He held Penny as they lowered him into the ground.
His parents let her walk, unsteady confusing steps away from the grave as Auggie finally settles onto the ground in front of him. “Do you?” He inquires cheekily as he gets the flask from the breast pocket of his suit jacket. “Nah, can’t fuck with your sobriety and whatnot.” Taking a heathy sip he exhales slowly. “If you’re wondering where Tampon is he was so unconsolable Lily took him home so once again it’s just you and I…” As it’s supposed to be.
"A couple months ago, I apologized to you — I’m taking that back, I’ve never apologized and meant it, you know that, you can laugh about me crying but I thought the dramatics would wake you up ya know? It worked too… I got your letter." It’s burning a hole in his pocket. "Which was really fucking gay by the way, but statistically one of us had to be gay, out of the three but whatever. It doesn’t matter since you’re in there."
Taking another sip he relaxes a bit, leaning back, the leaves crumble under large palms and he squints at the sky through sunglasses. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” The words move with the wind and he refuses to repeat them. “We were born together, we die together,” he utters. He wishes he could cry but his eyes won’t do it — he doesn’t want it that much. “Virgin suicides without the virginity part, we lost that title a long time ago right?” he laughs. “I remember the first time I saw Carina at the club… I had never seen such perfection before Penny of course. So naturally I wanted to ruined it, all of it and I almost had my chance — till she ran out and directly into you… But you were always the safe choice, the jock most likely to succeed, no violent tendencies, everyone always liked you — I like you.” Present tense, he’ll always talk about Lennon in the present tense… “That bitch played us, Knox. Yeah she helped make Penny but she was playing us, she was nobody until she met us, that night… I was so mad, she thought she could have it all, the family and career with you, the dirty fun with me… I just wanted you see what she was doing, I didn’t think your dumbass would drive off like that.” He’s so angry he gets up and begins to pace the heat running through him like a line of gasoline aflame. “But that’s not your fault, she was a snake, you got bit — we got bit. Why only twenty seven? A father doesn’t stop loving his daughter after she turns thirty, you’re too lazy to write a hundred probably.”
Sitting back down he swallows, finally pulling off his sunglasses, “I’m going to be real with you, Lenny: I was having a rough time, everyone was happy for us they thought we’d finally fought our demons and conquered them but nah, I was, I’m —” loosening his tie he looks around the empty cemetery “three weeks I fell off the wagon, now before you make thunder strike or something let me explain. I was at the strip club with my boss, I’m going after his job and he knows it so he takes me to the club to celebrate another quarter with good numbers thanks to me and he slips it into my hand like it’s nothing and the next thing I know I’m in a hotel room with Svetlana and Sonya and I’m doing lines off em. He thought it would just knock me off my game but I finally feel right again, you know how it is, you did this for you, no one else; I’ll take good care of her, don’t worry, she knows you love her not even death can tell her otherwise. I’ll try, I’m not you I’m not Dallas but I know I can do this, you wouldn’t want anyone else for the job.”
He finishes off the flask and laughs, a real laugh from the pit of his empty stomach; it rattles as it goes up and up to leave through his mouth, “I love you too, by the way even if you went out in the lamest way, should have had heart attack balls deep in some girl when you just croaked but you went out how you wanted you’re a Reeves: we’re good looking, wealthy and selfish as fuck so this isn’t goodbye this is… I’ll see you later. Same time tomorrow Lenny.” Auggie got up slowly and dusted himself off and put back on his shades and opened the fly of his pants and peed on the tombstone next to Lennon’s gravestone — Carina’s. “Drink my piss you stupid bitch, better stay on your side of hell if you know what’s good for you.”
