#lizziepersonal

[justlizziethings]

at the yard house with my parents for mums birthday and i'm having this martini called a black orchid. it's made with svedka raspberry vodka, dekuyper blue curaçao & watermelon pucker. good shit man.

[justlizziethings]

i stopped by the abc store today and picked up some things. the first thing i got was whaler's "killer" coconut rum. it's too sweet for a sipping rum, but very good if you want drinks with POWERFUL COCONUT FLAVOR. so in that sense it's more like a coconut cordial tbh. personally i love it (and so does my wallet). the second thing i picked up was bols melon liqueur. i've bought this one before and i think it's great. i love melon flavored things but it isn't exactly a common flavor in southeastern virginia (unless you specifically visit an asian food market). it's a cordial so it also doesn't have a very high alcohol content, but i can use it like a syrup to make some awesome melon soda!!

[justlizziethings]

@ my entire family:  i’m a seamstress, not a fucking wizard.  i can’t help you put together an entire costume 20 minutes before your shitty halloween party, especially not when i’m already busy sewing about 50 other things.

everyone is all like “oh can you just sew up this (insert piece of clothing here) from scratch really quick?  i know it’ll be so easy for you.” or “could you just hem this, and take that in a bit, and maybe paint some designs on it while you’re at it?”  like sure, do you also want me to also do it dancing the polka on a balance beam in mid air while also on fire?

and all from scratch?  and you’re not even willing to pay me?  fuck you.  if it’s so easy you should’ve done it yourself.  earlier than october 31st.  get out of my face.

[justlizziethings]

i want to talk to this person i used to know so badly but it’s been two years and i don’t even know how she feels about me anymore??  if i ever even knew??  i talked and hung out with her in high school but i was an awful person back then so who knows where we left off...

[justlizziethings]

kinda wanna live to prove everyone wrong, kinda wanna just die in my sleep

[justlizziethings]

sometimes i honestly think there’s more to my whacked-out brain than depression & generalized anxiety, and to be specific, i often feel a very strong identification with some bpd traits?? like severe emotional reactivity, self-identity problems, and abandonment issues?? but i can never seem to have an actual fucking conversation with someone about it without all the “🌸💕✨everything is ok and everyone should give u butt pats because u r a precious rainbow fairy uwu ✨💕🌸” bullshit. like hey, i’m not happy about my mental illness. i don’t want to glorify it or celebrate it. i want to identify and treat it because it’s ruining my fucking life, kiddo.

[justlizziethings]

just got my results back from the blood tests and the ultrasound. good news/bad news. no problem with my thyroid, and no cysts or polyps on my ovaries. so good news, it's not pcos; bad news, i still literally have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me. at least the doctor i saw today was rad and attentive af, and she prescribed me pain meds so i can actually continue to live and be a productive member of society (instead of laying around in pain wishing for the sweet embrace of death). she referred me to an ob-gyn/endocrinologist, so i've gotta work up the gall to call in to schedule that today. wish me luck or pray for me, 'cause i'm gonna need all the help i can get to get through this; from friends well wishes to divine intervention.

[justlizziethings]

omg so i finally got myself a soldering iron today!  i received a michaels flyer in the mail and on it there was a coupon for 50% off any one regular priced item, so i got the iron for $15.00 instead of the usual $30.00!!  and it’s actually a multi-use tool so it came with so many different accessories too.  it was such a good deal i thought i was gonna cry.  and the cashier was sweet and complimented me on my hair color.  (c: