Shell Shock
Author’s Note: I DID IT I FINISHED IT!!!!! I’ve read it so many times I can’t tell if I like it anymore so I figured it was time to quit wokring on it and post it. Pairing: Eugene Sledge x reader. Word Count: 10.1k Summary: Y/N Phillips deals with scars the war left on her brother and her best friend. MASTERLIST
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“Sidney!” I screeched over the crowd when I spotted his mop of blonde hair, “Sidney Phillips, get your scrawny ass over here!”
As soon as he spotted me, he came pushing through the crowd to get to me. I let out an excited squeal when he got close enough for me to throw my arms around his neck. He immediately hoisted me up off the ground in a bone-crushing hug.
“ God, you smell!” I winced as he pulled me in closer, “More than usual.”
“Hi big brother, I missed you, glad you’re okay.” He mocked in a high pitch voice as he jostled me about.
“Just wanted to make sure you knew that nothin’ around here changed without you, that’s all.” I grinned as he set me back on the ground. I smoothed my hands over his jacket before patting him on the chest,
“All in one piece?”
He nodded. Though I could see a bruise poking out from behind the few strands of hair that flopped in front of his face. My lips pursed as I brushed the hair away, fingertips ghosting over the bruise. He let out a hiss,
“What happened there?”
“I uh…” He paused, trying to disguise the grin that was tugging at the corners of his lips, “Had too much to drink on the train, fell and bashed my head.”
“Sidney.” I scolded, shaking my head at him, “Survive the war just to crack your head open the day you get home?”
He shrugged.
“How’s Eugene?” I asked, my gaze shifting to my feet.
Eugene, Sid, and I had all grown up together, getting into all kinds of trouble, lying about being at each other’s houses while we played in the woods together, coming home covered in mud and bruises.
“He just left and you’re already worried ‘bout that boy?”
“It’s Eugene. Of course I’m worried ‘bout him.”
Sid rolled his eyes at me,
“He’s a clutz, Sid. He’s gonna… I don’t know… Fall on his own grenade or something.”
Sidney threw back his head and laughed,
“Totally not worried ‘bout him ‘cause you’ve been chasin’ after him since you were 12.”
I scoffed, elbowing him in the stomach. He chuckled, looping his arm through mine and leading me out of the crowd.
“Oh please, if anythin’ he’s be chasin’ me.” I retorted, “Besides,I’ll have you know that I have a boyfriend now.”
“I’m gonna go kick his ass.”
“You don’t even know who it is.” I laughed.
He shook his head, reaching into his pocket for his lighter and a lone cigarette. He popped it between his lips as he flipped the lighter open,
“Don’t have to know who it is to want to kick his ass.” He replied, turning the wheel on the lighter a few times before it finally sparked a flame, “Who's the unlucky fella?”
I shot him a glare,
“It’s Jimmy,” I told him, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Jimmy Amos? From down the street? That Jimmy?”
I nodded,
“That guys a creep.”
“Sidney, he’s nice.”
He scrunched up his nose and shook his head, poking his tongue out for dramatic effect.
“You’re my brother, you’re not supposed to like my boyfriends.” I retorted.
“There’s only one boy you could date that I would be okay-”
“I’m not goin’out with Eugene!”
“You just wait n see, the Marines’ll get him in tip top shape, and you’ll be all over him when he comes home.”
I scoffed, pulling him away from the route we would usually take to walk home to the lot where I parked the car.
“Don’t tell me you’re drivin’ now.” He beamed at me as I pulled the car keys from my pocket, “I’ve avoided getting killed for a whole fuckin’ year and you’re gonna kill me before I even set foot in my own house.”
He held out his hand for the keys,
“I’ll have you know I’m an excellent driver, Sidney.” I retorted as I threw the keys to him.
Our papa had passed before Sidney was deployed and it sent our mama into such a state that we couldn't take care of her ourselves anymore. She lived in a home not far outside of town where she would have constant care and watch. When Sidney left, she became completely despondent, refusing to eat for days on end, refusing to even talk. My visits only seemed to distress her more, according to the staff. They even suggested that I stop coming because her hunger strikes always came after I left. The house was empty without her and though Sidney coming home should’ve made it feel less lonely, it somehow amplified how quiet the place was. Usually, when Sidney and I got home from school, mama would already be cooking away, the sounds of a knife on a cutting board or the water on to boil would echo from the kitchen. But now the only sound was Sidney’s duffel hitting the hardwood floor with a thunk.
“How is mama?” He asked, taking off his jacket and folding it neatly over his arm.
I let out a sigh, setting my purse down on the counter and slipping off my shoes,
“She got worse when you left, but I reckon she’ll perk right up when she sees you.”
“She got worse? Why didn’t you tell me?” He questioned.
“And then what, Sidney? Have you stuck over there worryin’ ‘bout her and not bein’ able to do anythin’ ‘bout it?”
He opened his mouth to protest but quickly shook his head. He draped his jacket over the back of a dining room chair before wandering into the kitchen and opening the fridge. He pulled out a beer and popped the cap off with his teeth, making me wince.
“That can’t be good for you.”
He shrugged, spitting the cap onto the counter before sipping on the beer and making his way to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and the telltale squeak of the shower turning on made me laugh and shake my head.
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The first time I heard Sid have a nightmare, it gave me such a fright that I rolled out of my bed and onto the floor. Though luckily, the sound of my bones bruising on the hardwood and the endless string of cursing that flew from my mouth pulled him from his nightmare and into my room. Despite the darkness of the room, I could tell his blue eyes were wide and frantic as he scrambled over to me, kneeling beside me on the floor,
“You alright?” He asked.
“You’re askin’ me?” I winced as I sat up, the pain in my arm shooting up to my shoulder.
“Yeah! You were shoutin’ words mama would have you wash out your mouth with soap if she could hear you,” He replied.
“Sidney. You were screamin’, christ, I thought somebody had broken in or somethin’!” I replied, holding onto my bicep as the pain got worse.
