Moving || Self Para
TAGGING: Ria Lopez, with mentions of Santana Lopez, Ava Rose, Gaby Lopez, and the Harpers.
TIMEFRAME: Monday, October 26th, 2015, 9:00 AM.
LOCATION: The Lopez Residence, driving to various locations, and the Harper Residence.
SUMMARY: Ria skips school to pack up her stuff and temporarily move out of her house while her family isn’t home to stay with the Harpers for a while.
NOTE: Mentions of anxiety/panic attacks.
9:00AM.
She’d kept everything quiet that morning. Trying to make it look like she was trying to sneak out of her house silently without much confrontation with anyone. She’d even driven off in her car by herself like she usually did when she didn’t want to ride with her sisters, which she guessed would have been normal for the situation anyways, right?? So it was what she did. But instead of actually going to school like she might have on any other day, Ria parked a ways away, and then walked back into the bushes near their house. She watched her sisters leave, and then her parents. All going off for their daily routines, all going about their lives. And that was what she wanted for all of them. Even Santana, who she really didn’t know about right now.
Ria re-emerged from the bushes once all the cars pulled out, making her way back towards the front door of her house and using her house key to let herself in. Everything about their house was quiet, peaceful...the way Ria liked it, honestly. She missed staying home more, or being able to stay in their house with out anybody else around. She used to do it all the time...but she wasn’t really sure who she was anymore anyways.
Ria made her way quickly down the hallway to her bedroom, unloading a small suitcase, and a few clothes covers to hang her better outfits in. Yes, she was serious about taking them with her, even if she knew she wouldn’t probably wear them. Normally she wouldn’t mind if Gaby or Santana borrowed something of hers for the day, but right now, it wasn’t something she felt entirely comfortable with. Stupid, and she knew it, but it was doing loads for her mental sanity to focus on packing up her favorite articles of clothing.
Putting each of the nicer things into the clothes covers, and throwing all kinds of comfort clothes into the suitcase was weirdly soothing to Ria. Maybe it was just the basic motion of it, and finally getting a second of privacy, but it was something she’d needed ever since she and Santana had that almost war, by her standards via text message. Which somehow made it worse, the fact that it wasn’t in person. She’d had a panic attack through the yelling, honestly...it took her a while each time all the messages came through, each ding from her sister getting more and more hostile to actually process it all. She didn’t understand. Honestly, she didn’t. She didn’t know why she was being yelled at, and she didn’t know why expressing her feelings meant she was crying out for attention or pity. That wasn’t what she wanted at all. She didn’t even really think she deserved attention, if she was being honest. But that was beside the point now.
She knew if she was going to do this, she had to at least tell her sisters. Or, Gaby, yeah. She’d write to Gaby. Ria took out a piece of notebook paper from her sparkly psychology notebook, writing in sharpie with big, scribbly bubble letters, and dotting her i’s with hearts like she always did.
“Gaby --
I’m sorry I did this, but I had to get away. I’m going to be living somewhere else for a while. I love you, but I can’t be here right now. Please don’t come looking for me, or go through my stuff. I just need space. I’m completely safe, I promise. I’ll be back soon. Tell mom and dad not to worry, and that I love them. Tell Santana that I love her too.
xoxo, Ria”
Ria had already made it a thing to basically cleanse herself of the stuff that reminded her of Ava. Dying her hair back to her natural color, abandoning her Twitter for a while. All of those things were the little things she knew she had to do before she did this big one. Because right now, she didn’t really know who she could trust, or what she was supposed to do, but she knew she needed space. From the show, from school, from her sisters, from Ava, from life. Everything was falling apart, and Ria could feel herself sinking. So maybe that’s what she was gonna do. Sink with it.
9:36AM.
Ria rolled the suitcase down her street, looking all around and watching out for anyone she knew, her family coming back, or some evidence of any fan or anyone related to the show. She had to make her getaway, and she had to make it fast. She moved as fast as her small frame would let her, hangers over one arm while she practically hid behind her sunglasses, and the giant sunhat she had on. If it wasn’t for the current circumstances, she probably would have had fun imagining herself as some kind of undercover spy on a top secret mission or something.
9:51AM.
Finally she got to where she’d parked her car, ways away from her house, and booked it out of there. The drive felt good, smooth, and maybe there was this weird part of her that was exhilarated by it all. The freedom. She didn’t need the reminder right now that it wasn’t really freedom if she was quite literally, running way from her problems, so that’s what she was going to call it. For now. Besides, she’d gotten the okay from the Harpers, who she assumed were all gonna be at school when she got there, but maybe she wanted to give herself a mental check out day anyways. She could always go to a spa, or get her nails done or something. She was long overdue, by her own standards.
12:30PM.
Two smoothies and a pedicure later, and Ria was pretty positive she was ready to go. Almost. I mean, she had to wait for someone to get back to the Harper’s, right?? She didn’t want to be rude. Maybe she could just go for a drive. Drive somewhere far away, or at least that felt that way. There was a part of her that sort of wished she could really run away, but she knew that wouldn’t be possible for a bunch of reasons. And maybe, underneath it all she was too scared to actually run away. What did that make her, a coward?? Pathetic?? Maybe all of the above. But Ria just drove for a while, away from where she knew there would be people from school, or the show. Away from the stuff that she was so afraid of right now. She just wanted to be alone. That wasn’t bad, right? Alone was good. When she was alone, no one could stop her.
2:03PM.
Finally, Ria pulled her small car up to the Harper residence. Which, upon doing so, she realized was going to be a problem. So she made it a point to approach the door quickly, getting out of the car with not much second thought and putting her hangers over one arm again while she rolled her suitcase with the other. It wasn’t until she approached the front door officially that she really realized that it was real.
She just ran out on her sisters, her life. She just erased Ava and parts of her life that had really meant something to her without even letting herself think twice about it.
Thick tears began to fill Ria’s eyes as she stood there for a second, practically trembling in front of the door. She was so, so happy that Blake and Eliza and all of them had been so nice about letting her stay there, and she knew it was something she needed, but it didn’t mean that this still didn’t hurt. That she still wasn’t scared to death, or completely unsure of if she could really make it through life or be anything more than useless at all. Maybe she wasn’t meant for all of that stuff after all. But one thing she knew she could do right now is hide.
Ria sniffled a few times, brushing away tears from her face before she approached the door, knocking on it quickly seven times while she tapped her foot subconsciously waiting for it to open. She couldn’t have been more relieved when she did.
“Oh my gosh, thank you SO much for having me, can I leave my stuff in here really quick and come back?? I have to move my car. I don’t want anybody to find it parked outside of your house.”