preview: pretty ooc, lighthearted bits to forget about the pain (and samuel's soon-to-be bald head)
Samuel: You think he knows what he's doing?
Jake: I wouldn't go that far.
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Samuel: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.
Samuel: *upends the bottle*
Jake: I think we're missing something.
Jason: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Sinu, going over Samuel's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.
Sinu: Okay... may I know what you create?
'Can I copy the homework?'
Jerry: I can help you with it!
Brad: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Lineman: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Samuel: Sounds fake but okay
Jerry: *A flustered mess*
Jason: can i get a refund
Samuel: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Jerry: Yeah watch your fucking language
Sinu: OKAY WHO TAUGHT JERRY THE FUCK WORD?
Jake: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Samuel: Oh my god he censored it
Jason: Do it, Jake. Say fuck.
Sinu: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'
Sinu: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.
Brad: Don’t worry dude I got this
Brad: *Stomps their feet*
Brad: *Skechers light up*
Jake: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Samuel: You people already know too much about me.
Jason: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
Yeonhui: I know you snuck out last night, Sinu.
*any big deal member really*: Hey, Sinu? Can I get some dating advice?
Sinu: Just because I’m with Yeonhui doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
Yeonhui: I've only known Jerry for a day and a half but if anything were to happen to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Samuel: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Sinu: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Jake: ...I did. I broke it.
Sinu: No. No you didn't. Brad?
Brad: Don't look at me. Look at Samuel.
Samuel: What?! I didn't break it.
Brad: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Samuel: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Jason: If it matters, probably not, but Lua was the last one to use it.
Lua: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Jason: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Lua: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Jason!
Jake: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Sinu.
Jason: Sinu... Brad's been awfully quiet.
*Everyone starts arguing*
Sinu, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Sinu: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Sinu: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
*The squad right before Yeonhui's wedding*
Samuel: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Jake: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Jerry: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Lineman: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Sinu, panicked: I THINK IT'S MY WEDDING
Jerry, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Lua, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Jason: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Lua: playing systemic oppression
Brad: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Jason: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Brad: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING JERRY WITH ME
Jake, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Jason: Jerry isn’t answering his phone
Jason: Brad and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
*Lineman, Jason, and Brad are sitting on a bench*
Jerry: Why do you guys look so sad?
Jason: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
Brad: The bench is freshly painted.
Jake: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Lua: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Jason: I got distracted about halfway through.
Samuel: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Samuel: Can I be frank with you guys?
Jerry: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Lineman: Can I still be Lineman?
Jake: Shh, let Frank speak.
