#m:hcs

[boykingscourt]

thinking about dean calling sam gay for saying they should get reusable shopping bags for groceries

[evasjacks]

also tell us abt zoyalai arguing over room decor

There is no arguing because zoya wins every argument and nikolai refuses to believe he lost an argument so he just goes with what she wants the end 🙏

BUT in theory:

Zoya and Nikolai have complete opposite aesthetics bc we associate zoya with blue and silver, and Nikolai with gold and green so their room has to be some combination of both

of course zoya is queen so the whole thing is gonna be mostly tailored to her liking with the occasional sprinkle of nikolai

first: the walls are painted a light teal because nikolais blue was too depressing and most of the furniture is decked in gold, silver, and teal to sorta combine it but in a sexc russian royalty way yk? Kinda like this

Much less crowded tho because zoya insists they don’t need that much furniture

“how else will I lounge distressfully at any inconvenience?” “we’ll get you a bench.”

they do end up getting a bench it’s cushioned and fancy and inevitably becomes home to a cat zoya adopts which Nikolai thinks is her way of replacing him. It might be.

aside from that they make it feel as homey as possible in an attempt to keep out work and make it a little haven for them…which doesn’t always work but it’s a nice idea

and they live happily ever after the end

[zoyalais-moved]

tell me about zoyalai and how they had to ~pretend~ to be a couple which was the start, the thing that actually set off the rumours in ravka abt them possibly being together

Omg omg YES (I pulled a bit from annie's hc oops <3)

so other than the fact that when they're around each other it's like ✨no one else is in the room✨

they use each other to get out of things. nikolais being cornered by some old lady who wants her seventeen yr old daughter married off? zOYYA MY LOVVVE COME HERE 😍❤️

and she only agrees to this because it goes both ways. cuz I mean imagine these dukes coming to any sort of ball at the palace and seeing zoya in all her glory. just. everyone wants a dance and they're all old and make her uncomfortable and maybe their hands dip a little too low while dancing

one look from zoya and suddenly nikolais at her side, pulling her away- and pulling her *close*- it's a pretty obvious message. most of them take it.

mind you they don't say a word about it because of course they don't want some big scandal, but they do little things. zoya will come and rest a hand on nikolais chest and his eyes will soften when he looks at her (this !! is all !! pretend !! ofc !!) or nikolai will tuck her hair away and smile at her until the annoying suitor disappears again

point is: no one says they're together but...well no one says they're not

but something big must have happened for the rumors to start, right? and what better place for rumors to begin than in the palace itself. more specifically, through the servants.

it was an accident. honestly it had just been a really long day and zoya was too tired to get back to her room and the couch was right there and nikolai happened to be already asleep. it wasn't !! her fault !!

but when the maids come to present the king with his morning tea and see the way nikolai and zoya are wrapped in each other's arms (and I mean full on tangled, they're cuddling and mostly completely unaware of it)

zoya wakes up first and jumps back, unintentionally sending a gust of wind at nikolai, causing him to fall painfully onto the floor.

he gets up and glares at her groggily. she doesn't mention how good he looks with his messy hair and rumpled clothes, and he doesn't say that her eyes are brighter in the morning, and somehow her tone seems less sharp.

but they're both thinking it.

they don't talk about that night- because it meant nothing anyway !! and they totally don't think about it for hours after !!- but the servants talk. oh, they talk.

they're too afraid of zoya to say anything particularly bad about them, and far too lost to nikolais charm to spread hateful rumors. so when word does get out, it isn't a scandal about the unmarried king and his general. it's a story about a love that could never be.

It's almost tragic, nikolai thinks when it circles back to him

thank all the saints it isn't real

[boykingscourt]

samcrowley where sam is about to fuck him and crowley keeps like. laughing giddily. because he's so excited. and sam has to tell him to stop or else they aren't doing this

[boykingscourt]

jess telling sam "you totally could've played him you're much cuter than that guy" about the male love interest of every movie they watch together

[boykingscourt]

thinking about dean weaponized incompetence with bunker chores

[boykingscourt]

brady taunting sam about having raped him in college (something sam has never been sure about/almost convinced himself didn't happen) and making sure to do it in front of dean and after he's dead dean is like (accusatory) why didn't you ever tell me that and sam is like (small sigh, two episodes away from jumping into the cage) what does it matter anymore. and then walks away

[boykingscourt]

started thinking about john lessening sam's role on a hunt to an embarrassing degree waiting to see if he will complain about it so he can challenge sam about saying he doesn't want to hunt at all lately

like "oh you're 17? why don't you hold the flashlight for me and your brother like you used to do when you were little :) shouldn't be a problem for someone who hates the job"