Because I suddenly reappeared to mourn the death of our beloved green-eared hobgoblin, an explanation of my absence for anyone who cares:
So I've been away for a good long while. I love and miss everyone on here, and the fandoms we share, and the sense of community we have. I miss the ridiculous fanart and the beautiful fanart, I miss the .gifs and analyses, I miss reading and writing fics, and I miss mutually screaming over obscure trivia with like-minded souls. I might even dive in again one day!
But a year or two back (whenever it was I went AWOL) I realized tumblr was kind of toxic for me. I started feeling like a rat pushing the reward/meth button over and over to get a little burst of pleasure, to the exclusion of doing actually rewarding things in meatspace. It didn't help that at the time, my personal meatspace was less than appealing. Basically, the way this website works on a fundamental level enables something inside of me that scares me to death.
So I kind of quit cold turkey, and I've been doing really well. I have a job I enjoy, family and friends I love, and a much better sense of self than a year or two ago. On the other hand, I feel like I've lost most of my creative juice, which is something I still need to work on.
But at least once a week I think about Trek, and all my beautiful trekkies our fandom allowed me to "meet" here, and I hope everyone is doing as well as I've been lately.
<3