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well. if my knee is going to feel fractured and subluxated (I have never fractured nor subluxated my knee it probably definitely does not feel like this at all) I might as well write fanfiction

#like hey #might as well #can't fucken move #I can I am just in pain and also kind of weak #riley's record

Trigun fucking destroys me, okay.

It's about persisting through the most horrific obstacles imaginable, and never losing hope for yourself and others. It's about the fruit your efforts bear, but it doesn't ignore the ugliness of the suffering you endure. It doesn't sweep it under the rug to give you a happy ending.

As a jaded millennial, I get a bit tired of stories where everything turns out fine because the heroes tried hard. Most stories gloss over the repercussions of failure. They tell us it's all simply a means to an end, and that end is what matters. Overcoming your obstacle matters. Winning matters.

Trigun doesn't do this.

Vash gets hurt (gross understatement). He's ostracized, bullied, threatened, haunted, forced to see the darkest underbelly of humanity. He's subjected to the worst parts of life that are grotesquely ruthless, unforgiving, hopeless. He's forced to reconcile a lot of his goals (like never killing anyone), but not the core of his beliefs.

Not once does he falter in his trust that people are capable of good, that we all deserve that chance to be. He never has a revelation that shakes his faith in humanity, despite constantly being given every reason to. He's the irritatingly optimistic anime protagonist who looks at impossible odds and says "everything will be alright", the way no one can in real life because it never works out that way for us.

And it doesn't for him, either.

Vash does his best, believes in himself, and fails. over and over and over again. He loses everything--loved ones, memories, autonomy. He loses constantly. He's your unrealistically positive hero, being dealt realistically unfavorable hands.

And still, he persists. He never truly wins. Because we never truly win. Life has no happy ending like a story does.

He never truly wins, and yet, he can still find happiness. He meets friends, enjoys good food, watches people love fiercely in both blessing and hardship. He hits unbelievable lows that don't keep him from finding highs. Because he never stops trying to be the best of what he sees in humanity. Because every little bit counts. He never stops believing in humans--believing in you.

Trigun grabs you by the face and stares directly at you. It says "I see you, I see your pain, how much you struggle. I see how sometimes no matter how hard you try, things don't work out. Life isn't a fairy tale. I see how your kindness can come back to hurt you, hurt others. I see you, and I'm proud of you. Life is worth living with love in your heart not because we win, but because we try. We all try. Never stop trying to be kind."

Trigun shows you the cruel reality of life, and leaves you feeling good about it.

I don't know a single piece of media that's able to do that.

#trigun #and personally i love that Trigun Stampede really amps up his superhuman qualities #like hey #if a guy that's LITERALLY on par with a god can fuck up this badly #then you don't need to beat yourself up for your failures #don't look at me I'm emotional

Do you still believe in conformitygate? You had some of the most thoughtful posts on here about the topic

thank you very much! yes, i kinda do. i've just sorta distanced myself because i've grown a bit bored of it and i started to go a little insane... i have lots of interests too, so i didn't mind temporarily moving on. i keep up with stuff my friends send me on discord, though. i'm just not hoping on any date and waiting for some solid info, i'm not a type of person to search for clues in just anything. i know people have fun with that but i prefer more grounded and realistic approach.

sometimes i'm 100% confident, sometimes i'm more of a sceptic but one thing i'm sure of is that all or most of it was intended in the show, i don't think it's possible for everything combined to be an accident or a mistake done by dumb producers. and it's quite silly to me whenever i see person who thinks CG is dumb make up conspiracy theory number 95689 to explain why it all happened this way. if people are still doing this after six months... hey, maybe something is up.

i've been actually wondering if i should make a new proper post. about a comparison of trans coded character (that was confirmed to be trans by an author) to mike's gay coding - because it really gave me more confidence and a lot of joy, to see character's queercoding pay off. even if not necessarily in the show itself but for any smart person, it was obvious enough since it was supposed to more of a cautionary tale anyway... hm where did i hear this before? kinda kills me how people still need confirmation of an author to actually believe in very strong coding but anyway... that is where my thoughts have been at lately.