These files are hilarious. I like that they're letting at least fake Parker be 30 instead of 21 or something, though.
Shut up, boys.
Well done, Hardison.
Who stole Magneto's chess set?
Oh Parker.
Oh boys. Someone might be protesting a bit too much. 🤭
Oh Eliot. 😆
I'm not entirely sure if that was Eliot cracking or Christian Kane breaking character just a bit, though. And that's exactly what I meant earlier when I said I'm not sure what I should read into some of the facial acting and cuts.
How did that even work? 😂
Did Christian Kane mess up his face somehow during the shooting? First the lesbian bar thing, now he's wearing a beanie that covers half his face in a lot of scenes.
Ooh, I just noticed he has pierced ears. Left one twice. Nice.
it took them three (3) years to get the vargas case on trial ??? that’s so long, the court system is fucked up
- - - - -
Hardison: You are Alice White. It's one of the aliases I made for you, vegetarian, bookkeeper. She had a pretty wild time at her sister's wedding in Phoenix. You should check out her facebook page.
eliot smiling at that rb if u agree
- - - - -
Nate: No. No. Jury duty - A place where you have to follow instructions.
Sophie: Where you have to consider other people's point of view.
Eliot: There's gonna be normal people there, Nate.
eliot emphasizing that there would be NORMAL people there lmfao
- - - - -
the fam sitting together eating pizza we love to see it
- - - - -
Sophie: you know, she's never done that before.
Nate: What, stormed out? Come on.
Sophie: No, asked for our help. (walks out)
(Nate looks toward Parker, then back at Hardison)
Nate: What? Listen, there is a reason we put her in a jury trial.
(Hardison mutes game)
Hardison: You know, man, when I was a, when I was a kid, I was like 8 years old, I had a foster mom who was Jehovah’s witness. She used to dress me up in a suit and a bow tie and take me door-to-door to spread the word. Black neighborhoods, white neighborhoods, didn't matter. I would kick, I’d scream, or whatever, but she would say "Alec, you need to learn how to talk to people." See, everything I learned about people, I learned ringing doorbells and-and-and being in a bow tie. Parker never had that. I mean, jumping from a skyscraper, she's cool. But making small talk? It’s-it's like pure terror. Just cut her some slack.
(Eliot hurries in with a six pack of beer)
Eliot: How about them Cowboys? What'd I miss? (flips his beer)
Nate: Nothing.
(Nate looks at Parker, who is dialing her phone)
like I love learning about their backstories but I can’t believe someone made hardison be a jehovah’s witness
- - - - -
parker is wearing flannel again
- - - - -
Nate: Not if we steal it first. Who plays chess?
Eliot: I play.
Nate: Yeah, of course you do. A chess game has three stages, right? I mean, you got your opening, middle, and end game. In the opening, you want to take control of the board, and you want to line up your attack and you want to protect the king, which, ironically, is the weakest piece you have
nate isn’t even surprised that eliot plays chess. he’s just like yeah, that adds up.
- - - - -
(Eliot is in a dumpster while Hardison is on the ground looking through garbage bags)
Eliot: It's your turn to be in the dumpster.
Hardison: No, man, no. I-I have-I have peanut allergies. What if somebody threw in some extra crunchy Skippy? Then, you know, it's just a (wheezing) all up in my vocal area, man. Do you want to give me mouth-to-mouth? No, none of us want that. Hell no.
(Eliot throws a trash bag at Hardison’s head. Hardison looks up, angry)
Eliot: Heads up (laughs)
they’re idiots
+ ALSO hardison is always in danger of triggering fake allergies,,, this, the rashomon job,,,
- - - - -
Hardison: Quint's on the hook. He went to Mumbai international limited's website to check out Sophie.
Nate: It's a real company?
Hardison: Cover story's better that way. Just, uh, changed this... (hits button on remote, which changes a picture on a website) to this.
- - - - -
Sophie: Okay, today did not go well, but that's all right. You know, we learn when we fail. We're gonna-we're gonna go back to basics, and we're gonna do a little role-playing. Gonna start with-with persuasion techniques. So, Eliot (tosses him an apple) has an apple. Alice (tosses her an orange) has an orange.
Eliot: I love apples. Apples are my favorite fruit.
Parker: Good for you, sparky.
Eliot (to Sophie): I-I don't have to sit here and take this crap.
Sophie: Go on. Just do it for me.
Eliot (to Parker): You have an orange, all right? Now, convince me that I want the orange, not the apple. I'm gonna take a bite. (slowly brings the apple to his mouth and takes a bite)
Parker: I put a razor blade in that apple.
Eliot (spits out the apple): Are you serious?
