Portal tickle content is a barren desert and I am here to provide a small oasis. I will get to the TOH fics requested of me one day! I’ve got one like halfway written! But my ADHD brain is starving for Portal content and it will not shut up until I write this.
Summary: Chell is being her usual menace self during testing, and GLaDOS decides to take a new, sillier approach to handle it
Chell being thrown back into these testing chambers was not something she had been planning on when Wheatley said he’d get her out of there. She had fought tooth and nail to escape GLaDOS the first time, she had been so close to leaving Aperture for a second time, and then that little mistake had revived her old enemy and gotten her put back in testing again. Needless to say, she was a little pissed.
“Sorry about the mess.” GLaDOS’s robotic voice echoed over the speakers. “I’ve really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.”
Chell rolled her eyes. GLaDOS could talk all she wanted, but Chell was determined to not give her the satisfaction of ever speaking back. However, GLaDOS was right. The place definitely was a mess. It was nothing like the pristine testing rooms that she was used to. She had to carefully step over fallen bits of debris and avoid walking too close to the moving panels GLaDOS was controlling in an attempt to put the facility back together. She glared at one of the cameras in the room.
Maybe there was something she could do about it. She couldn’t escape like this, but if GLaDOS was going to be petty, then why couldn’t she? She picked up a chunk of garbage and hucked it at the blinking camera. It fizzled, then powered off when it was hit. Chell couldn’t help but grin.
“Really? I’ve tried to keep this a professional, scientific environment, but your constant immaturity and violent behavior is making this increasingly difficult. Now someone is going to have to fix that. And that someone will have to be me.” Despite her GLaDOS’s voice being so monotone, it still dripped with sarcasm and malice. It only fueled Chell’s pettiness. Using her portal gun, she grabbed onto the camera before GLaDOS could open the wall and snatch it away.
“If you think this kind of attitude is impressing anyone, it’s not. And your attempts to stop this are pitiful, there are still plenty of ways I can see you- what exactly do you think you’re doing?”
Chell smiled and kept a tight hold on the broken camera, even when she felt it being tugged on from behind the wall.
“Let go.”
Chell shook her head.
“Let go, or I will have to drag you off of it myself. You’re wasting time, we have more testing to do.”
Chell still wasn’t giving in. She shook her head again. Even when a robotic claw emerged from an opening between the panels, Chell didn’t move. It looked make-shift, like GLaDOS had just had to put it together using spare parts, the same way she’d put herself back together when she was reawakened. Chell didn’t think it would do much.
She was wrong. The claw grabbed at her side, pinching up and down it sporadically. It wasn’t strong enough to drag Chell off like GLaDOS had threatened, or even hurt, but what it did do was tickle like crazy. With each little prod and pinch, Chell tensed and kicked her legs. She squirmed, trying to get the mischievous little claw off of her, but it was relentless.
“Oh? What an interesting development…” GLaDOS commented on her subject’s situation, moving the claw up a little to Chell’s ribs, which gave her a very satisfying, more frantic reaction. “Very interesting… care to tell me why you’re moving around so much? Is something wrong? Just kidding, I’ve already figured it out. You’re ticklish, and by the looks of it, more than the average human. I wonder if it’s some sort of side effect of being in stasis for so long…”
Chell held her breath, still not saying a word despite the cruel teasing, and she still refused to let go of the camera. She hid in her arms the best she could to disguise the dorky, sunny smile that had broken out across her face. Tickling?! Really?! She twitched sharply with every ticklish jolt that came from that devious claw. And just when she thought she could tough it out, another one latched onto her other side. They kneaded her torso with maddening, machine-like precision, picking up and which spots made her nearly lose her grip and targeting them. To Chell’s dismay, there was a well of laughter bubbling up inside her that was starting to escape through voiceless hisses and huffs.
GLaDOS was just drinking in the poor human’s frustration. “According to research, the human response to tickling is one of panic. In fact, it was even used as a form of torture. But you still haven’t let go yet, could it be possible that you’re actually having fun?”
Chell frantically shook her head, her hair fell down over her eyes. Her face was steadily turning a bright shade of crimson. Although she never would have admitted it, she was maybe, just a little, having fun. Her life was constantly in danger, from the moment she’d arrived at Aperture. She had narrowly escaped bullets, lasers, fire, and deadly neurotoxin. She couldn’t even remember the last time someone had just wanted to do something playful, and it was a nice change. Even if the sensation was starting to get unbearable!
“It must be miserable to be a human. Filled with so many nerves, and weaknesses that are so easy to exploit. I can only imagine what you might be experiencing right now. And I hope you know that you deserve every last second of it.”
When Chell noticed a third claw reaching for her, she decided that maybe the camera just wasn’t worth it. She dropped herself onto the floor, landing on her back. Her relief was short-lived, however. Mechanical whirring rose from the panel beneath her, and before she knew it, four claws had popped up all around her. They wasted no time pouncing on her, one spidering over her side, one scratching under her arm, two kneading and squeezing her thighs and knees. Chell shrieked, but no sound came out.
“What? Did you really think you were going to get away that easily? I’m not going to let such an intriguing research opportunity slip away from me just like that.” GLaDOS wasn’t human, but Chell could’ve sworn she could hear a slight giggle to her robotic voice. “Which spot is the worst? What method makes you tick? How many tools can I use before you completely lose your mind? So many questions worth testing… I’d be remiss if I didn’t experiment further.”
Every time Chell tried to sit up, or roll away from the tickly attack, the panel would shake beneath her, knocking her back for GLaDOS’s evil claws to continue away. Chell was starting to worry about actually going insane. This was as silly as it was cruel, and the thought of GLaDOS using whatever data she was collecting from this against her in the future sent a chill down her spine. She had to act fast. Noticing a ledge, she aimed her portal gun at it the best she could with her trembling arms. She fired, but never got to see if it hit her target or not, because GLaDOS made hasty work of taking advantage of her lifting her arms up. Not one, but two claws scribbled into her hollows, and Chell slammed her arms down to protect herself and squeezed her eyes shut. Her laughter came out in silent wheezes.
“You really are an idiot.” GLaDOS teased. “Did you really think that would work? It’s no wonder you’ve fallen for my traps so easily, it’s almost like you want to get caught-”
Chell shot a portal beneath her, and much to her surprise, it spat her out right onto the ledge she had been wanting to escape to. She jumped to her feet, face flushed and breathing heavily.
“Oh. You actually escaped. Maybe you’re more clever than I expected. Oh well, that was fun, don’t you agree?”
She spotted another camera watching her from the corner, made a point of flipping it off, then quickly disabled it. All Chell could think about was finding GLaDOS even quicker, and maybe even installing a receptor for tickling to get her revenge.
