#mad ads

[crybabyhearts]

Sponsored by SalutInc - Where Everything is Absolute

[crybabyhearts]

Toilet Meadow

The call of nature is never far when ya have these pre-seeded toilet covers in your home! Six covers with a variety of grass ta cushion your ass! What more could ya ask for? This bathroom accessory is sure ta please the gentler bowel enthusiast no problem!

Sponsored by SalutInc - Where Everything is Absolute

[crybabyhearts]

Personal Cleansing Wheel

Tired a wipin your ass clean with paper that costs as much as a whole ass Christmas tree? We've got the solution to your financial problem. Take RotoWipe and never worry about the crevices a your ass not getting scrubbed clean again!

Sponsored by SalutInc - Where Everything is Absolute

[crybabyhearts]

Think outside a the box this Holiday Season! Who needs socks for their cold feet, or a new video game ta keep kids happy? When you've got--

Me!

Introducin some terms an conditions-- I am here in the Tumblr multiverse market ta play with fate!

So say goodbye ta basic sales, an say hello ta fast service mail!

Do ya want a bottle a liquid youth for your grandma? How about a checkbook that dont run out?

Need help crammin for exams? With my help you can perfectly memorize everythin you just read for up ta 3 years time! Oh my!

Further Information an Rates Below! ♠

All transactions an trades made on Tumblr will follow a "Thou Shall do No Harm" business model. While Salut Inc is the property of Hell, we believe in Good Business.

This means that there will be no intent ta harm, maim, or kill. Some may see the word "Demon" or "Nightmare" an think that we want nothin but cruelty. But in fact, we simply want happy clientele!

An how you'll be happy can be shaped by you! With our new an improved flexible payment system!

♠ CASH PAYMENTS ﹃

All potential clients are more than welcome to, an even encouraged, to choose this plan! Cash (digital or otherwise) is the easiest way ta get your promised wishes without havin to worry about payments later down the line! All wishes come with their own rates an conditions. Choosin this payment method will lock you into a fixed rate calculated at the time of wish makin. No payments are required prior to delivery or exchange- givin you a window of time ta cancel the transaction if you so please! But I don't know why you'd want to!

♠ EXCHANGES & TRADES ﹃

Do you have something extraordinary on your hands? Somethin you could live without but would make others go "WOAH!"? Then you've got yourself a trade! No deposits, payments, or otherwise! We are always in the market for the freaky shit the multiverse can crap out! Ain't nothin sell better than somethin no one's ever seen before! All ya hafta do is match your request with an item, skill, or potential working contract a equal value! Easy as PIE!

♠ FAVORS ﹃

When you hear "favor" you usually think "I'm screwed.", but I am HAPPY ta let ya know that, that? Ain't the case! Favors are a special kind a currency, somethin ta build trust with. An I don't believe in fuckin up my flow. SO let's get inta em, shall we? ♠ Endless Checkbook - Endless Checkbooks come with a steady favor of Promotion, as every check is Salut Inc branded. ♠ Three Years of Crystal Clear Memory - This can include favors such as; The Use of Your Voice*, An Extra Tax Taken from Your Income, Promotion, etc! *When agreein to the conditions of Salut Inc usin your voice you are hereby consentin ta the followin examples: marketin lines on the radio, covers of songs, advertising campaigns, and more! ♠ A Bottle of Liquid Youth - Can I ask you a favor? Will you sign your soul away ta me so this bottle a youth can find its way to your loved ones lips? Now I'm sure this one sounds like a doozey! But you hafta consider the weight a life. Other RATES apply! (Soul favors do not increase the risk of death, or expedite it. Soul favors are simply that, a favor. Once the signed dies (a death without ANY second party involvement, even manipulation an hirin) their soul will simply be that of Salut Inc's jurisdiction, an will result in a specified Hellscape (Ours).)

SIDENOTE!!

Raph's been on my ass about takin breaks an makin friends. So bein my friend could count as a sort a favor. But you've gotta play the part! ;* Parties, board room bitchin an ventin, an hangovers galore!

That should be most things important or another! Business Inquiries @ IM's.

[crybabyhearts]

Kroger's Chocolate Honey Nut Crunch

Sure to keep you coming back for more, this ice cream is jam packed with flavor. Chocolate ice cream meets honey swirls and delicious pieces a toffee and nuts. If this doesn't drive you cocoa, what will?

Sponsored by SalutInc - Where Everything is Absolute

[crybabyhearts]

Sponsored by SalutInc - Where Everything is Absolute

[crybabyhearts]

Sponsored by SalutInc - Where Everything is Absolute

[crybabyhearts]