It's as if I’d been dragged from freezing water through a break in the ice, into sun and blazing cold.
Feeling like this while keeping myself up is terrible! There's this uncomfortable feeling of puking any minute. Plus this lightheadedness and the flittery feel inside my stomach make me suspicious my body is going against me. Like my head and my stomach are conniving against me. This is so sick!
Just playing some never-heard-before songs hoping they can help divert my attention from this reeling sensation. Somewhat wishing there's anyone awake with me. But, I've grown up alone. Am used to aloneness. And am ok with it. Except, maybe, there'll be times I'd want to not be. Though, am sure I don't wanna be seen like this...in "this" state. So, this is the perfect time to be on my own.
How ironic life can be. Whenever you want time to go slow because you wanna enjoy the moment, it goes rather fast. And when you want it to go fast because you want the moment to end, it doesn't! Life has an odious way to tyrannize! It's like sadism. Reminds me of the movie Law Abiding Citizen. That kind of torture. You're beaten and all...and it's not yet the worse. You still are made to witness a more painful kind of torment―watching your loved ones harassed!
Of course, this is just hyperbolic. Am dramatizing my current condition. Like self-pitying! hahaha Wild imagination comes to visit me every once in a while. And am all about movies lately, came to my notice.
And am reminded of a scene I'd seen last Sunday night during the cuckoo hours with the gang. Caught Yoan and Angela riling poor Kiro with the balloon pump! Funny how Kiro's like those people being bullied in the movies I'd seen―one bully holding the poor person and another bully's doing the browbeating. Dunno if I was gonna pity my poor pet or laugh. But, remembering it right now, it only makes me wanna keep laughing. Sorry Kiro! haha