No Other Love - Chapter 1: Flight Risk
After weeks of ignoring her feelings for Suresh, Gemma was finally ready to admit to him that she wanted to get back together. With the Casa Amor recoupling in full swing, she never expected him to walk back into the villa with another girl.
🎵 Song 🎵: Flight Risk You'll never leave if I'm already gone...
Tag list: @katsie @future-mrs-suresh @litg-burnbook @0shewrites0 @bradybunch111 @whati390 @hi-im-karla @fujihime-litg @kunepie @differenttyphoonwerewolf @earlyevenings @pho3nixx67 @sienna2world @kikithegr8 @theesocialintrovert @iamgaryrennells @kiwi-tai @abecerra611 (let me know if you want to be added on to tag list)
Thank you to my girls 💖💖 @katsie @0shewrites0 for looking this through and editing my dumb mistakes and making it so much better than it was and @midnightscinema for the Suresh/Lulu date idea!!!
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Is this where our story ends? After everything he said before Casa Amor, this just can’t be the end.
Gemma looked down at her hands, absentmindedly playing with her gold ring, then stared off into the fire pit.
Can it?
She bit back the tears threatening to pour out of her green eyes. She wouldn’t let any of them see how utterly and completely broken she felt. No, broken couldn’t even begin to accurately describe the feeling of having your heart ripped out of your chest and tossed aside like it was worth nothing. Before they’d left for Casa, Suresh’s ultimatum had forced Gemma to come to terms with all of the feelings she’d long since buried and tried to ignore. And she hated how after all this time, after all the pain he’d caused her, how much she still loved him, even now as she watched him take his seat on the opposite end of the fire pit with Lulu by his side.
From the very first day, when he walked out to greet her by the pool and she saw those dizzying emerald eyes, her feelings for him rushed to the surface, washing over her in an uncomfortable wave. She tried everything she could to be strong, to not cave in to his many advances and false promises of having “changed.” She tried to flirt with the new guys, move on with someone new, but no one compared to him. They didn’t know that she couldn’t hear someone sing ‘Happy Birthday’ without tearing up, especially if it was her birthday. That despite being a horrible singer, she would sing as loud as her lungs would let her whenever she got the chance. That she hated driving and always begged him to, even though she knew he would never make her do something she didn’t want to do. Suresh knew all of that about her, and he loved her for it.
Loved. In the past. Not anymore.
“Babe, it’s your turn,” Kat said, nudging her forward. She sat nestled in Finn’s arms, looking happy, safe. All the things Gemma felt like she should be feeling right now.
Stick or Switch.
She stood up and took a deep breath. Should she stick with Alfie? The boy who she had tried to get to know, who she’d tried to move on from Suresh with, but somehow things just never felt right. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, there seemed to always be a gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that something was missing. He just wasn’t him. She looked at Johnny and Nicolas, both nervously standing off to the side. She’d barely gotten to know either of them in Casa Amor, something she now regretted. Again because of him. There was also the matter of Alfie kissing Kat and Gemma kissing Suresh. She knew she had no room to judge Alfie for what he’d done, but she also knew that both kisses had ended things for them before it even properly started. So she knew she only had one choice tonight.
Switch.
“Tonight I’m choosing to couple up with this boy because he has shown me that I can have more than what I’ve been offered. That I can have a fresh start with someone new. I’m excited to see where this chapter might take us, so the boy I’m coupling up with is…Nicolas.”
Both Dana and Kat looked at one another confused.
Nicolas sauntered over to Gemma quickly, wrapped his arms around her and lifted her in the air. He spun her around and pressed his lips onto hers. She wrapped her fingers around his neck, deepening the kiss. From the corner of her eye, she could see Suresh staring straight into the fire pit, eyes unblinking and not straying from the flames.
“Gems, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now,” Nicolas beamed at her.
She smiled at him as they sat down and waited for Alfie to return. She pressed her body close to his and he held her tight, keeping her safe from whatever outcome was about to unfold before them.
Nicolas squeezed her a little tighter when they heard the familiar sounds of heels on the villa floors before she saw Alfie confidently stroll back in with Meera.
This time it was much less painful, since she had no real feelings for Alfie.
