There was an obvious excitement in Minjun’s attitude as soon as the voice teacher dismissed the class for the day. He checked his watch again for the third time in less than two minutes, which made his fellow trainees smirk at him, questioning is he had a date. Rolling his eyes at first, he dismissed them, but the words kept ringing loud in his ears as he excused himself and ran as fast as he could to another practice room.
But there was no class now, they were during dinner break but most of the trainees used that time to either get some nap time or practice even more. The person Minjun was so excited to see fell on the last example and knowing his schedule the way he knew, his feet already took him to the room he knew by heart.
He wasn’t a stalker, no, but Max was someone Minjun held close to his heart, ever since his brother introduced him as his best friend and Minjun as his baby brother. Until these days he remembers how he hated that he would be forever seen as a kid in Max’s eyes, never for once having the chance to properly tell him how he felt, how his heart would beat faster whenever he saw him walking around the corridors.
When he opened the practice room's door, without knocking, he immediately noticed something was wrong. He would normally find his crush excitedly practicing or writing his own stuff but this time he was just sitting there on the floor with a disconnected look. That was already reason enough to make Minjun cross the distance between them faster than he used to, kneeling in front of the older man.
“Maximus?” he used his own nickname in a soft voice, unable to stop his hand from reaching out, fingertips brushing lightly the boy's palm.
the end of the trimester marks a new point in hwang minjun’s life. through the many twists and turns, he’s gradually shaping himself and spreading his wings.
minjun isn’t my first muse of the year, but he is the one i’ve grown incredibly attached to, with connections i never imagined he’d have. i missed the halfway point of the year, i meant to post this on his birthday, july 10th, but better late than never, right? this also serves as a thank you to everyone who plotted with minjun—he continues to develop as a character because of you all, both he and i can’t thank you enough !
PERSONALITY
not a lot has changed in terms of his personality, he continues to be a person eager to please, an overachiever at times, to the point where he’d push himself a little too far. he’s learning to overcome this flaw, to let others take care of him, listen when he’s being told that he’s working too hard. to give himself a break when he needs it. he’s opening his arms to different types of people, more than happy to accommodate all types of personalities if it meant building friendships. at the end of the day, he still has a lot of love to give.
CAREER
the beginning of it all—the valentines event drew out minjun’s infamous aegyo, which went viral within the blink of an eye. it may not be as significant as what follows, but it’s still an event that brings a smile to his face.
fear accompanied him when he auditioned for project origin, but the experience made him realise something important—what matters is that he stayed true to himself as he performs, gives it very best with every little stomp and twist, pour all he can with each move. and eventually, he’ll be rewarded.
type zero chipped away at his confidence, the pressures of being a replacement were heavy on his shoulders. gradually, he learns that he doesn’t have to deal with it on his own—after all, type zero is a group first and foremost, lifting one another up. it’s fine to be himself, he doesn’t need to pretend to be someone else.
being a part of project origin and legacy boys gave him opportunities he wouldn’t dare imagine even in his wildest dreams. the tour opened his eyes to new heights, brought him out of his shell, introduced him to a greater stage, one he had the privilege to perform on, including a solo performance. boarding a plane hadn’t been easy, minjun never ventured so far before. it’s a terrifying experience, but one he wouldn’t erase.
RELATIONSHIPS
a recap of minjun’s connections thus far, from his point of view.
minjun finds himself facing pages of the past when he reunites with ( @lgcinsoo ), a fellow dancer from his old days that he used to admire. to his surprise, the reunion was far from awkward, ending with a promise to hang out whenever they find the time. though they’re walking different paths now, minjun will always be rooting for insoo. he hopes the time they hang out again will come soon.
( @lgcjiho ) had been another plushie collector, and was the person who managed to draw out minjun’s aegyo, causing him to go viral. in a way, minjun owes jiho his thanks, even more so for always seeming so eager to join him in his little tea parties. he believes project origin drew the two even closer, what with their shared fear for airplanes. they comforted one another like friends would, minjun won’t forget that day.
not all has been smooth sailing, he hit stormy waves when he went overboard with ( @lgchunji ). he’s not sure what he had done wrong specifically, but he knows it had to do with his desire to extend his hand even though he had been warned against it. minjun wants to fix things, tape back the string of friendship that he had broken. however, that isn’t his decision to make. either way, he can only hope hunji is thriving with whatever it is he’s doing. hunji helped him realise that there is merit to sticking to his own lane, to not shove himself into situations that doesn’t concern him.
he tried again to help someone else, ( @lgceunji ) this time. seeing her in a seemingly bad state after the prank worried him, and he did what he can do. offer a silent comfort and company, then gifting her one of his prized possessions, a small bear plushie. he intends to check up on her every now and then, even if he’s busy with the tour. he thinks of her as a little sister he wants to protect.
although it took a few days to adjust, he found friends among the type zero members. his worries were eased after his conversation with ( @lgcxking ), and minjun isn’t shy to admit that he admires the other for his determination and strong will. king’s bravery shown throughout the tour, like when king invited him to bungee jump, but also when king challenged himself to take part in babysitting services. he has a lot of respect for king.
among the project origin members, he finds himself adoring ( @lgcharu ), someone he can’t help but feel like he wants to take care of. discussing their characters aided minjun in figuring out how to ease himself into musical acting, something he had never done before. he had a lot of fun with haru throughout the tour as well, spending a part of their chuseok holidays together.
his encounter with ( @lgcemil ) had been one he hadn’t expected, meeting the other in the practice room when he intended to practice into the late night. he can’t hide his concern for emil, and although he doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries, he wants to become a friend that emil can count on whenever he’s feeling a little down.
there are a few special mentions. ( @lgceunho ) bonded with him when they were locked in a practice room, and although minjun would rather not get himself in such a situation ever again, he’s glad he had been stuck with eunho, who is a fun person to be around. panicking with ( @lgcxminseok ) over the april fools prank and playing with the animals in the shelter was a delightful time. during the project origin tour, he had a blast with king, ( @lgcyonghwa ) and ( @lgcmax ). yonghwa seems like a reliable older brother that minjun can count on. max’s bursts of energy draws out his own, there’s never a boring time with max. he didn’t know ( @lgcjueun ) before babysitting services, but as it turns out, taking care of kids together is another good way to bond.
YOON SHINHA
——— forever you are my star
( @lgcshinha ) appeared to him like a storm, wrecking his world in the best way possible. he encountered the enigma that is yoon shinha when he reached out towards the same cat plushie that the other did. it’s an out of the blue suggestion when he said they should share the plushie instead, but he wouldn’t have it any other day. that was the beginning of something beautiful—an encounter with an impact that will last a lifetime.
it’s a little funny when it turns out they ended up as roommates, but that makes it easier for them to take care of their little family. looking back, minjun isn’t sure when exactly things started to change between the two of them, where they drew the line between friendship and something else. it’s hard for minjun not to fall for shinha though, not when shinha took care of him like no one else ever had. the illusion of having a family with the other felt more real as days go by, to the point where minjun is afraid that he’d eventually do what he does best: overstep and ruin everything.
he had never, for the life of him, thought that shinha would feel the same way. and yet, after a long night of rigorous practice and a shared night in their dorm with no one else around, they laid their feelings out on the table. it all happened too fast, but it still felt like it was yesterday. minjun recalled the beating of his heart picking up pace, too quick for him to keep up. he remembers the tears that were in the corner of his eyes, ever the emotional person he was. but they left things up in the air, until...
july 10th, minjun’s birthday and the day the stars aligned. shinha keeps proving himself as someone minjun can’t help but think he doesn’t deserve sometimes. the gifts shinha bestowed upon him that day is enough to make his heart swell, he remembers feeling as if he’ll burst. a mix of emotions coursed through him that day, but overall he can say that he’s elated, he’s in love. that is further confirmed when shinha asked him out, and the tears he usually would try so hard to hide flowed almost endlessly. they became one that day, but minjun feels as if they were always one.
with project origin taking most of his time, he wasn’t granted enough time to spend with his beloved, but he can’t complain—not out loud, at the very least. the tour had been an experience minjun wouldn’t trade for the world, yet he finds himself thinking about shinha whenever he’s alone with his thoughts. texts and video calls weren’t nearly enough, he missed shinha’s presence by his side most of all. it was torture, but he believes in shinha, in their relationship, in them. minjun knows they can go through whatever hardships may come.
seeing shinha again during kcon backstage brought forth the longing he had been feeling the past month. but they’re strong, if they can survive a tour, then they’ll be able to handle worse.
a new trimester begins, and future dreams is knocking on their doors. minjun doesn’t wish for much, but if he could wish for one thing—he wants the both of them to debut, together.