“It’s just… nightmare… that’s all.” He murmured, reaching to rest his hand on my arm, making me yelp in pain.
He reached up onto my bedside table to flick on the lamp. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair stood on end from all the tossing and turning he had been doing.
“Sidney… maybe it’s… what’re they callin’ it now? The thing daddy had for a while....”
He sighed, crossing his legs as he settled himself on the floor beside me.
“It’s not... it’s not shell shock.” He muttered, running a hand over his wild hair.
“They don’t call it that anymore Sid, they call it somethin’ else.”
He stared at me for a moment before taking a look at my arm that was already starting to bruise,
“Come on, let’s get you some ice.”
He helped me off the floor and led me into the kitchen, taking a tea towel and filling it with ice cubes. I hopped up to sit on the counter, holding the ice to my arm. He turned away from me, leaning on the counter and staring out the window above the kitchen sink. The wind blew the windchimes mama collected against the side of the house, making Sidney jump.
“Sid, there’s nothin’ to be ashamed of if-”
“Y/N. I told you. It’s not shell shock. My dream wasn’t even ‘bout that.” He shouted as he spun around to face me.
I could tell he was lying, he always pursed his lips and rubbed the back of his neck when he lied, and that’s exactly what he was doing now.
“Sid. You’ve had plenty of nightmares as a kid, came to sleep in my bed a few times, that wasn’t like any nightmare you’ve had before.” I murmured.
“Just drop it. I’m fine!” He barked.
The words echoed through the empty house, sending a pang of pain through my heart. The sudden hostility in his tone made me wince and shy away from him. I slid off the counter, dumping the remainder of the ice cubes into the sink before going to bed. All I wanted to do was help him and he wanted to be difficult. Though that was the story of Sidney’s life.
The next nightmare I heard, I was out of my bed in a flash,
“Sidney! Sidney! Wake up!” I shouted as I sprinted down the hall and into his bedroom.
Once I reached his door, I yanked it open and scrabbled to his bedside, grabbing him by the arm. He yanked his arm away hard enough to throw me off balance before throwing a fist into my nose. I staggered backward, holding onto my now bleeding nose while Sidney continued his nightmare.
He was screaming ‘no’ over and over again, asking for more ammo, asking for the corman over and over and over and over again.
“Sidney!” I hollered, my voice nasally as my nose was still pouring blood, “Sid!”
He seemed to snap out of it after I hollered at him,
“Sid it’s okay, you’re safe. Just lay down.”
To my surprise, he followed my order, laying back down and clutching his pillow to his chest.
I let out a sigh as I collected myself off the floor, retreating to the bathroom to shove a hunk of toilet paper up my nose until the bleeding stopped. The blood had dripped down onto my nightdress, staining the ivory fabric. I groaned, slipping it off my head and running the stains under water until they had mostly disappeared. I draped the fabric over the shower curtain to let it dry while I shuffled back to bed.
The next morning I was sat at the dining room table with a cup of coffee when Sid emerged from his bedroom.
“Christ! What the hell happened to you!?” Sidney exclaimed when he caught a look at my face. I hadn’t bothered to look in the mirror yet that morning, knowing that it would look just as horrible as it felt. The whole center of my face was throbbing,
“Nothin’, Sid. Don’t worry about it.” I muttered against the edge of my coffee cup. I knew he wouldn’t accept this answer, but also knew telling him what happened would only make him feel guilty.
“Who the hell did this to you? Was it that pervert down the street? I told you he was bad news, I swear to God I’m gonna…” He trailed off, rolling up the sleeve of his shirt and retrieving his gun from its holster that hung on the coat rack.
“Christ, Sidney! Put the gun away, what the hell are you doin!?” I hollered, a wave of shock crashing over me. Sidney before the war was prickly, sure, but he certainly wouldn’t go marching over there with a gun. He checked the clip of the gun before reaching for the doorknob.
“Sidney!” I hollered, “Sid! It wasn’t Jimmy.”
I strode towards him, placing my hand on top of his right hand, the one that held the gun.
“Then who the hell was it!? I’m gonna go give them a piece of my mind.” He growled, “And don’t tell me some dumb shit like you fell. Mama used to fall all the time.”
Our father had served in World War I. According to mama, something in him broke when he was over there that never quite mended itself. More than once as I kid I could remember a screaming match punctuated by a thud of a body hitting a wall or a piece of furniture only for us to find our mother covered in bruises the next morning. Sidney wasn’t denying shell shock because he didn’t want to be seen as weak, he was denying it because he didn’t want to be compared in any way to the man that hurt his mother over and over again.
“Sid, it was you,” I admitted, getting the gun in my grasp and pulling it away from him gently. I emptied the clip before tucking it back into the holster.
His brows furrowed as he stared down at me,
“I… when?”
“You were having a nightmare and I was tryna wake you up and…”
He shook his head, placing it in his hands before rubbing them through his hair,
“Sidney, it’s alright, you didn’t mean to.” I soothed, placing a hand on his shoulder only for him to wince away from my touch, “Sid.”
He cleared his throat in an attempt to hide the tears that were brimming in his eyes,
“I gotta… uh… I’m… I’m gonna go…”
“Sidney.”
He left in a hurry, jumping to the car and speeding off down the driveway before I could talk any sense into him. I went to bed that night before he had returned, though the worry kept me awake until his headlights flashed across the wall in my bedroom.
The whimpering started not long after the screen door to the porch slammed shut. I crept out of my room and down the hall towards his. His bedroom reeked of alcohol and I silently cursed him for being stupid enough to drive home drunk. But the anger subsided as I saw him writhing around in the bed, his brows knit together, fists clenching the sheets.
“Sidney.” I breathed, sitting down on the edge of his bed.
The mattress springs creaked under my weight, making me wince,
“Sidney. It’s me. It’s your sister.” I murmured, not daring to touch him this time for fear of taking another fist to the nose, “Sidney… it’s Y/N.”
My name fell from his lips softly in a tone of confusion,
“Yeah, Sid. It’s me. Sidney, you’re at home. You’re in your room in Mobile. You’re home. You’re safe.”
