#loch's rambles

[lochthedoors]

OH GODVERSE I NEVER DOUBTED YOU

[lochthedoors]

just finished brume's story quest and damn they really made my girl face the horrors head-on

[lochthedoors]

omg another brume/beryl truther??

YES i've been rotating them in my brain like a microwave since i first saw them interact. i need more people to see the potential in their toxic situationship 😭😭😭 (brume's undying faith in beryl and beryl's visible soft spot for brume needs to be talked about more AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

[lochthedoors]

mustering the resolve to finish the Isokania fix-it fic I've been writing since may last year 😭

[lochthedoors]

One thing I really like is how all of Bell's potential suitors (onesided or otherwise) parallel each other. Top and Kae are both explicitly shown to be selfish, with Top's selfishness being born out of cowardice and Kae's stemming from her loneliness and need for control.

Like Kae's introduction is super telling of the kind of person she is deep down through the way she immediately power trips Bell (who atp had JUST been imprisoned) and lovebombs her later on. And basically all of Top's interactions with his dad show his inability to act and stand up for anything without his dad acting as a safety net. Plus both Kae and Top have SERIOUS self-worth issues that they take out on those around them.

But Claire is different.

She directly juxtaposes them through her actions during the show. And while it's pretty clear that Claire doesn't think highly of herself (calling the prison her world and calling herself the nonsensical daughter in her family), she never lets these insecurities fester into something malicious.

Claire's self-sacrificing and selfless to a point where she doesn't even consider how her loved ones may feel about her putting herself in harm's way (taking her sister's place and beating Kae up as revenge for Bell). Even in their final confrontation, Kae uses Claire's greatest fear against her: not being able to protect the ones she loves. And it's clear that she tried so hard to fight against it because she wanted to get out with Bell, but her insecurities got the best of her. She didn't think she was worthy of her freedom OR Bell's love. That's why she lets her go. Because she loves Bell too much to watch her wait for someone that doesn't (in Claire's mind) deserve it.

[lochthedoors]

i finished my clairebell rewatch in time for the finale. Sad I couldn't liveblog it but I fear I was pressed for time. Hoping for a happy ending and that all the loose ends are tied up neatly. Idk how they're gonna pull that off in an hour but I'll be doing my best to believe 😭🤞

[lochthedoors]

Too tired for my Clairebell rewatch today. i hate being sick 😭😭😭

[lochthedoors]

Liveblogging my Clairebell rewatch (Episode 2):

- it's giving me whiplash seeing kae be normal

- claire in rabid dog mode is SO fine like,,,,

- the blood streaking down her face omds

- that brief moment where you can see Claire notice Bell being jumped

- that's all she needs to get the guards called on them

- the red lighting in this scene is downright terrifying. No wonder poor Bell needed pa to assure her that claire wasn't as scary as she seems

- not her munching on those bread crusts after all that chaos. girl 😭

- the way Claire stands. Menacingly

- it's interesting that her hair is mostly covering her face in these earlier episodes. Makes Claire seem way more unpredictable and dangerous

- but then you have her make jokes about pimple popping while having a pretty significant head injury. Unserious ass woman

- idk how she brushed that off. With that much blood surely a normal person might have been concussed 😭

- bell giggling and cheesing despite the situation they're in. Girl what happened to self-respect

- between this guard and wichai idk who I hate more

- SPEAK YOUR TRUTH DAO

- I remember thinking this guard might stick around as a secondary antagonist but I'm so glad I was wrong

- wichai a professional gaslighter. He needs to Die actually !

- love that you can hear claire start running before bell actually passes out. She was a good distance away from her too

- aww she's so gentle. Must be weird for the other inmates seeing her like this

- Dao's trying so hard to keep her shit together. Admittedly she's not doing too hot

- deedee had so much beef with bell bro all for an eyebrow pencil?? 💀

- kae oh kae. Why couldn't you be normal

- I TRUSTED YOU

- kae and claire both being enamoured with bell almost instantly makes sense considering she was probably the first person to treat them like human beings

- well not entirely in claire's case seeing as she had pa

- which explains why Claire's significantly more well adjusted compared to Kae

- idk why Kae didn't go crazy when she found about top. Maybe because she thought that meant bell was straight and that she had no chance anyway

- this ice paris cameo 😭

- the 3ds have such an interesting relationship. I wonder how they first met Deedee since they've basically adopted her into the family

- top is deeply insecure and that manifests in his refusal to go against his dad

- OR admit to his faults

- not saying he deserves to be on the receiving end of an abusive shithead parent

- but he is clearly acting out of guilt over love. If he REALLY loved bell, she wouldn't have been in prison in the first place. In contrast to Claire who we know took the fall for Cream without hesitation

- KAE IS DOWN HORRENDOUS

- adore these early glimpses we got of claire's soft side through her relationship with pa

- her whole demeanour is completely different. Down to her voice and the way she moves even

- still don't know how porsche turned out so nice and honest after having a deadbeat like wichai for a father

- Claire watching Bell during porsche's introduction 😭 how did I not catch that before

- she also conveniently places herself behind her. You're not slick, Claire. I see you

- who tf visited mangpor

- noooo pa my shayla

- Claire's so cute with her little comics

- the kae kingpin theory gets stronger by the day. I hope they actually tell us what she did in the final ep

- why does it feel like kae could have gotten out sooner if she wanted to

- Dao's interactions with her son make so upset because I understand both sides

- she's doing her best to get out and provide for him but he's rightfully conflicted about her

- Noon the actress that you are

- Bell is so sweet with pa

- Bell also has NO survival instincts

- everything she says only makes deedee more agitated

- Bell actually does go looking for Claire. Guess this was when she first started considering her as someone safe

- once again BELL HAS NO SURVIVAL INSTINCTS

- thank goodness the adrenaline finally kicked in to make her scratch deedee and escape

- capybara lowkey the mvp for keeping deedee and her cronies away

- this filthy fucking room. how did they do what they did in here 💀

- the chronicles of claire showing love by sharing her food

- this interaction was enough for Bell to clock Claire as a huge softie lmaooo

- highly successful product placement 10/10

- Claire was such a tsundere I'm in tears 😭

- Dao,,, girl enjoy powertripping while you can because it won't be long now

- Bell waking up alone in the abandoned bathroom implies that her and Claire probably spent more time talking to each other

- top is the worst boyfriend ever OMDS

- I really want to know what Mint's motivations are for digging into her brother's case like this. Like what tipped her off that things weren't as they seemed

- a televised breakup is the stuff of nightmares. Bell should have gotten at least one good punch in

- this being the last thing Bell's dad hears about his daughter before he dies...brutal

- deedee really WENT for it

- the fake-out with pa at the end of this episode gave me such a heart attack the first time 😭

- episode ending with claire's slow walk to the canteen. They knew what they were doing here lol. I very much expected her to immediately start pummeling deedee in the next ep