She tried to listen to everyone’s excited chatter as they welcomed Meera back into the villa, but she couldn’t hear anything over her erratic heartbeat. She willed herself not to look over in Suresh’s direction, but there had always been an unexplained gravitational force that pulled them closer. As the islanders got up to say their goodbyes to Eddie and Johnny, Gemma noticed Suresh was still sitting, staring into the fire pit’s roaring flames like he had done earlier, frozen in place. Lulu grabbed his hand and nudged him out of his trance and he gave her a small smile, kissing her hand as a thank you. Gemma had lost count of how many times Suresh had kissed her hands like that, she had always loved that small gesture, one she had always thought was meant only for her. Even with Arlo he’d never shown her this side of him.
Does he actually like Lulu?
“I have to…uhm…” Her heart beat faster as she felt the tears pricking her eyes again. This time she knew she couldn’t hold them back for long. She had to get away, she couldn’t let them see her this way.
“I have to get out of here.”
“You okay?” Nicolas asked.
“Yes!” She plastered on the happiest smile she could manage. “I just need some air. I’ll be right back.”
She didn’t give him a chance to respond. Instead she turned on her heels and hurried towards the villa, the tears already streaming down her face before she even had a chance to step inside. She stumbled as she ran up the stairs towards the beach hut, the unwanted tears blurring her vision.
“I’ve lived with you and without you. And being without you doesn’t even compare. I want the wild, fun life that we used to have together. I know now that you’re the only girl for me.” She couldn’t stop the words from replaying in her mind over and over. The words he’d spoken to her before he’d left for Casa Amor. Did she miss something? Had she gotten something wrong?
How could he do this again? Why was he doing this again? After everything he had said before Casa Amor. How he wanted no one else, how he couldn’t picture his life without her. For him to then waltz back into the villa with Lulu, holding her hand and looking like he’d won a prize. Gemma heard the door click open, and quickly wiped her face clean of tears. When she looked up she saw Nicolas standing there. She tried, and failed, in giving him a smile. He gave her a soft one in return as he sat down next to her, leaving the door ajar. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.
"It's okay, Gem," he said soothingly. "You're all right, I've got you."
She buried her face into his chest, soaking his shirt in her tears. He wasn't the one she'd wanted to hold her, but he was the only one willing, and right now that was all she cared about. As he held her, just letting her cry, Gemma couldn’t help but wonder where Suresh was. Why wasn’t he the one holding her right now? Explaining himself? Explaining why he’d brought back someone new.
Was any of it real?
But all of those thoughts made her feel incredibly guilty, especially when another man was holding her, soothing her. Eventually she pulled away from him and used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears.
"Thank you, Nic," she said, then gestured to her face which she knew would be covered in smudged makeup. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."
"Gem, you're anything but a mess," he said and wiped under her eyes with his thumbs. "You're absolutely stunning, you're whip smart, and so incredibly strong. What you've overcome since you came in here, what you continue to overcome, it astounds me. You astound me." He rested a hand on her knee, giving it a little squeeze. "A mess? No. You're a wonder, Gemma. You're special."
She forced her bottom lip to stop quivering, her heart tightened painfully at his words. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, trying to convey how grateful she was.
She found solace in his chest once more, forcing herself to steady her breathing by listening to his.
“You’re so sweet, Nic,” she said, making him smile.
What neither of them saw was Suresh, watching them through the crack in the door, his jaw clenched. He stalked off, hands balled into fists at his sides.
Nicolas pulled away slightly, giving her a warm smile as he brushed her hair out of her face.
"Why don't we get ready for bed, yeah?"
"Yeah," Gemma nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good."
Nicolas met Gemma outside of the dressing rooms, after she’d changed into pajamas and removed the rest of her makeup for the night.
“Wow,” he gushed.
“What?” she looked up at him confused.
“You look stunning.”
“Thanks Nic,” she blushed. “Come on, let's go to bed.”
He led the way, holding her hand, stealing glances at her every few steps. This was the exact distraction she needed right now. Because when he looked at her this way, she could forget for a second how broken and empty she felt inside. How this wasn’t the hand she wanted to hold. She searched the sea of beds for her new bed assignment, finding hers right next to his. She crawled into bed laying on her back not wanting to turn to her side and see anything happening two feet away.
“Hey…Gem…”
She turned over to face Nicolas. He looked a bit nervous like he was lost in thought.
“I just wanted to say…Thank you,” he paused and bit his lip anxiously before continuing. “I feel so lucky to be here with you. I know that I’m not your first choice tonight.”