THE ROAD AHEAD
above all, minjun intends to debut. he knows he’s meant to be on stage, and he wants to prove that he’s worth it. he doesn’t know what future dreams will bring, but he’s eager to show off what hwang minjun can do.
there are a lot of people he still wants to befriend, particularly those who will be participating in future dreams. there may be a competitive element, however friendly rivalry isn’t a bad thing.
he’s eager to brush up on his language skills, particularly japanese. with the workshop, that may be achievable. there seems to be a strong market in japan, so he wants to try it out.
despite the fun time he experienced in babysitting services, he’s eager to try out the other two variety shows. he isn’t the best at cooking, but masterchef legacy piqued his interests.
hunji sat alone. the party happily bounced around him. spooky music played, trainees around him laughed, and there was not a moment of lull nor of peace to be found.
a table, in the corner, was empty, save for hunji. there were six or seven chairs all in a circle. he chose the chair most in the corner, closest to the wall, and hid in the shadows. the halloween music raged. despite being dressed in bright colors he could not get into the spirit of the evening.
why did i even come here? my costume doesn’t even make- i’m supposed to be with huijin- with hana- but i’m here! who the fuck even talked me into this stupid shit?
he thought he was making friends at legacy. miyoung had not yet found him, though. seojin, huh, he was across the world being a rock sensation. hunji imagined him already somewhere writing music for an american record label. and max- max was absolutely gone.
he’s probably off with his stupid fucking girlfriend- what a bitch- what the fuck is even wrong with her- stupid cu-
SMACK!
a sharp palm stung his cheek. his head was knocked back. he gasped. he sat up. he looked around- who did that?
his own tone had shook him. he held his hand up to his cheek. was it real?
did i really hit myself? did i imagine it?
the shock of the slap faded. it was unanswerable. a new, worrying palm redirected his point of view.
why- why am i. . . she’s only ever been nice to me. why did i- why did i say that why did i say that why do i think about her like that she’s only a girl if she heard me she’d cry- i’m not supposed to talk about girls like that i- i-. . . why was i so angry? i shouldn’t be so angry. . .
sudden memories in his mind flashed.
miyoung told him her parents were fucked up- he was not the only disaster child there was.
mom was dead. mom was really dead. he could feel it. her light had been gone for so long.
jiyeon. she helped. she was so quiet. she was so gentle. when she touched him he would cry and cry and never stop- he could never stop if he wanted. she was so gentle. he felt such tenderness yet he spoke so cruelly-
when in his life had he ever wanted to try boxing? it was a terrifying thought. but, lately, he did not care. seojin took him boxing and he let himself go. hunji swallowed at the memory of the monster he had become. he had never hit anything so hard in his entire life. he had never let himself go so deeply- not even on stage.
how long have i been angry?
hunji could not remember an instant. he dug in his brain, scooping innards of himself out, yet found nothing. he found blank spots. he found mushed memories. they were not even memories, but, perhaps, large swaths of the earth spinning over time. there was no stop and no end. it was only himself. it was himself. it was not his mother. she was gone.
hunji slumped in his chair. he did not think of how his mother would call him to sit up. he did not think of how he should sit straight so he would not grow hunched over. he, all at once, did not care.
have i been this angry. . . for so long. . . is that why i hit max?
hunji winced at the thought.
he took a look around the party. it was as if he had paused everything to think, and then, when he was done, he pressed play, and the party lit once more.
his eyes scanned the room thoroughly. there was nothing different. there was nothing different at all. not one new candle. not one new guest. yet, hunji felt, his world was flipped upside down.
one year ago, he lost everything he had. he lost his mother. he thought he would die. he thought he ought to die. but, here he sat, alive, in a company grooming him for success, surrounded by people he could speak to.
he was alive.
he was okay.
he never thought he would be himself. he never thought he would have a chance to be so calm, and so peaceful, ever again.
dad was caring for the girls. hana chose to do the laundry. hunji was able to practice, to perform, without any worry of who would die and who would survive. everyone was just. . . okay.
his eyes loomed over the crowd. he wanted to see max. even if he saw yeseo with max, hunji thought, he would not mind. he would be jealous, a little, but nothing close to how he felt before. he blushed at the embarrassment of his previous words.
then, his eyes befell him.
max stood. he did nothing but stand, and joke with someone, yet, he captivated hunji. it was like he was seeing his soulmate for the first time.
he stood from his lonely chair. he pushed it in. he excused himself from the lonely bubble.
mom would love to see max now-. . . but she will not. she can’t. maybe that is okay. she has missed max before. . . what is one more event?
