#lordofsunshadowsandsailor

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

“Have they ever attacked... anyone?” Alvar asked, his voice again breaking as peace totally abandoned him, while his imagination ran wild, up the steep mountain paths in the footsteps of his beloved Freddie, the most tormenting thoughts propelled by his fears, fueled by the tales of the monastic -- or an undercover agent? -- beside him.

<   previous             next  >

.

this update starts HERE

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

“Proper wolves.” Brother Gardener finally answered Alvar, once he exhaled the intoxicating perfume of jasmine and, in emptying the lungs, his mind seemed to clear, too. “And I’ve heard that, in past times, they invaded the kitchen for weeks in a row. The leader of the pack had learned just how to bring down the handle and push the door -- without making a sound. And without making any mess, and leaving behind no tracks, but posing a mystery to this community, they sacked the pantry. The pack’s leader was challenged to death, though, by a younger beast that, though more ferocious, were not equally smart, it seems, and they no longer break into the kitchen nowadays. The monks, of course, started actually locking the door, too, after one of the brothers, known to succumb to the sin of gluttony, had a very frightening encounter with the pack.” 

Alvar, though thoroughly interested in the terrifying tale, could not help but notice how Brother Gardener had referred to the monastics as ‘they’, and not as ‘us’, in referring to locking the kitchen door -- a frequent mistake he had to insistently watch his own speech for. That’s why he asked, “The monks?”

“Yes, of course. Who else?” Brother Gardener answered, sounding simply amused, without comprehending Alvar’s underlying doubt in such questioning. Another undercover agent?, Alvar wondered, and from which side, really? But Brother Gardener had continued, already.

“Since the last great fire crumbled parts of the outer walls, there seems to exist several breaches known to the wolves, that remain hidden from human scrutiny.” The Brother paused, maybe surprised with himself for, in Alvar’s company, being so talkative -- he, who had the reputation of being the most silent and reserved among the monastics, communicating only with the plants. He went on, trying to make Alvar talk, too. “Every once in a while they will prowl these grounds, especially if there is another wild animal trapped within the walls. You’ve seen yourself how deer seem to enjoy grazing in our gardens, haven’t you? Often we have to see them out through the gates, since they seem to forget the way they broke into, once their bellies are full...”

<   previous             next  >

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

“Human wolves?” And Alvar was not thinking about silly tales of werewolves, but about the rather palpable and proven beastly nature of humans making war. “Or proper wolves?” He asked, his voice breaking the moment he expressed that possibility. The anger and contempt Alvar had felt a moment ago, with the arrival of the Brother at his side, gave to the concerns and fears that had kept him from sleeping, and which had brought him to the orchard at so late an hour. 

Dreading Brother Gardener’s answer, Alvar concluded, “They wouldn’t venture inside the monastery grounds anyway, would they?” He murmured, for if he spoke any louder he feared his breath could extinguish the flame of the candle he had kept burning since Freddie had left the monastery. What obscure impulse made him bring the votive candle to light his path? Did he dare think the dim brilliance would somehow be seen by Freddie from the high peaks? Alvar now must shelter it with his hand, and his heart flickered with the flame, whipped by the breeze. What, if it went out? Would their bond weaken -- break? Would Freddie never return -- die?

<   previous                next  >

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

The nocturnal breeze brought crickets competing with the owls, and just as the frogs joined the plangent contend, its multitude of dissonant rhythms delivered to Alvar the painful memories of that stiff farewell, seven unaccountable nights ago, adding to his disquietude.

Brother Gardener, though a few steps away from Alvar, had immersed himself into a realm of completely different impressions. He hadn’t been on any nightly excursions since arriving at the monastery, and suddenly he understood why the community turned in so early. Not because the night intensified the mysterious sounds emanating from the forest, and evoked the threaten to be felt in all unseen -- for monks actually devoted their lives to the mystery of all mysteries, to the greater unseen. Weren’t it the reason the sensory powers of perfumes? Floating from the inner garden and the orchard towards the second floor, where the brother's cells were located, evaporating on their ascension, the aromas arrived at the dormitories as faint intrusions, incapable of inciting desire -- if compared to the seductive grip of what he now inhaled, standing right under and next to the blooming flowers, opening up like if undressing to fully offer themselves in the wild brothel of Nature. The dark, grave and fiercely matured sweetness of the star jasmine blossoms called towards flesh and not spirit, suggesting to any man subjugated by its smell, dense with antiquity, the once well known, experienced ladies laying now out of bounds -- and not the motherly virgin that should permeate their religious routine. Though, for Brother Gardener, the only meaningful lady in his life remained being his own mother, and perhaps one or two in an array of elderly aunts.

