Im sad so let me project the things that made me sad onto soapghost + reader angst.
You were friends. Okay, maybe thats too shallow. You guys were partners in life and death. Soap and Ghost both have been together since the start of your enrollment in the task force, and you had no qualm. You were content with the dynamic, you supported both of them to death.
But it seems that support and care wasn't reciprocated. You didn't know why they even bother talking and being buddy buddy w/ you if they were just going to be in each other's face no matter the time, ignoring you unless they need sumn.
Yeah, you had no qualm until they start leaving you out for plans or dinner, declining invitations to hang put tgt, forgetting to look out for you in favor of each other. You would've accepted this if you didn't look out for them as well, but you did.
You always did, coffee if they both look too tired, making plans for their date bcs they both are awkward, birthdays never went uncelebrated even if with just a simple wish, having their back on missions and always keeping their wellbeing in your mind.
'Maybe I did sumn wrong, maybe im too pushy, maybe Im overreacting.' You thought to yourself multiple times, trying to rationalise their reasoning of always leaving you out.
Today was the breaking point, its been months since you guys last hung out tgt so you thought maybe this time, they will agree. But no, of course no. Soap and Ghost both made the excuse that they dont have enough money to go out and you accepted it, albeit reluctantly. You get ready anyways, repeating the same cycle of inviting and getting declined, getting ready alone yet again.
You try to push the thoughts aside, not wanting to spoil your own mood. Three knocks sounded on your door, giving you hope that maybe one of them found some extra cash to hang out only to be met with Soap handing you a 50 dollar bill and asking you to buy something for them.
'So they did have money.'
Your smile becomes tight, almost ripping at the corners from how hard you try to maintain the initial smile. You agreed and he went out, just like that.
You can't take it, you really can't. All those months just crashing down on you relentlessly, making you feel so lonely and isolated. You don't know what you did wrong, you dont know. If you did maybe you can make this friendship right again, just tell you whats wrong.
A few tears slips down your cheek, the sadness before festering into rage that you can't contain. You cry inaudibly, quickly fetching your keys and drive out of base. The ride to the pub felt so long, each of your tears turning louder until it turns to sobs and hiccups.
All those time you third wheeled them, all of that came from your own pocket money. Hundreds were spent to accompany their dates, hotel rooms, karaoke, the movies. You are just a simple soldier of lower ranking, you didn't have all that much compared to them. But never once you complained, never once you regret spending that much if it meant being able to spend time with them.
And for them to do this hurts, so fucking much. Your sobs turns so unbeareable that you had to park at the side of the road, unable to see the road with how much tears are obscuring your view.
You just wanted to be friends, have some sort of intact human relationship in a career that puts your life in danger everyday. Just some kind of support to get through the days with flashbacks and trauma. Just a hand to hold in case of night terrors shaking you awake from your slumber. Just some friends that will care for you like you care for them. And yet, and yet.
Once again, your loneliness takes over and you dont know what to do. You should've known better, silly child. You are cursed to love people more than people will ever love you.
A/n: so yeah thats all, i think its pretty clear what happened that made me sad. Thank you so much if you read to this point.