His breathing seemed to slow the more I talked to him,
“You’re in your own bed, still got all the baseball posters up in your room, the one of Joe DiMaggio, we always joke that his face is like he just smelled a real bad fart, remember?” I giggled to myself at the memory. It was in fact Eugene that had pointed it out in the first place, so now whenever I saw a picture of Joe DiMaggio, that’s all I could think of.
Sidney finally settled in bed, sinking back into the mattress and letting out a sigh. I too let a sigh fall from my lips as I cautiously stood up and tiptoed back to my own room.
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The day Eugene arrived home, I hadn’t even noticed him walking in behind Sidney. He said he was making a run for a few groceries so I asked him for some ingredients for dinner.
“Did you get the parsley and the butter?” I hollered, not bothering to look up from the book I was reading.
“They were all out so I got you something better,” Sid replied.
I furrowed my brows in confusion as I looked up at him. Behind him stood Eugene in his uniform. When my eyes met his, he removed his hat and offered me a grin. I all but threw my book into the air as I sprinted towards him and threw my arms around his neck. He staggered back a few steps as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“You’re choking me, darlin’.” He chuckled as he tried to pull away.
“That’s what you get for surprisin’ me like this!” I scolded as I pulled away to study his expression. He had a spattering of facial hair now, it suited him surprisingly well despite his otherwise babyish face.
“You’re…” He began only to pause with his mouth hanging open, eyes scanning over my face.
“I’m…?” I prodded, raising an eyebrow at him.
A flush grew across his cheeks,
“A sight for sore eyes,” He settled, letting his hands drop from my back to rest on my waist. I rested my hands on his shoulders, smoothing them over the lapels of his jacket. The look he was giving me was far more tender than one would use to greet a friend, but Sidney interjected, ruining the moment.
“Get a room.” Sidney scoffed, taking the case of beer and grocery bag he held and plopping them on the counter, “Beer?”
Eugene relinquished his grip on my hips, stepping aside to take the bottle his friend was offering him, though his shoulder still brushed with mine, the both of us leaning back against the counter.
“Eugene agreed to be my best man.” Sidney beamed.
“Gene, you don’t wanna touch this wedding, trust me. Mary’s been draggin’ me all over town lookin’ at dresses and cakes and flowers and venues and shoes and salons and more dresses.” I rambled, taking Sidney’s beer from his hand and taking a swig.
He let out a whine,
“Thought you didn’t want one?”
“Thinkin’ ‘bout you gettin’ married is enough to make a girl need a drink.” I punctuated this statement by taking another sip of his beer. He rolled his eyes, making his way into the kitchen to grab another beer to replace the one I stole.
Eugene let out a breathy chuckle, beer bottle against his lips.
“He told me he’s marryin’ Mary Houston, is that true?” Eugene asked.
“Somehow.” I retorted.
“Must’ve really lowered her standards,” Eugene smirked.
I nodded in agreement, clinking our beer bottles together,
“That’s what I’m sayin’. I keep trying to talk her out of it, but she’s beyond reason at this point.”
“Sidney’s brainwashed her.” Eugene joked, taking another swig from his beer.
“There’s really no other explanation.”
Sidney opened his mouth to reply but instead shook his head.
“I’ve forgotten how mean you two are when you get together.” He motioned between us with his beer, “Downright vicious.”
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The first time I heard Eugene have a nightmare, he had passed out on my couch after spending too much time drinking with Sid. Mary and I were at the kitchen table, laughing about how dorky the two of them were in high school. Sidney had long since excused himself to go up to bed, leaving the two of us in the dining room to chat.
It started as faint whimpers, short gasps, and shallow breaths. Mary and I both perked up at the noise, the two of us accustomed to dealing with Sidney. It soon became clear that the ragged breaths weren’t coming from their bedroom. She nodded towards the living room, silently telling me to go investigate.
“Gene?” I murmured as I stepped into the living room.
He was writhing on the couch, his forehead slickened with sweat. His teeth were clenched so tight that I could see the muscles in his jaw bulging despite how much he was wiggling around. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, gripping onto his wrinkled shirt with white knuckles.
I eased myself onto the couch beside him, resting my hand gently on his shoulder,
“Gene.” I repeated, just as soft as the first time, “Genie.”
He woke with a start and a gasp, grabbing onto my forearm with an iron grasp.
“Gene.” I repeated, “Gene it’s me, it’s Y/N. Your best friend Sidney’s little sister.”
His eyes scanned my face rapidly, as if he was trying to figure out if I was real.
“Gene, you’re hurtin’ my arm.”
I grazed my hand over his wrist, making him ease his grip, though he still clung onto me,
“Gene.” I repeated, resting my hand on his knee, “Gene you’re home. You’re at Sidney and Mary’s house.”
“Sidney…” He breathed, “Y/N and Sidney.”
I nodded, offering him a faint smile. He let out a breath, letting go of my wrist and sitting up. He readjusted to sit with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. In the dim light, I could see how much he truly changed while he was away. His shirts used to consume his body, his slight frame getting lost in the fabric. He was still thin as a rail, though his arms now filled out the sleeves which were pushed up over his elbows, revealing new scars that littered his fair skin.
I scooted closer to him, enough so that our knees bumped into each other. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, rubbing them reassuringly,
“Why don’t I walk you home, Eugene?” I offered, “Get you in your own bed?”
He rubbed his eyes softly before standing up off the couch. I followed behind him, slipping my shoes back on before heading to the front door, giving Mary a wave over my shoulder.
I hooked my arm through Eugene’s as we stepped out onto the porch. The cool fall breeze struck us, making us both wince momentarily as a slew of leaves swirled around our feet.
His cheeks took up an unmissable red tone as he led the way down the steps. I hopped off the next to last one like we used to do when we were kids, making him grin as my heels roughly hit the pavement with a clack.
For the first couple moments of our stroll down the driveway, the only sound was the crunch of our feet in the leaves and the click of my heels on the pavement.
