#live messy

[weirdcultstuff]

I’m very much not a fan of the telling women to literally physically be quieter thing.

It always bothered me but I thought it was just kinda me being rebellious and whatnot, but today I saw my mom has a list of ‘things to work on’ that my dad gave her and one of the things is: be quieter. I don’t care about the explanation for that or the reasoning behind it, I don’t fucking care what enneagram book it’s from, or if it’s a goal she agrees with. I don’t care. I am so mad.

I’m so mad about every time I and my sisters got forbidden to speak for meals or for days “to give your brothers a chance to talk.” No. Fuck off.

I’m so mad that I didn’t ever talk in public when I was a kid.

I am so mad that I know so many girls who hate their own laughter.

I’m so mad that I don’t know how to be loud.

I’m so mad that my dad is telling my grown adult mother, a fully functioning human with a brain and a story and a voice and a life, to “be quieter” in her own damn house.

Please, please be loud. Please, if you have something to say, please say it. If you’re just a loud person who makes noise in the kitchen, and sings in the shower, and laughs loud, and sneezes loud, and turns the music up, and tells stories that get louder as they go, and wears noisy jewelry or shoes with heels that click on the floor, PLEASE CONTINUE BEING YOU. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to make yourself smaller. Be respectful of others space, sure, but make sure your space and your voice are respected too. You the way you are are loveable and fine.

If you, loud, are not good enough for the people you’re around, just know that there are other people out there who will find you good enough, loud. And the things you have to say matter, if they matter to you and you want to say them. Yes, even the story of how you got peaches on sale yesterday. Even the eighth retelling of the story about that funny thing that happened last Christmas. Even your satisfied sigh after you finish cleaning your kitchen. Even your comments on the movie you’re watching. Even what you think about the Bible. It all matters. You matter. Don’t listen to anyone who says you don’t matter.

[telegraphic]

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something. So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

Neil Gaiman