Gift a preg ask
1. How far along am I? Overdue
2. How many babies am carrying? 3
3. How much weight do gain? 20lb (+ weight of babies/amniotic fluid)
4. How big is my bump? Huge and in the way
5. How long am in labor? Delayed
6. How difficult is it? You don't know yet
7. How big are my tits? Normal
8. Any other growth? Normal amount
9. Anything else? Be detailed, please
"Oh fuck."
I say, leaning back in my desk chair. My womb, a yoga ball of a belly, attempts to poorly ripple with faux contractions as the 3 kids that I'm currently carrying for a married couple across the street. I lean back massaging both the skin around my puckered belly button and the small of my back. These past few months I've been completely overtaken by 3 future football players, the swell of my belly after hitting the 4th month had me measuring full-term for a single baby. I grew way too fast to predict and by the time their due date came? They apparently turned to stones, sitting on my pelvis and bladder weighing me down and slowing every movement I could possibly think to do.
I can't even sit up properly! A 90 degree sit isn't even possible when this cast-iron yoga ball splays my legs into a permanent split and still pushes downwards! I'm always leaning back no matter if I'm standing or sitting to make room for this orb of dominance that I've rented out. Sleeping is a joke, laying on my side is impossible as my womb has expanded in all three directions from where it began 9 months ago. Those videos on Toktik of the "not pregnant 'till I turn around" check? Failed. 3 times over. People know I'm pregnant from the slosh of my sea of fluids raging inside me, All because I'm hosting the three sea monsters that claimed each and every cubed inch in me thrice over. I'm quite literally due to pop any day now. Just (im)patiently waiting for the cork to pop. :)