<   previous             next  >

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

They had said their goodbyes, extensive and complete with kisses and renewed vows of eternal love, in the privacy of their cells.

But Alvar, from under the stone portal of a side gate to the monastery, watching Freddie being engulfed by the shadows of the night, had with great struggle try to subject the impulse to run after his beloved cousin and embrace, kiss him one last time -- hoping it were not really the last. 

Wouldn’t it have been a touching scene, of lovers saying still another, passionate farewell -- if, only, one of the pair were a woman?

But, though a woman could properly, openly manifest love towards her man, and the other way around as well, Alvar did not wish to be a woman, nor did he wish Freddie to be a woman, nor did Freddie wish Alvar to be his woman -- for a woman, during war times, would have to be seating home. 

Cold and distant as they had to publicly pretend -- and Alvar regretted just that --, as two men they could be brothers in arms, and remain together at all times. They would never marry, either -- only because of the daily proximity with a church and religion Alvar was led to reflect upon their union, seen as a shame, as a sin --, but still, forever remain united with the most inventive of schemes.

<   previous             next  >

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

Except for the bit about crossing the mountains, the purpose of Freddie’s mission -- he who, until then, had remained undercover as a monk, too -- was unknown even to Alvar, who had seen him off that evening.

Following the accident at the closing of their previous mission -- the assassination, or killing of a peasant on neutral territory, though they never referred to the incident in those terms, since they never ever spoke about it again --, Freddie had fervently negotiated and finally arranged for their temporary withdrawal in the only terms that would possibly suit the cousins -- their remaining together no matter what. 

The superior echelons intended to relocate Alvar behind a table in the Intelligence quarters at The City -- while appreciative of his many intellectual skills, taking him for a nuisance and hindrance to Freddie’s field work, which mounted nothing short of indispensable. The quiet, isolated monastery, sitting on the site of what had once been a mighty fortress -- once conquered, burned to the ground, and later rebuilt as a dwelling for the peace makers --, among a network of small farms connected by precarious, informal roads, was located on neutral lands but conveniently close to the borders of enemy country, and suited both Alvar’s temporary (the word was often used by the lover cousins, though never by their commanding officers) retirement, and Freddie’s continued engagement.

<   previous             next  >

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

Four hours after the monks had retired, and four hours before they woke up for their personal prayers -- exactly at eleven in the evening, when the fraternity should be sound asleep, Freddie had left the monastery.

He wasn’t doing it in secrecy, though, as the abbot had been properly informed of his impending absence -- for an undetermined period.

Freddie looked fresh and content, as if going to visit a favorite place of his, and not setting out on a field mission that would take him across the mountains. And impossibly handsome, Alvar thought, dressed in dark, hiking clothes that melted him into the shadows he chose as the safest path; an equally dark, rather fancy fedora purposely covering his blond hair, that would otherwise gleam under the moonlight and give his movements away.

<   previous             next  >

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

Aware of having approached the other hooded man from the back, too quietly, silently even, for two seconds the monk dragged his leather sandals on the crushed gravel of the path leading into the orchard. How many men had walked that path before him? What thoughts occupied their minds, and what feelings filled their hearts, he wondered. How devout had they been, and was God a presence and longing pervading their souls at each step?

Intently, he watched the other monk that stood at the end of the row of wood arches give a start, if brief and subtle. Not intending to frighten but just intrude, it indicated to him that he had already broken the lonely man’s intense silence -- a silence not shared by the immense night, where a loud crowd of crickets seemed to respond to the muffled calls of the owls, as a lasting breeze made the fountain in the courtyard behind them sway erratically, the water sometimes pouring off its basin, while agitating the pine trees beyond the boundaries, making them sound like a distant river -- one that existed indeed, downhill, but that could not be heard within the monastery grounds.

<   previous           next  >