“Nic-”
“Just let me finish, beautiful,” he smiled at her, cupping her face. “I know that I’m not your first choice tonight but I want you to give me the opportunity and the chance to prove to you why I should be. Suresh, Alfie, none of these guys see what I see in you. You’re special, Gemma. When it came to stick or twist I had already come to terms with leaving. Because if it wasn’t you who picked me to stay, then I would rather go.”
“Really?”
Nicolas edged closer to her, until their faces were inches from each other. He took her hand in his and looked deep into her eyes.
“You were the only one for me. From the first day I laid my eyes on you I knew I had to get to know you better. And the more I do, the more I like you.”
“Nic…”
“You don’t have to say anything right now, Gem. I just want this moment with you.”
He looked deeply into her eyes, leaning in gently and pressing his lips tentatively on hers. The kiss started off slow and languid, but soon his tongue was searching for hers desperately and his hands were roaming her body.
“Nic…”
“Sorry, I lost myself there a bit.” He blushed.
“Good night,” she murmured.
“Good night, beautiful.”
As her eyes fluttered open the next morning, the first person she saw was Suresh. In the middle of the night, they’d both turned and unknowingly faced each other in their respective beds. He was sleeping peacefully only inches away from her now. So close yet so far away. She watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath, staring at his God-like body. She had always loved waking up before him and watching him sleep. There was a softness and a vulnerability that didn’t normally come out when he was awake.
Gemma had been so lost in thought she didn’t notice he had woken up and was staring back at her.
A small smirk touched his lips as her cheeks turned a bright crimson hue, evidence that she had been caught red-handed. He seemed to start to say something but before he was able to get a word out, Nicolas snaked an arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him and kissed her cheek.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
The moment was gone. Suresh rolled his eyes and turned over in bed, not wanting to witness this scene for a second longer than he had to.
She turned over to face Nicolas and gave him a small smile.
“Morning, Nicolas.”
“I was thinking I could whip us up some breakfast this morning. Maybe some avocado toast?”
“That sounds lovely. I can help you.”
“No, I wouldn’t dream of it.”
As Nicolas walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen area, Gabi walked over to Suresh’s bed and nudged his shoulder.
“Suresh, I think it’s time we go for a chat.”
Suresh sat up in his bed and nodded begrudgingly.
“Okay, but I’d like Gemma to come too.” He turned to her on the bed next to him, his eyes locked on hers. “Gem, will you join us?”
“What? No, Suresh, I asked for a private chat with you.” Gabi looked like she was gonna stomp her foot in defiance. “I want to talk about what happened between us.”
Gemma ignored Gabi, looking at Suresh and his dizzying green eyes. This is what she had been wanting from him for so long. A proper explanation, the truth once and for all.
“Okay, Suresh, lead the way.”
Suresh led both girls up to the roof terrace, holding the door open for them to step outside first. Then he made a point of sitting closest to Gemma, their knees almost touching.
“I guess I should start since I owe both of you answers. Gem, I’m so sorry I never told you about the full extent of what happened between me and Gabi. But you have to understand that from my perspective it was just a fling, I never saw it as a serious relationship and I didn’t want to cause more harm and hurt you even more than I already had.”
“A fling? You call FIVE months a fling, Suresh?” Gabi snapped.
Suresh paused to collect his thoughts before continuing.
“I’m not trying to hurt you more than I know I already have. But Gab, we were never that serious. I only ever went to your apartment, you barely came to mine and when you did it was only after we’d been together for months. Did you never wonder why that was?”
She gave him a confused look but waited for him to continue.
“It was because of Gemma.”
“Me?” Gemma frowned. “What do you mean?”
He stared at her sea green eyes with a mixture of adoration and longing, while his fingers inched achingly close to her knee.
“For months I couldn’t take any of our pictures down. It just felt so…final. So I didn’t. It wasn’t until Simon came over one day and forced me to take them down.”
Gemma didn’t know what to think. When she first found out he had cheated on her, she had every intention of throwing away anything that reminded her of him. Their pictures, ticket stubs to concerts, and all of the many gifts he’d bought her over their year together. She had worked quickly and efficiently, dumping everything in a large cardboard box, overstuffing it to the point where it wouldn’t close. But when she walked to the front door of her flat she couldn’t turn the knob. She couldn’t throw their memories away. She’d hugged the box close, slid to the ground and cried. Eventually she’d picked herself off the floor and carried the box into her bedroom, putting it on a shelf in her closet.
