Kayden: 1 3 4 13 27 29 39 42
I think this has been here for like five days I have been so tired but alright! All rambly and ready to write.
1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?
For someone who complains so much about being inconvenienced, they sure get restless. Just in terms of hours or something they can keep to themself just fine for a while. If they’re in civilization they can just spend time reading mystery novels or magical theory in their spare time. (If they’re not in civilization then they will always have something to do, it’s called “finish whatever the fuck I came out here to do and go the fuck home.”) In a broader sense, I don’t think they could spend more than a few months without anything really interesting going on in their life. After long enough they’ll inevitably start seeking out trouble. In Grenadin they had a fairly nice peaceful living and that was good and all but they weren’t stimulated enough so they went and learned magic in their spare time and that still wasn’t enough so lied to everyone and took up a role as a detective solving mysteries and shit. All this conspiracy stuff, while it’s making them panic hard, is kind of a breath of fresh air in another sense.
3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)
When at their flat they have some books so they can read themself to sleep. Although I actually think that when they want to sleep they can do it pretty quickly just by trying (can’t relate.) As for their actual routine, when they’re with the party it involves doing as little as possible, especially if there are small chores that can be left to someone else. At home though I think that every night they clean their room, wash their face, clean their sheets (not actually that hard with magic), and slightly re-organize everything in their flat just to wind down. Every single night, barring unusual exhaustion. They can get pretty restless when surrounded by a relatively peaceful setting.
4. How easy is it to earn their trust?
Trust for them is...I dunno. Kayden tends not to trust very many people in the sense of “I have faith in you, I know that whatever happens you’ll pull through, you would never betray me” kind of thing. They do (or did haha) have a couple people like that, but they don’t rely on them for anything and probably never will. Kayden is inclined not to trust many people in that traditional sense, and any real bonds of faith that might be associated with such a relationship tend to take years to form. Shared struggle is a big aspect of that, so they might trust their party members sooner than that, but so is shared ideals or ends, and they’re not sure they have that.
With that being said, Kayden places great trust in what they know about people. They will observe what they can about someone and then trust that person to act in line with what they’ve seen. For instance, just as a very basic example, their impression of Hinik is that he’s very strong physically but less adept in any situations that rely on subtlety. Therefore, Kayden will fully trust him to take care of a situation where someone is violently attacking them but will probably not trust him to explain to the authorities what just went down. Then again, there’s also placing trust in his lack of subtlety, which historically has more or less resulted in Kayden throwing him under the bridge because they trust he’ll be enough of a distraction that they can just leave. In this sort of sense, they are actually very trusting, but it’s honestly a pretty manipulative sense-or that’s just what party members do for each other, up to you to decide. They’re constantly reevaluating people around them. Another example of this is that before they probably would have trusted Killian if they needed help in a pinch not because they “trust him” but because they know he’s prone to selflessness and helpfulness and they can use that. However recent events have shown that Killian is not only like this to those he has personal relationships with but with most people, which they did not know. Now they’re more wary about trusting those aspects of him because he could just as easily help their enemy as help them.
Currently their trust in others is also motivated by circumstance and necessity. “We’re all in the same boat so even if you aren’t the best people for it, I need to work with you all to uncover this dimensional conspiracy bullshit because you’re the only other people who know about it.”
13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?
They obviously think they look best in blue. They tend to wear brown and peacock because that’s just a really nice and underrated color scheme, but if they actually want to look fancy their color of choice is a deep royal blue, maybe with silver embellishments (although they prefer warmer colors than silver normally.) As for me, I always thought they’d really pull off red or pink. I like to picture them in a casual pink sundress or something like that for a softer look but I really can’t see any pink outfit where shoulder-legnth gloves would work. I also can’t see them in pink for any sort of setting other than casual, which is why I’d also recommend red for them. A red tunic to replace their blue one for physically active situations and in formal settings it’d be great for both ballgowns and tailcoats. My only thing about red is that while it would look good on them it’s also a significantly more eye-catching color than they would prefer. Obviously they like to look fashionable, but that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone becoming aware of you the moment you enter a room.
27. What causes them to feel dread?
Everything. Mentions of their personal life, that cute little gang based in Lockwood, this whole fucking magical memory realm, the sink orbs, institutions, the past, the future, right now especially the present, the thought of losing their memories, the thought of a wizard conspiracy fucking up the world, their deadname, a lot of other things probably I dunno.
29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?
Oooooh, that’s a hard no. Kayden has this little character flaw and it’s called they tend to use other people as means to an end. Kayden knows what a good person is. They know how being one works and they have a sense of right and wrong. They don’t really apply many of these standards of how one should act to themself. They don’t go around needlessly making others’ lives harder for kicks. They’ll keep secrets, do favors, pull others out of tough situations, and negotiate on the behalf of others. However if they were ever forced to choose between sacrificing their ends and throwing the people around them under the bus, they’d do the latter in a heartbeat. I don’t think that their ends are necessarily bad-for instance one of their current goals is finding a way to restore the memories of the children in Thornhill. With that goal in mind, it’s easy to see that they don’t give two shits about what happens to Shane. I think hypocrisy comes in that if anyone ever betrayed or inhibit Kayden like they’re willing to do to others, they would probably find it unforgivable, even if the motives were considerably more noble or utilitarian. Kayden’s focus is usually not the greater good (although right now it might be just because the world might be at stake), their focus is a set of personal goals. These goals might not be bad, many might even be selfless in nature, but I don’t think they’re any bigger or more important than the goals that the other people around them might have. Kayden doesn’t really expect or demand that others prioritize their needs, but they have no qualms about manipulating them into doing that.
39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?
They never ignore them. If they see a flaw then they will try to be aware of it and of any situation that might come up surrounding it. They judge flaws based on how much danger they put everyone else in and based on personal distaste. For instance they don’t see Hinik’s violent tendencies as morally wrong (when targeted at someone else) but rather as a liability. The tactical sense is the most important one for how Kayden perceives the flaws of others. Aster’s devotion on the other hand is not something that most people would blink at, but Kayden considers it a flaw because of their own opinions on religion. Other things in this category would be behaviors that aren’t inherently bad really but are really fucking annoying. Beyond that, they are pretty forgiving of flaws. I wouldn’t say they ignore them, but they acknowledge that they’re not really the kind of person who can pass judgement. They’ll still complain though, see there’s another instance of them not living up to their own ideals.
42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?
More than anything. Unfortunately their goal isn’t really something that they can just accomplish, rather it’s something that they need to be constantly upkeeping. I guess their end goal would be enough stability in life that they didn’t need to worry anymore, but their nature is pretty counter to finding satisfaction and settling down.
Okay it’s super late so I don’t know how much of that is comprehensible but like. I said I was in the mood to write essays about characters so there we are.