“I thought ‘bout you a lot.” He broke the silence.
“Yeah?”
He hummed in acknowledgment, tucking his hands into his pockets.
“What ‘bout me?” I pressed, studying his expression.
He pursed his lips together for a moment, brows knit together as he pondered the question.
“Just… you…”
“That really clears things up for me, thanks, Genie.” I grinned, bumping my shoulder with his playfully.
“Well… I don’t… I don’t know just…” He stammered, “Thinkin’ ‘bout you… Gave me a reason to want to come home, is all.”
The words sent a pang of pain through my heart. I pressed my shoulder tighter against his.
“Sorry I didn’t write you more, just… everything I did write got all wet from the rain. Figured you wouldn’t want a muddy letter with smeared writin’.”
“Rather that than not hearin’ from you for months on end.” I murmured.
The silence returned after that, a little more stiff as we made our way down the block. My gaze was held firmly ahead of me, though Eugene’s scanned everywhere around us. The sudden yap of a dog made us both jump.
“Mr. Wellman still live in that house?” He asked.
“Yeah, don’t think you’d be able to convince him to leave, not even in his coffin.”
“And that damn dog of his is still alive?” He quipped.
“It’s got to be older than us at this point.” I retorted.
The barking faded the further we tread past Mr.Wellman’s house, the atmosphere filling with silence once more. The closer we got to home, though, the slower we seemed to walk. We eventually made it to my driveway, signifying that Eugene’s was just two houses down. I intended to keep on walking, only to be yanked back when he stopped in front of my drive.
“Gene, thought I was walkin’ you home, not the other way ‘round.”
“Can’t have you makin’ the trip back from my house to here by yourself, not at this time of night.”
“It’s just two driveways over, silly.” I grinned.
He shook his head, giving me a firm tug back towards my own driveway.
“It’s a shame you’ve got this place all to yourself now.”
The house was way more than I needed, especially now that Sidney had moved out. I had considered selling the place, but the house was left to Mama after dad died, and there was no way in hell she was going to agree to sell the house Sidney and I grew up in.
“It gets a little lonely,” I admitted, “But I brought in one of those stray cats mama would never let me keep.”
“The gray stripey one or the orange fluffy one?” He asked, making me flash him a toothy grin.
“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?”
“I just… the fact that you remember all the strays I told you about.” I let out a breathy laugh, shaking my head, “The orange fluffy one. Reminds me of my favorite ginger. His name is Rivers.”
He shook his head as we made our way up the front steps of the house. As I dug in my purse for the keys, he had already reached on top of the doorframe for the spare and unlocked it for me. He opened the door for me, allowing me to step in first before setting the key back in its not so secret hiding spot.
I flipped on the entryway light before shrugging off my jacket, draping it on the back of one of the dining room chairs. Eugene hovered behind me, watching as I slipped off my shoes and tucked them into the closet, grabbing a hanger for my coat before putting it away as well.
He was glancing between me and the door, rocking awkwardly on his heels.
“I bet your mama wants you home,” I commented.
He nodded, wringing his hands awkwardly and scuffling his boots across the floor. Something was bothering him about being home, but I didn’t want to press him on it.
“If you want, Gene, you can crash in Sid’s room. Gotta put the sheets on the bed bu-”
“Oh, no, no it’s fine. I don’t want to be a bother I ca-”
“Eugene. You’re not a bother.” I insisted, grabbing his wrist and leading him down the hall towards Sid’s room, stopping by the linen closet for a fresh set of sheets along the way. I went to unfold them, but he stopped me,
“The least I can do is make my own bed.” He said, taking the sheets from me.
I gave him a nod, wandering into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth while he got his bed set. When I was finished, he had stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and was crawling into bed. Rivers was sat at the foot of the bed, purring and kneading at the blankets while Eugene slid under them.
“I guess he likes you.” I smiled, watching as Rivers pawed at Eugene’s feet through the blanket. Eugene wiggled his toes, making Rivers pounce on his feet. I smiled at the two of them, leaning against the doorframe.
“Night, Y/N.” Eugene smiled.
I woke the next morning to find Sidney’s room empty, besides Rivers who sat perfectly in the center of the neatly made bed. Eugene’s shoes and jacket were gone, he must’ve left before I woke up. I wandered into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee to see that there was already a freshly made pot sitting on the heated plate. A mug sat beside it with two spoonfuls of sugar in the bottom, just the way I like my coffee. I poured myself a mug and made my way to the front porch to grab the paper and relax in the early morning sun. Before I could reach to unlock the front door, there was a knock. I jumped back slightly before peering through the peephole.
Jimmy was standing on the other side of the door, fists clenched and jaw tense. I furrowed my brows as I unlocked the door and pulled it open.
“Everything alr-”
“I saw you and Eugene on a little stroll last night. Saw him leave early this mornin’.” He snarled, fire behind his usually soft gaze.
“Yeah he stayed over last night-” I began, initially confused at his hostility as I looked him up at down. I had never seen this level of rage out of him. It was then that I realized the implications of the situation. Eugene and I walking home arm in arm last night, him staying the night and leaving as early as possible in the morning.
“You’re not even gonna deny it?”
“What’s there to deny?” I scoffed, spinning on my heels and heading into the house, leaving the door open for him to follow me inside, not wanting to air our dirty laundry to the entire neighborhood.
“Did you give him a welcome home celebration?” He interrogated, slamming the front door behind him, making me jump and sending coffee sloshing over the sides of my mug. I hissed as the liquid burned my hand. I made my way to the dining room to set the hot mug on the table.
“Jesus Christ, Ji-” I began only for him to grab my wrist and spin me around to face him.
He towered over me, chest puffed out. I found myself subconsciously backing away. He continued to stalk toward me until my back hit the dining room hutch, sending the dishes rattling.
“Well, did you?”
“Why’s it any of your concern if I did?” I hollered, “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, James.”
He slammed his hands onto the hutch, making me wince and the dishes rattle once more. With the hutch behind me, he had me trapped against it with his arms. His chest heaved with every breath, the occasional low grumble coming from his throat while he considered what to say.
