I find this quote to be rather interesting. http://unsungvoicesexperience.tumblr.com/post/97918043348/there-is-two-ways-to-dehumanize-someone-to-demean
I have heard two main reasons why mothers give up their children for adoption:
・She loved you so much, she wanted to give you a better life than she could provide you (aka, the pedestal).
・She didn’t want a girl baby. Only boys are important (aka, the demonization).
I find it fascinating that the only reasons for adoption that I’ve ever heard from people outside of the adoptee community involve dehumanizing the birth mother (or family or culture). I wonder why people feel obligated to dehumanize the people who brought me into this world. What does that say about them? What does it imply they think about me?
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I'm very sorry for the late response on this. Mod R and I were wondering how to reply to this for a while. I don't want you to ever feel ashamed about how others think of you. They don't deserve a second thought. It says nothing about you and everything about them and their blatant disregard, ignorance and lack of consideration about the situation. Also lack of respect to consider what is the history of this society, what are the cultural themes that contribute to these views of this circumstance, etc. This is going to sound cliche but it only matters how you feel about yourself. The way these people outside the adoption community, irrate the living hell out of adoptees like us. More often then not, we have no control over our adoptions. For people who don't know the feelings or circumstances of a situation and make assumptions to try to explain it to the kid who was adopted, why they were given up in the first place is frankly dishonest of them. I know that people say these things to try and help the child cope with questions of their adoption , the parents explaing should be totally open about not knowing the reason. I personally feel it's better for the child to have an open dialogue and have questions instead of assumed conclusion. If followers have other opnions would love to hear!