A valentines themed entry for my (blood elf shadow priest in game but technically an undead) Banshee Lexine Cahn, wife of Dr Marnros "Meensa" Cahn. One thing about poor Lex is she cannot cook. At all. And no one has told her because Meensa threatens to melt faces if they do...
How can it be so hard to cook a this meal? I can manage cakes, biscuits, teas and all manner of breakfast products but apparently roasted gnome with full garnish was proving difficult. It was not helped by the oven-imp doing everything possible to make my unlife difficult.
I just wanted to make a romantic meal for my Meensa when he got home, was that too much to ask? He never seemed to have a problem making elaborate dinner and he was a shadow priest lacking a jaw. So surely I, as a banshee, shouldn’t be having this much bother.
The thought crossed my mind that maybe I should ask one of the base’s other residents for help. Or at the very least ask if they could clean up my failed attempts of gnome whilst I kept trying to work out how you stuff the seasonings into a gnome without it exploding. Perhaps Meensa had picked up a bad batch on his last supply trip? These ones did seem to lack structural integrity. The only problem was there wasn’t anyone else around. Zabra was off sulking and Alshee was taking her pets out for a walk. Actually, them being out was precisely why I was making this meal. Something special for me and my husband for the love festivities.
I heard the soft patter of feline feet as Bugsy, the patriarch of the cat colony that infested the base made his way in.
“Shoo!” I said, grabbing the broom to chivvy the cat out. Bugsy merely responded by jumping onto a cabinet and padding along to one of the patches of gnome residue. Bugsy was so contrary, I do wish Meensa wouldn’t indulge him so much. But then again, my husband had such a soft spot for cats, even if they were actually demons who had realised they got everything they wanted as demons much easier if they were cat shaped. Bugsy licked at the gnome splatter as I tried to swat him with the broom again. His fur stood on end after only a few licks and he sped out of the kitchen yowling like the demon he was. I took a breath to settle my nerves. At least he hadn’t tried to go for the roast.
As if on cue there was the pitiful sound of a wet explosion behind me.l Bits of gnome and stuffing flew all over the kitchen and through me. I turned around to see the oven-imp making a break for freedom.
“Oh no you don’t, get back in there!”
“Oh fel no lady!” the oven imp gabled, climbing the kitchen walls to cling to the torch brackets. “There ain’t no way you’re getting me back in there with you cooking!”
Broom in hand I swat the imp over and over. “Get back in the oven Sprout,” I ordered, but it was no use; the imp refused to let go of the wall.
Someone cleared their throat behind me, a horrific gurgling sound that could only come from someone who lacked a jaw. I turned around and saw my husband there, a sack over his shoulder and eyebrow raised at the mess to his beloved kitchen. I lowered the broom guilty.
“Sorry, dear,” I said, “I just wanted to make a romantic meal for you.”
“Well… then it’s just as well I had made arrangements for us to eat out tonight,” Dr Cahn replied telepathically after a moment’s hesitation. “There’s a brand new Scarlet Crusade camp that just set up nearby. Fresh recruits and everything.”
I can’t help myself as I croon and float over to give him a peck on the cheek. My husband can be such a romantic sometimes! Meensa threw the wiggling sack into a corner and linked an arm with me as we headed out to enjoy a romantic evening of bloodshed.
Took a break from Nanowrimo to get over my aversion to drawing my own characters.
This is Lexine, wife of Doctor Marnros 'Meensa' Cahn and a banshee. Former villain but found she wasn't really cut out for the job (when you start having a friendly conversation with the person you're meant to be killing, its kinda telling)
So a fun little piece of Lexine both alive and in her current undead state.