“Are you implying that I’m jealous of that pansy?” He asked with a menacing chuckle.
“He’s a better man than you’ll ever be.” I retorted, straightening my back so I was eye to eye with him. I tested his indignation, trying to push his arm away so I could step around him. He grabbed me by the hip and forced my back against the hutch. I planted my hands on his shoulders to push him away, but he grabbed me by the cheeks with one hand, his fingers digging into my skin.
“You belong to me, understand?”
The screen door slammed shut, followed by Sidney hollering for me to get out of bed. Jimmy thought fast, keeping his grip on my face as he leaned in to kiss me. His hips met mine roughly, his free hand coming to push up the hem of my nightgown. He knew that if Sidney found him hovering over me as aggressively as he was, Sid would have a bullet in his back before he could think. Better him to find us tangled in an awkward kiss, at least then he’d get the hell out of here as soon as possible.
“Jesus!” Sidney hollered as he rounded the corner, “In the dining room, really!?”
I couldn’t see him around Jimmy, but I could imagine him with his hands over his eyes, cheeks bright red.
I planted my hands on Jimmy’s chest to shove him away, but he still held my face in an uncomfortable grip as he continued to kiss me. I bit down on his tongue, making him let out a cry of pain. It distracted him long enough for me to shove him away. He staggered back into one of the dining room chairs.
“Get the fuck out of here, James.” I spat, hastily pulling my nightgown back into place.
“Oh, come on, sweetheart, don’t be like that,” Jimmy smirked, taking a step towards me with his arm outstretched. I quickly slapped it away.
“What’s goin’ on?” Sidney asked, studying my face for any clue as to what he had just witnessed.
“Don’t worry ab-” Jimmy began.
“I’m not askin’ you.” Sidney snapped, shooting a Jimmy a glare before his gaze fell back on me.
“James is no longer welcome here.” I spat, crossing my arms over my chest.
Sidney nodded, grabbing Jimmy by the shoulder of his shirt and dragging him towards the front door. I turned to face the hutch, placing my hands on it so I could catch my breath. My heart was beating out of my chest, thinking of all the possible things that could’ve happened had Sidney not walked in. Sidney’s soft threats couldn’t quite meet my ears, but the way the door slammed told me that Jimmy probably got the gist. Sidney was back in the dining room in an instant,
“What the hell was that?” He asked, “You alright?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” I sighed, turning around to face him.
He knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t. He strode towards me, pulling me into a tight hug. I settled my head against his shoulder,
“I told you he was a creep.” He murmured, rubbing my back reassuringly.
“The last thing I need to hear right now is ‘I told you so’, Sid.” I breathed.
“Sorry.” He murmured, “Wanna talk about it?”
“He’s a jealous, controlling, bastard,” I replied.
“Well, I could’ve told you that.”
That earned him a punch to the chest,
“Ow! Okay, sorry, sorry.”
I held onto him a little while longer, feeling more grounded when I finally pulled away to look at him.
“What brings you over so early?” I asked.
“Mary needs last-minute wedding help.”
I let out an annoyed huff. The wedding was in two days and she was bustling around like crazy trying to get things in order.
“With what?”
He scoffed and shrugged,
“Wont tell me.”
“Probably her dress then.” I breathed, stepping past him, “I’ll get some clothes on.”
Sidney watched me as I made my way towards the bedroom.
“If you’re...uh… not up to it… I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“A distraction will do me good,” I replied.
He offered a sad smile, tucking his hands into his pockets.
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I met Eugene at the door just outside the church, the tulle from my dress ruffling with every step I took. I was the first of the bridesmaids to escape the dressing room, growing tired of my hair getting tugged on and dress being adjusted.
“Wow… You uh… you look…” Eugene began, looking me up and down as he tucked his hands into his pockets.
“Like a clown?” I interjected, tugging on the overly poofy sleeve of the silky blue dress.
“The prettiest clown I’ve ever seen,” Sidney announced as he came around the corner in his tux while he tucked his cufflinks into place.
“I love your bride dearly, but as soon as this wedding is over, I’m burning this dress.” Sidney laughed as he adjusted his tie.
The ceremony went off without a hitch, though I’m sure I only survived the drawn-out process by making goofy faces back and forth with Eugene. Afterward, the wedding party and guests went to Sidney and Mary’s house for the reception. I escaped into the backyard to avoid any more questions from family about when I was finally going to tie the knot. I let out a sigh as I sank down onto the bench on the patio, my dress letting out a puff of air as I did so. The crash of the screen door slamming shut alerted me to Eugene’s presence. He pulled his pipe from his pocket as he meandered over to me and plopped down beside me.
“Hidin’ from Aunt Martha?” He asked, “Ran out here pretty quick once you got away from her.”
“I love her dearly, but I swear to god if she asks me one more time about gettin’ married I’m gonna knock her teeth out.” I groaned, throwing my head back to rest it on the back of the bench.
“Sid told me you’ve got new beau,” Gene muttered around his pipe, taking in a puff of smoke.
“Jimmy?” I questioned. Sidney must not have told Eugene about the day he had to throw Jimmy out of my house. I was grateful for that, though, having both him and Eugene mad about it was just asking for trouble.
He nodded,
“Boy who used to pull your pigtails in kindergarten.” He mumbled, his lips forming a tight line.
“And you’d always straighten ‘em for me.” I laughed under my breath at the memory. Once I got Jimmy to let go, Eugene would come up behind me and tighten the ribbons that held my hair atop my head.
“Haven’t seen Jimmy in a couple weeks. Don’t think I’ll be seein’ him again.” I sighed.
“Yeah? Why not?”
“He just… really got shoutin’ at me and scared me half to death.” I admitted, staring at my hands that were neatly folded in my lap.
“What happened?”
“He just… I don’t know… I… I guess I… I…” I stammered, shaking my head, “It’s nothin’ Genie, don’t worry ‘bout it.”
