if it’s just about his studies. Family? Not really, nandito ang close relatives niya like his cousins. Someone else? Well, maybe. But she doesn't want to think of that. Ayaw niyang mabuhiran ng madumi ang pangalan niya sa isip niya. Ayaw niyang pinagbibintangan siya. Ayaw niyang hindi nagtitiwala sa kanya. After all, she loves him that much. The thing is she’s not sure if will be reciprocated by the same person.
For him, it hurts to be left by someone you love. Of course, he knew the feeling of being left, too. Bonus, yung taong pinakamamahal pa niya. The person who makes his day perfect is the same person who broke his heart in just a prick, too. Mahirap ang maiwanan, yes, he knows that. Mahirap din ang maiwanan na hindi mo alam ang dahilan kung bakit.
But for him, leaving someone you love hurts more. The hurting is more aching to the heart if you haven't even told her the reason why you left her. Believe it or not, mas masakit ang mang-iwan lalo na kung ayaw mo naman siyang iwanan.
Five years nang iniiwasan ni Vivien dumaan sa koi fish pond na ’yun. But for the first time, she had the courage to remember that aching moment she had.
“Vivien, I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what to feel. She didn’t know what to react. Nag-sosorry pa lang siya, nasasaktan na siya. “But I have to leave the country.”
She begged for him to stay. She actually begged for him to stay in love with her, kahit hindi na siya physically mag-stay. But no, hindi siya pinagbigyan nito.
“I have to fix myself first before giving my whole self to you.”
* * *
After five years, Leandro decided to go home to the Philippines. He thinks he’s ready to face the two ladies in his life.
“Are you sure with that, Lean?” Zades asked. She knew the tragic love story of Leandro. Siya lang din ang naging karamay ni Lean sa New York habang ineendure niya ang sakit sa puso niya. “Eh sinong uunahin mong harapin? The one who got away or the one you got away from?”
“You always ask the good questions, huh,” Lean said, amazed with his friend. Hindi niya rin kasi masagot kung sino ang uunahin niya.
“Ito, Leandro. Sino ang inaasahan mong meron kang babalikan?” Yes, it is true. Zades always ask the good questions. Nang wala siyang masagot ay nagtanong ulit si Zades (to prove a point), “Sino ang unang mong naisip when I asked the question?”
“The one I got away from.”
“There you go!”
After a week he arrived the tropical island, he invited Vivien for coffee to have the ‘talk.’ He was expecting everything was going to be fine. Fine, meaning back to their normal selves wherein simula na ulit ng relationship nila.
He was about to ask to her if she could be his girlfriend now that he is sure with his decision when her phone rang.
“Hey, babe. Yeah, see you later! I love you.”
As she put her phone down, he already knew that he needs to back off. He’s too late to give himself to her. He’s too late to go back to the one he got away from.
Before they separate ways, Lean held Vivien’s hand tightly– tighter than usual. Napatingin sa kanya si Vivien kay Lean nang gawin niya yun but he didn't looked at her. He doesn't want her to see the pain in his eyes. He doesn't want her to see the agony on his face. He just wanted to show her how he feels by squeezing her hands, hoping that she could understand what he feels, even just a bit. Besides, he might break down if he chose to tell everything he felt. Because hands speak more intimately than words.