he walked towards him. he could see every hair, every thread, of his costume. hunji’s jaw dropped as he approached. could max be so ethereal? he deeply wanted to hold his friend. he wanted to kiss him then and there. he could not. it would be rude.
i wish mother could see him-. . . but she can not. . . and that will be just fine.
word count: 942
points: +8 lyric writing, +2 notoriety
Max Choi. That name elicited a different reaction from Seojin the more time went on. One year ago, he found him to be nothing more than an annoyance, an unwilling tag along he wanted to avoid at all costs. The last six months saw greater changes. Outside looking in, one would have never expected Seojin’s point of view toward the younger trainee to shift in any sort of positive direction. Not with the harsh criticisms during training or the offhanded comments.
( Granted, all were for Max’s benefit. No one knew exactly why Seojin went so head first into the tough love approach. Maybe he wanted to see if the other wold be worth the effort. )
Needless to say, the shift in opinion began the moment he stepped away from Project Origin. He narrowly avoided being placed in the temporary debut group. Others would take his place, his lines, his position in the tiresome choreography. There wasn’t much to take concern with other than the inflammatory comments from netizens.
What Seojin didn’t expect was Max stepping forward to take one of the places. He was reluctant to congratulate him. He avoided doing so in person when the teasers were released, avoided sending a message for congratulation. What sort of role model was he trying to be? At this rate, he should throw in the towel.
However, another opportunity would present itself in an unexpected way.
Seojin hung back next to the stage entrance, arms folded over his chest as he watched the Legacy Boys put on their performance. He was thankful for his lack of regret. He wondered if he stayed, would Max be shining so brightly on stage the way he was right now? After all the gripes he directed at the trainee, his stage presence and talent with rap was a force to be reckoned with. Seojin focused too much on his faults to acknowledge what the younger did have.
When the members finally departed from the stage, Seojin stood back to talk to Max in particular. ( The members he considered friends could wait. )
“Max. You did well up there.” He bit back an ‘I guess’ to drive home his sincerity. It was the least he could do for once.
gently, the door handle turned, and closed. hunji was gone, and now max and benji were left alone in their living area. benji stood at the stove, cooking just the two of them dinner on a sunday evening.
benji shook his head as he looked down into the swirling stew before him. he had wanted to say it for a long time, but never knew how. this time, rather than thinking, he let his tongue roll along as gently and calmly as possible. he knew perfectly well than when someone is in a toxic relationship, that person never wants to admit to it. it would take some hammering to make max understand how bad hunji might be to him.
“ya know, max, that hunji guy. . . he always seems kinda tired, don’t’cha think?” benji looked up from the food and his eyes peeked at max. he was off to a bad start, and he knew, with ever tip toe of his voice, he needed to be careful in his phrasing.
“and-. . . doesn’t he, kinda, make everyone else tired too? maybe you should, ya’ know, try to live life without him for a bit.” he kept his head low.
his shoulders would rise, tense up, and then he would remember to keep his cool. he pushed them back down again. he sighed. saying such a thing to max, that this guy’s “bestest” friend was bad for him, was not going to be taken over well. benji, unsure of max’s reaction, or the conversation they would have, he wanted to stop talking. he braced himself for the worst. however, once he had started letting his mouth do the work, he could not stop it.
“he just seems. . . kinda boring, right? tired, boring? i guess i just don’t see the appeal to. . . giving any of myself to him, much less all of myself.”
eunji searched for max. she just got her food, and plenty of it, and was on the hunt. she leaned, she searched, her eyes practically fell out of her head from bouncing around so much. then, she saw it, the back of that poor man’s head.
“oh, maxwell!” like snow white her voice rang through the otherwise quiet and calm dining hall. her face lit up like the sun peering from behind dark, grey clouds. she knew he hated hearing that name, but she adored it. everyone else sucked up to him and just called him max, but not her. she was a rule follower most of the time, but when it came to getting a reaction, there were no rules at all.
she waltzed right up next to him and his friends at the table. she rammed the side of her hip right into his shoulder, “hey, maxwell, don’t tell me this seat is taken.” whether or not it was, she sat down. she pulled up her spoon and chopsticks, and like the ever annoying little sister she was, she took a liking to all of max’s friends too.
“sooooo, what are we talking about? oh! max,” her tone excitedly jumped from a ten to an eleven, “what happened when you went to that fancy meeting? did you get,” she dramatically leaned in, “fired?”