“Said he scared you half to death, think I ought to be worried.” He insisted, leaning forward in an attempt to catch my gaze, but it stayed fixed on my lap.
“He… he said somethin’ ‘bout you… he’s jealous. Got in my face, shoutin’ at me, backed me into a corner and… I thought to God he was gonna hit me.” I breathed.
Eugene tucked his pipe into the front pocket of his shirt, letting out a sigh as he scooted closer to me on the bench. He threw an arm around my shoulder, pulling me against his side. I grabbed his hand where it rested on my shoulder, toying with the ring on his finger.
“We were never goin’ steady or anythin’ so I’m not that upset about breakin’ it off but… Just scared me, is all.”
I stared at his hand for a moment, noticing the scars and calluses that now littered them. I found myself running my fingers over them softly. It used to be that the only scrapes on his hands were from tumbles he took off of his bike, blisters from playing too much baseball with Sidney, rope burns from the tire swing in the back yard. But these cuts were deeper and more sinister. I turned back towards him, realizing how close we truly were. My nose almost ran into his as my gaze flitted up to meet his.
I nudged my nose closer, bumping into his on purpose this time. His breath fanned across my face as he closed the gap between us. The kiss was chaste, innocent, and sweet, though it lingered a moment longer than it probably should have. I would’ve followed his lips as he pulled away if it weren’t for the figure standing just behind the screen door.
“Please tell me I just saw what I think I just saw.” Sidney sounded, holding a couple of glasses of champagne. Mary was behind him, laughing behind her hand at the situation.
If this had happened years ago, Eugene would’ve scrambled away from me like his life depended on it. But now, he held his position, arm tightly wrapped around my shoulder. The burn in my cheeks was nearly unbearable as Sidney sauntered over to us, handing the both of us a drink. He let a scowl linger on his friend for a moment before a smirk grew across his face,
“‘Bout damn time, dumbass.” He quipped, ruffling Eugene’s hair, “But uh, hey, don’t let the guests see ya, can’t take any attention away from this one.” He pointed over his shoulder, “She’ll get cranky.”
“Even more cranky if you don’t come dance with me, Sidney!” She scolded, dragging him back inside.
Once they were out of sight, Eugene’s eyes met mine, leaning in for another, less chaste kiss. He nipped at my bottom lip, hand resting on my cheek to hold me in place. I pulled away, feeling a burn creep onto my cheeks. I studied his face for a moment, noting the red smudge that he had across his upper lip. A smile tugged at my lips as I licked the pad of my thumb and ran it across his skin.
“I got lipstick on you.”
As I continued to swipe at the stain, he pressed a kiss to my thumb before taking my hand in his, peppering kisses across my finger. My heart flipped over in my chest as I watched him carefully press a kiss to each finger before pressing one to the back of my hand. He brought my hand to rest in his lap as he stared at me.
“What did I do to deserve that?” I breathed.
“I’ve been in love with you since we were 12, think it’s about time I showed it.”
Nearly every night for the next few weeks, Eugene spent at my house. Every night he tried to convince me to let him sleep in Sid’s room, and every night I told him to get his ass into bed. At first, I assumed it was just him attempting to be chivalrous, not invade my space too much. But I soon came to learn that he had some form of nightmare every night. For his sake, I tried to pretend that they didn’t wake me up. But when he came out of his dreams crying and shaking, I couldn’t help but roll over and wrap my arms around him, ruining the facade.
One morning we woke up with far fewer clothes on than we went to bed with. The night before was agonizingly slow, not with the purpose to tease, but rather from hesitation. Every move of the hand was accompanied with “is this okay?” every touch of lips to skin was followed by “are you sure?”
Though the answer was always yes, he kept asking anyway. It was one of the rare nights he didn’t have a nightmare, though I was convinced that was because he was up half the night watching me sleep.
I awoke to the morning sunrise showing through the sheer curtains and lit a strip across Eugene as he slept. I laid on my back, his body partially draped over mine, arm across my chest protectively. His hair that was usually neatly swept to the side now stuck to his face in small clumps, poking up at odd angles. I let out a sigh, reaching for his hand and toying with his glass ring until he started to stir. He let out a soft huff, nuzzling deeper into my side before letting out a groan.
“Good morning.” I breathed, pressing a kiss to his temple.
“Coffee?” He mumbled, tucking his nose into my neck and pressing a kiss there.
“You have to let me get up before I can make coffee.”
Another groan fell from his lips as he somehow made his body heavier against mine. The remainder of the morning was spent giving lazy kisses, fingertips ghosting over each other’s skin as we both faded in and out of sleep.
Once he had his coffee, though, he was endearingly bashful the rest of the day, his cheeks going red at the slightest touch. I let my hand linger on his when I passed him his coffee, turning his cheeks as red as his hair.
That night was the first night I didn’t have to coax him to sleep in the same bed as me. Instead, he fell in behind me, draping a hand over my waist. I grabbed it, squeezing it before moving it to rest on my chest.
The next few weeks we spent glued at the hip, much to the annoyance of those around us. We wandered to the farmers market together, strolling hand and hand past all of the booths, occasionally getting stopped by parents of our childhood friends.
“Is that Eugene Sledge and Y/N Phillips?” They’d gasp, fawning over us for a few minutes before we’d manage to escape only to be stopped a few booths down.
Some nights were better, some were worse. When the summer’s stormy season rolled through, there would be several nights in a row where the crashing thunder would wake him with a jolt. This night was different though. The crack of thunder woke me, but the creak of bedsprings kept me from drifting back to sleep. It was then that I realized Eugene wasn’t pressed to my side like he normally was. I rolled over to see him sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Eugene, sweetheart.” I soothed, cautiously running my hand over his taut shoulders.
I crawled up to sit behind him, legs on either side of his body as I pressed my chest to his back, wrapping my arms around his chest. I pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade before resting my cheek against it. He stood up out of my touch, striding out the bedroom door and closing it behind him without a word. I cautiously got out of bed, silently opening the door and watching him as he wandered down the hall and into Sidney’s old bedroom. I padded after him, stopping at the doorway when I noticed him climbing into the twin sized bed.