Parker: Maybe. But do you know what doesn’t have a razor blade in it? This orange. (smells the orange) Don't you want it? (tosses the orange at Eliot and leaves)
Sophie: You fell for that? (exits room)
CHAOTIC OT3
- - - - -
Hardison: O- Okay. Um... you know, I have photos (places a file on the bench) that I would like to introduce from a vacation, the opposing counsel water-skiing. It's all from his website - very public.
Louis: I object.
Hardison: As well you should. You shouldn't be doing that. Seriously? I mean, he doesn't have the body.
r o a s t e d
- - - - -
Parker: Wait! Wait a second. That was a secret. You just told me a secret, right? That's something friends do.
Peggy: Well, I guess so. You're the nicest one here.
Parker: Really? I mean, thanks.
her S M I L E your honor
- - - - -
Earnshaw: Lunch is almost over. Get back to the trial. (opens folder) Joseph Miller, Georgetown pre-Law, Harvard law with honors! This can't be right. This guy's hourly rate has to be more than what our grieving widow makes in a month.
Assistant: Ma'am, it all checks out. Unless Gloria Vargas found some guy who created a CIA Level cover story and fake identity
hardison is just that good and we love to see it
- - - - -
Earnshaw: Wait. Who's that?
Assistant: The guy talking to the Vargas lawyer?
Earnshaw: No. Her. Raid Quint’s computer, his calendar, his e-mails. Pull out the call logs and the GPS records from his phone. I want to know who that is.
- - - - -
Quint: Earnshaw says if we settle, we open ourselves up to other lawsuits.
Sophie: We don't care about more lawsuits. With a billion people in the work force, a few deaths won't raise an eyebrow.
Quint: Government won't crack down?
Sophie: Mr. Quint, it takes five years to get a parking permit
that’s fucked
- - - - -
(Donnie is standing in front of a green screen)
Nate: Good. He's good.
Eliot (turns off camera): What I tell you? (hugs Donnie) Thank you for coming in on such short notice, Donnie.
Donnie: Ah, dinna fash yersel, laddie. What are friends for?
Eliot: Exactly. Beer's on me soon.
Donnie: Oh, you remember tha. (exits)
Nate: He's very good.
Eliot: What I tell you
we love getting more insight on eliot’s past and who his friends are/used to be
- - - - -
hardison, parker and eliot walking to the door and nate and sophie seeing them off like parents (even parker with her packed lunch!!!)
- - - - -
Hardison: Oh, incident. Okay. (referring to file) Would that happen to be the incident on flight 732 out of St. Louis, where you-you fondled a flight attendant's buttocks? Or would that happen to be the incident on flight 1433 out of Chicago, where you drank 17 tiny margaritas, you took your pants off, you stood up on the drink cart, and you sang, quote, "I'm a sexy monkey"?
Patemkin: I have no recollection of that.
Hardison: I'm not surprised, because it was not one, it wasn't two, but it was 22 incidents of drunk and belligerent, grab-assy behavior that landed you on that list.
Judge: Mr. Miller.
Louis: Objection!
Hardison: No, you know what, your honor? The US Government has determined that this man is not qualified to ride on an airplane, like Osama bin Laden. How is this jury supposed to rely on him to render a sound medical opinion
IM SCREAMING
+
parker looks so proud of him
- - - - -
Parker: Oh, sweet mercy, cooked flesh. (takes a bite of burger) Can we have fast food every time we make the bad guys go away
let parker eat as much meat as she wants 2k20
also, eliot is sitting right next to her and finally got to watch his football 😌 we love to see them sitting together
- - - - -
Nate: Did you realize what you just did? What you did? You won a jury trial without cheating.
Hardison: Without chea--I hacked a government no-fly list and used it to humiliate a witness.
Nate: Excessively. "Cheating excessively" is what I meant. But, I mean, think about it, I mean, if you applied yourself, Hardison, you could be anything you want.
Hardison: You know what? I could. I could. You know, next week, I think I’m gonna be an astronaut.
Nate: Well, that's not really what I meant. I meant if you studied, you’d--
Hardison: Yeah, if I--Who needs to study? You know, I’m gonna be a surgeon. A surgeon – ER. Surgeon.
HARDISON IS A GENIUS AND CAN DO ANYTHING HE WANTS SEND TWEET
- - - - -
(Parker gets a text and checks her phone)
Parker: Hey, it's Peggy from the trial! She wants to have coffee next week. Alice made a friend.
Eliot: I'm gonna tell you one more time. You made a friend, not Alice.
Parker: Oh, cool. Well, think she'd want to steal a painting with me?
Sophie: Start small, Parker. Try coffee.
that’s so cute and means so much that she made a friend that even went as far as REACHING OUT to HER !!!
and she doesn’t reject the idea!!!
okay but also if a girl as pretty as parker asked me to steal a painting with her with that smile on her face, bitch you bet I would,,, I am but a simple bisexual with a weakness for pretty ladies