“I-I know what you mean, Resh. I couldn’t get rid of your things either,” Gemma said as she stared at him.
“As much as I’m loving this trip down memory lane for you two, it’s not really about you, Gemma.” Gabi turned to look at Suresh with an exasperated look in her eyes. “Suresh, I asked you up here for answers for me, not to reminisce with your ex. Because a fling does not accurately describe what I was to you. You liked me, the way you acted around me wasn’t just a fling, even if we didn’t go on lavish trips around the world or fancy dates like you did with Gemma. There was something there. You took me to that lovely restaurant, but then I never heard from you again? Why?”
Suresh sighed and ran his large fingers through his hair.
“It was because of Gemma.” He noticed Gabi wince but he continued. “I saw her while we were having dinner. Before that night, I had been able to numb my feelings… I could pretend that I was okay. That I was over her. But that night…that night changed everything. I realized then that I’m still - I was still in love with her and I couldn’t continue seeing you.”
“Wait, what night was this?” Gemma asked, confused.
“You were out with your parents at Chez Louis. You looked so happy. I loved seeing you like that. Your parents seemed to be in a really good place too.”
“Yeah, they are,” she beamed at him.
“And this,” Gabi said, motioning to the two of them, “is exactly why I wanted to have a private conversation, Suresh.”
“I’m sorry. Gabi, I don’t want to hurt you, that’s not my intention here. You’re right, I did like you. You were fun to be around when I was in a dark place, you helped me out of that rut and I’m thankful for that. But Gabi, my feelings for you were never anywhere near what I feel for Gemma. Yes, it was a dick move to ghost you and I’m sorry for that. I should’ve ended things properly and I hope you’ll see this now as me ending things properly with you.”
“You’re losing out on the best thing you could’ve ever had,” Gabi snapped as she sauntered away from the roof terrace, slamming the door behind her.
Gemma snorted as she stared at the door. “You sure know how to pick ‘em, Suresh.”
“I picked you once, didn’t I?”
“Now that was the best thing you ever did,” she retorted instinctively, then froze up as she realized what she'd said.
“Couldn’t agree with you more,” smirked Suresh, but before either of them had a chance to say anything else, Nicolas swung the roof terrace door open.
“Hey beautiful, thought you might need your caffeine,” he said, handing her a large iced coffee, exactly how she liked it. “Also wanted to let you know I just finished breakfast, I wasn't sure if you were done here since I saw Gabi go downstairs.”
Gemma looked at Suresh, uncertain of what to do.
“I uhm…”
**TEXT PING**
“I’ve got a text!” Lulu shouted from the kitchen below. “Oh my god! Suresh!! Where are you?”
“Hold up Lu, we’re coming right down,” Nicolas shouted over the side.
Gemma and Suresh looked at each other and he sighed.
“We’ll talk later?” Suresh asked.
Gemma looked at him and hesitated. There was still so much left to say. So many things she needed answers to. She needed more time with him. But what if they weren’t the ones she wanted?
“Please, Gem,” he whispered.
“Um…okay, maybe later. Let’s go Nic,” she said with her hand outstretched to him.
Nicolas interlaced his fingers with Gemma’s and led her away from the roof terrace downstairs to the kitchen, Suresh walking behind them. As soon as they stepped outside, Lulu squealed as she came running towards them.
“Babe! We’re going on a date!” She showed him the text, barely able to stand still.
“What!?” Kat snarled. “Finn and I have been coupled for weeks and you two get to go on a date. How is that fair?”
“You’ve already been on a date with Finn,” Dana pointed out.
“That one didn’t even count, it was early days! Urgh! Let’s go, Finn.” Kat grabbed Finn by the arm, leading him away to the loungers.
Lulu grabbed Suresh's hand and tugged. “Come on, babe, let’s go get ready!”
He gave her a charming smile and did as she asked. Gemma stared after them, her chest tightening as she begged for him to turn around.
If you still love me you’ll turn back and look at me. If you still love me you’ll turn back and look at me. If you still love me you’ll turn back and look at me.
Her breathing hitched slightly as a chill ran up her spine when he turned and glanced back at her, giving her a small smile.