“What’re you doing?” I asked as he pulled the blankets up to his chin.
“It’s happened four nights in a row. You’re exhausted, I don’t want to keep waking you. Go back to bed.” He replied flatly, rolling over so his back was to the door.
I let out a sigh as I entered the room, the hardwood floor cold against my feet. I peeled the blankets away from his face,
“Scoot over.” I murmured, giving his back a gentle tap.
“What’re you doing?”
“Going back to bed. Like you told me to.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.”
He made a sound of protest but scooted over anyway, allowing me climb in bed and press myself against his back. I wrapped a protective arm around his chest, smiling to myself when he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
“I love you, Eugene.” I murmured, pressing my lips to his back.
“I love you too.” He breathed.
Through the summer we found the best way for him to get some sleep was under the tree in the backyard, head resting in my lap. It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable position for me, back against the tree, roots digging into the backs of my thighs, but anything that allowed him to get uninterrupted shut-eye was worth it.
I tried to hide how uncomfortable it was for as long as I could. It lasted about a week until he noticed the awkward limp I was doing as I made my way to bed. Sitting in such an uncomfortable position for so long had given me a pinch in the back.
“You ‘right, baby?” He asked, coming up behind me as I waddled down the hallway.
“Yeah, yeah… just… A little stiff is all.” I fibbed, letting out a gasp when I leaned over to pick up a pair of shoes I had left in the middle of the floor, having been too sore to put them away earlier.
“I got ‘em, I got ‘em. Go lay down.” He ordered, shooing me off into the bedroom while he took care of the shoes. I let out a groan as I sank into the bed, rolling over onto my stomach as a shudder went through my spine. Eugene returned a moment later, sinking down onto the mattress beside me and placing a hand on my back.
“Backs sore from sittin’ with me, isn’t it?” He asked, his tone laced with guilt as he rubbed circles on the small of my back.
“N-”
“Yes it is.” He sighed, climbing up onto the bed and straddling my legs, letting his weight rest against the back of my thighs while he pulled my blouse untucked from my skirt.
His warm hands smoothed over my back, making me let out a sigh. He worked his calloused hands over the muscles before letting his fingers run over the zipper of my skirt,
“May I?”
“Depends on what your intentions are, corporal,” I replied, craning my neck to look over my shoulder at him.
“Backrub only, darlin’, I swear.” He said, a grin playing on his lips as he crossed his index finger over his heart like we used to do when we were kids.
“Go ahead.”
He tugged the zipper down, siding the garment down a little ways so he could more easily reach my lower back, the part that was zapping me with pain nearly every step.
He rubbed it softly, testing the waters before he dug his hand in deeper, earning a groan as I felt the tension slip away.
“There?” He asked, repeating the motion he had just done, earning yet another groan.
He chuckled to himself as he continued to rub my back, the taught muscle slowly relaxing with each pass of his hand. I felt my eyes flutter shut, exhaustion creeping up on me.
“You fallin’ asleep on me?” He asked, rubbing the back of my thighs.
“No.” I yawned, lifting my shins of the bed to give him a nudge in the back.
He sighed, pulling my skirt the rest of the way off before taking off my shoes and stockings. He cautiously climbed off me, kneeling beside the head of the bed and running his hand over my cheek. I leaned into his touch, making him smile softly,
“Get some sleep, I’ll be in in a few.”
I hadn’t noticed that he’d come to bed until he sat up with a start, blindly grasping for my hand. When he found it, he squeezed it tight enough to make me wince. My mind was cloudy with sleep as I glanced over at the clock. It was hardly midnight, much earlier than he normally woke up like this. It wasn’t until there was a clap of thunder that I understood what was going on.
I slowly sat up beside him,
“Hey, you’re okay, you’re home. Just thunder...” I murmured, running my hand through his hair and pressing a kiss to the back of his hand.
His panic quickly turned to tears which he tried to wipe away before I could notice.
“It’s okay, Genie. You can cry.” I reassured, running my thumb over his cheek.
He shook his head, sniffling,
“I- I’m alright.”
“Genie-”
“I’m alright!” He exclaimed, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed. I could tell by the way his shoulders shook that he was trying to conceal his tears and that he wouldn’t be able to much longer.
I let out a sigh, pulling myself out from under the covers to sit beside him, bumping his knee with mine. I grabbed his hand from where it rested in his lap and brought it over to mine, grasping it with both hands.
“I don’t know why you even want me.” He whimpered, tears streaming down his face and dripping off the end of his nose.
“Genie-”
“I finally got the girl I’ve been thinkin’ bout all these years and I’m gon’ scare her away ‘cause I can’t even fuckin’ sleep right. You’d deserve somebody better than me I should just-” He lurched forward in an attempt to get out of bed.
“Eugene.” I grabbed both of his hands in mine, “Eugene Sledge, look at me.”
His gaze shifted from the floor to meet mine,
“You stop that, right now.” I asserted, “There is nobody better than you, Eugene. There’s no place I’d rather be than right here with you, do you understand me?”
He shook his head, letting his chin drop to his chest before letting out a sniffle,
“Eugene.” I snapped, reaching under his chin and making him look at me, “I’m not goin’ anywhere. And I’m certainly not letting you walk out that door right now.”
I shifted my grasp on him to hold his face with both hands, swiping my thumbs over his cheeks to dry his tears.
“You’re alright, you’re safe here with me, okay?”
He nodded, letting his head drop to my chest. I cradled him with both arms as he tried to slow his breathing. I let one hand card through his hair, the other smoothing across his shoulders,
“You’re alright.” I repeated.
When he finally calmed down enough to sit up, I pressed a kiss to his cheek, the salt from his tears evident on my lips afterward.
He sniffled, picking up my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it.
“You notice how… my nose is a little crooked now?” I questioned, intertwining my fingers with Eugene’s. He studied my face a for a moment,
“Looks perfectly fine to me.” He replied, poking the end of it.
