#luapoems

[luaorion]

No. 20

The butterflies in my stomach soon died after you left and my hands still search for you on my hips. Your eyes are hidden in every scenery and your words are in everyone’s mouth. Your hands are etched into every curve of my body and I’m constantly covered with goose bumps and I’m picking at my skin, scrubbing your touch off of my being.

©jd.lua

[luaorion]

Someone New

Infatuated with your lips.

Skeptical of every cheek they’ve touched, every shoulder.

How many words never made it past their barricade.

Or how many times the wind blew so roughly and so cold that they began to bleed.

Curious to watch you gently bite them as you’re deep in thought or you’re trying to look sensual.

Hoping one day they will dance across my skin, burning their imprint into my neck.

Making a trail from my sternum to an unknown destination.

And watch them move purely as you speak my name.

Studying every pucker, every smile.

Your lips are satisfying to my wondrous mind.

©jd.lua

[luaorion]

feels like I’m suffocating, everything is so fucking intoxicating. waves collapse over my body and leave me hallowed in the ground. sadness has filled my veins, the blood has stopped pumping and I’m the one to blame. that melancholy tune you play so well, it rings in the back of my head and the wind rips the flesh off of my bones.. I can feel my bones slowly decaying now.

©jd.lua

[luaorion]

I wrote about you today. Your name doesn’t hurt my hand anymore as I dot my i’s and cross my t’s. I wonder how you’re doing so well and why it took me so long to finally let your words dance across my paper. Your face floods my memory and I feel nothing. Your touch has left my skin and your lips aren’t pressed against my back. I can finally breathe in my sleep again and the bed doesn’t seem so big. I pour out my heart on this piece of crumpled paper and you can’t even miss me. The butterflies have escaped from my rib cage and my hands don’t shake anymore because they’ve stopped searching for you, darling. I miss you terribly and I ache for you to come back but I know it’ll never happen and you swore you loved me more than anything but you only told me when you slid your hands up my dress, biting your lip as you took an adventure of my body. Your missing touch has left me feeling so empty and it’s all your fault. Today I fucking wrote about you.

Lua Orion (©jd.lua)

[luaorion]

I was sown to you. With every fiber, we were stitched together. Separation could only cause us pain and loose ends. Feeling lonesome. Holding our breath as we plunged into the nothingness of each others minds, searching for a light. Lights that would resemble the stars. Like those nights we’d lay on that hill, deep in the woods, watching the stars create a story only we knew. The roots of the trees became unburied and ripped me from your grip, and the soil swallowed you whole. In the distance I heard a soft creaking, that seemed to get louder and more distinct. It sounded like the old wood floor we would dance on, in that run-down house over on Dreary Lane. Holding each other too close for comfort. And with each step, that damn floor began singing that horrid but lovely tune. One, two, three, two, two, three. On and on, it was the soundtrack of our short summer. Chapped lips and rough skin, your jawline haunts my fingertips. Bruised knees and that raspy voice, every word serenaded my being. Emotions would flood as our eyes locked, concentrating on each other’s gaze was all we had needed. Skinny dipping in that freezing lake, purple kisses and pale touches. That fall still crawls into my memory and replays itself ‘til I start shaking, screaming, aching for kind words to slip into my head once again. But my memory has started to fade since you’ve been gone. I’ve forgotten what your hair felt like as I ran my hands through it, and I’ve stopped smelling your scent everywhere I had gone. I can breathe. And now I’m starting to get familiar with the spin of the Earth, it’s like I’m on a ride that never stops.. except you’re not here to hold my hand. Simultaneously your touch has left my skin, and your lips are no longer pressed against my back. and darling, I promise, forgetting comes easily when you try your hardest to remember. It will all be okay, one day.

Lua Orion (©jd.lua)

[luaorion]

it all happened suddenly. accidentally. I’ve fallen into your grip and I don’t even mind. A normal person would hate it but darling I am delirious and I love it. it all happened suddenly. based on a lie. you became a part of me and I grew to fall in love with you. Heart aching, pulverizing love. it all happened suddenly. watching you love someone else. I wanted you to be happy, fuck. that’s all I ever wanted you to be.. happy with me. it all happened suddenly. we didn’t speak for a while. you couldn’t even miss me. you say you love me but how couldn’t you miss me. why didn’t you fight for me like I fought for you. it all happened suddenly. it was your birthday. you are doing so well without me. your words were warm, as if you can’t remember why we haven’t talked. you make it seem like it never happened. it all happened suddenly. I found out. shocked.. but I didn’t mind. it was real and I could taste it— my bones could feel it. it all happened suddenly. you trust me. she’s still there, back in your life sucking all your happiness. I’m still watching. it all happened suddenly. she’s gone. there’s someone new. someone prettier— someone better— someone who cares.. I’m still here. it all happened suddenly. she lied. used you. hurt you. you came to me and I— I swallowed my pride, like always, and comforted you.. helped you. it all happened suddenly. I’m getting tired. she’s back.. again. she’s going to hurt you.. .. I was right. it all happened suddenly. here we are. you can’t fucking open up your eyes. I’ve been here this whole god damned time. I show you I love you— I tell you I love you. you still can’t miss me. it all happened suddenly. nothing. nothing happened. you are cold and you are vague. you don’t process what I’m saying. how I’d do anything to finally touch you. to finally kiss you. for fucks sake, to finally be in your presence. I’m not enough. I never was. it all happened suddenly. I’m done. I confess how in love I am— you can’t say a thing. I try so hard to understand— you never let me understand. all I ever wanted was for you to be happy be okay miss me want me fucking be in love with me. Where was everyone else? —they weren’t here. Who was? I was.. always there. it all happened so fucking suddenly. All I wanted was for you to finally see me.. open your eyes and see me. I’m here. I’ve always been here. but now I’m not so sure if I even want you to miss me.

Lua Orion (©jd.lua)