“No, Genie. It’s crooked.” I insisted, running my finger over the newly formed bump on the bridge of it, “Sid was having a nightmare, and I went to wake him up. Socked me right in the nose, in his sleep. Didn’t even remember it the next mornin’.”
“Christ.”
“As long as you don’t sock me in the nose, none of your nightmares are ever gonna bother me or scare me away, alright?”
He nodded,
“And even if you do punch me in the nose, it might straighten it out…”
He repeated the action I had done earlier, running his finger from where my eyebrows met down to the tip of my nose before giving it one last poke,
“I like it, even if it is crooked.”
I smiled at him, grabbing him by the cheeks and pressing a quick kiss to his lips,
“Try to get some rest, baby.” I murmured, pulling him in for one last kiss before lying down.
He cuddled up beside me, resting his head on my chest and wrapping his arms around my middle.
The nightmares gradually tapered off towards the end of storm season, usually he could wake himself up before he got too entranced by whatever was going on in his subconscious. His dad and I had convinced him to take up some new hobbies. I had got him a bird feeder for his birthday and he spent lots of time watching the birds, with the help of Rivers. The two of them had the occasional argument. Every once in a while Rivers would jump at the window, scaring away the bird they had been watching.
“Rivers! That was a Bachman sparrow! They’re endangered, you can’t scare ‘em like that, you’ll give ‘em a heart attack!” Eugene scolded, glaring at the cat while he paced back in forth in front of the window, tail thrashing with annoyance.
Along with birdwatching, I got him a nice moleskine journal for him to write his experiences in. I bought it after a near argument where I pleaded with him to talk to somebody about what happened to him, seeing how it weighed on his shoulders. Some days the load was lighter than others, but it was wearing him down. I opened the first page and jotted down,
If you don’t want to talk about it, write about it. Love, me.
I wasn’t sure how the gift was going to be received, but when I handed it to him, he grinned around his pipe, giving me a soft thank you. I found him writing in it later that night and came up behind him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before leaving him to continue his work.
We fell into the routine we used to have when we were kids, going to Mel’s Diner every Friday night for burgers and a milkshake. I always slid into the booth first, Eugene following a moment later, the two of us sitting on the same side of the table so I could tuck myself under his arm. We looked alot like the younger couples that were there. Faces inches from each others while we shared a milkshake and giggles, things we should’ve been able to do when we were young that had to be put on hold while Eugene was away.
Before I had quite finished my milkshake, Eugene slid out of the booth. I didn’t think much of it, figuring he was just going to the bathroom. That was until he dropped down onto one knee. My mind started to reel. Was I seeing this right? Maybe he just dropped something? Maybe he needed to tie his shoe?
“Genie, what the hell are you doin’?” I sputtered, nearly choking on the last sip I had taken of my milkshake.
“What does it look like I’m doin’?” He asked as he dug into his pocket, a lopsided grin on his face.
“Looks like you’re proposin’!”
“Maybe I am.” He replied, still fumbling with his jacket pocket.
“I swear to god, Eugene, if people start starin’ I’m gonna-”
It was then that he pulled the ring from his pocket, still in the box. He popped it open to reveal a modest ring, but one that was still far more than he could afford.
“Eugene Sledge how the hell did you pay f-”
“Would you stop yellin’ at me for one second so I can ask you to marry me!?” He retorted, a grin growing on his lips.
“Fine.” I let out the breath I had been holding, tears welling up in my eyes.
“Will you marry me?” He asked.
I smiled, nodding my head as I stared down at him.
“Of course I will.”
I didn’t have a chance to launch myself into his arms the way I wanted to, because he had already swept me up off my feet. He pressed his lips to mine, both of our lips tasted like strawberry milkshake. When we finally parted, I rested my forehead against his. It was then that I realized those around us were cheering, making me suddenly self conscious. Eugene somehow managed to wrap himself around me entirely.
“Are you just gonna leave it in the box?” He asked, waving it in front of my face.
I shook my head, taking it from the box and slipping it on my ring finger before pressing another kiss to his lips.
“Pay the bill so we can get the hell out of here.” I laughed, my cheeks burning from all the eyes on us. He nodded, grabbing a wad of cash from his pocket and tossing it on the counter. We walked home hand in hand, sharing the occasional kiss along the way,
“How did you afford this?” I asked, holding my left hand out in front of my face to admire the ring. It had a simple gold band with a round diamond with two smaller round diamonds on each side.
“Sold my soul to the devil.” He replied, a smirk playing on his lips.
I shook my head,
“Really, Eugene.”
“It was my grandmother’s engagement ring.” He said, grabbing my hand and twisting the ring off my finger, pointing to the inscription of initials on the inside, “My brother got to give his wife the wedding band. Left me with this.”
He carefully put the ring back on my finger, pressing a kiss to my knuckles as we continued to walk home. When we reached the driveway, we both noticed Sidney’s car was there. We exchanged a confused glance as we made our way up onto the porch.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me!?” Sidney shouted as we came into his sight.
“Tell you what?!” Eugene replied.
“That you’re marryin’ my sister!” Sidney hollered, grabbing onto my hand.
“He didn’t know you were proposin’?” I questioned, wiggling my fingers as Sidney admired the ring.
“Hell no, he can’t keep his yap shut!” Eugene retorted, “How the hell did you find out before we even made it home?”
“One of Mary’s friends works at the diner, called her about it.”
He tugged on my hand to pull me into a tight hug, shaking me back and forth rough enough to make me stagger.
“Don’t break my fiance!” Eugene hollered, peeling Sidney from me.
Sidney spun around to clap Eugene on the shoulder. The two of them stared at each other with goofy grins before Sidney wrapped him in a hug as well,
“Do I get to be the best man?” Sidney asked.
“I was thinking Rivers could be my best man, actually.” Eugene joked.
“The cat?” Sidney gasped.
“He’s much cuter than you, Sid. Talks less too.” I commented.
“Mean! Both of you!”
TAGGING @xanaphorax because she yelled at me to post it so she can reblog it.