#magisowo

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear magisowo,

I've been growing up oak trees on my balcony, ready to plant out in a community woodland next year.

They're doing so well that a juvenile Ghillie Dhu has decided that they're a forest glade and taken up residence.

I'm not sure that a third floor balcony is the right place for a (young) old man of the woods and I don't want to accidentally domestic it (it already likes to join me for my morning coffee and smoke).

Any advice on how to gently re-home a lost forest spirit?

Hello!

That is quite the conundrum. We have consulted several experts, but we have not yet found any successful attempt to transplant a Ghillie Dhu. They pose a particular challenge because they bond with a whole woodland rather than a single tree.

Some researchers believe that they generally prefer birch woods over all others. But even if we could find a suitable birch grove, it is unlikely we could persuade this spirit to move to a place it has no knowledge of. It is very likely, however, that when the trees are moved and planted, the Ghillie Dhu will go with them. If it is possible for you to host him until then, that might be the most gentle solution. There is little chance of any harm coming to a being like this by being exposed to humans. They are known to interact with humans and look out for lost children ever since our mutual discovery.

Should this be impossible, we have enclosed the details of an occult arborist, who can attempt to trap the Ghillie Dhu in a single tree, which can then be moved. But this is obviously not an ideal solution and a bit of a last resort.

We really hope you can work something out,

~ the MagiSoWo Team

[laurasimonsdaughter]

I’ve found a jackalope in my backyard and I need help. What do these things need?

Hello!

Thank you for contacting the Magically Informed Social Work! Finding a lone jackalope is certainly an odd occurance, they live in herds out in the wild and generally do not strike out on their own for too long.

Jackalopes are wild creatures, but they are sometimes bred in captivity and if you have a tame jackalope in your yard it might be a lost runaway. If it actively tries to approach you, that's probably the case. In that case you can offer it water, hay, and leafy greens and call your local animal welfare organisation to check in if someone reported a missing pet jackalope.

If it is a wild jackalope and it does not seem sick or injured you had better leave it alone, it will probably go back to its herd at some point.

One thing we do need to mention, if the antlered, rabbit-like creature you found has wings and a long tail, it is not a jackalope. It is most likely a wolpertinger and we advise you to stay away from it and contact Occult Animal Welfare at once.

Best of luck!

~ the MagiSoWo Team

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[laurasimonsdaughter]

specialised relationship advice needed - how do I discuss commitment with someone more-than-mortal?

My partner is around 200 (she lost count during the "Great Binge" in the early 1900s) and we've been together for 5 years.

Things have plateaued in the last 18 months because whenever I try to talk about our future she uses her dark and inevitable fate as an excuse to end the conversation.

She claims that she's cursed to wander the world forever, because of a broken geas. In fact I'm pretty sure she's as long lived as she is because her grandma is a Trow. Terrible row when I brought that up.

How do I talk to someone who thinks I, a mere mortal, could never understand them, and is there any way of proving the whole "fate" thing is horseshit and a defense mechanism?

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out, that sounds like a very difficult situation to be in. It's clear you care a lot about your partner, but it's very natural that the behaviour you describe frustrates you.

Whatever the cause or causes for the difference, relationships of all kinds between individuals with wildly varying lifespans always come with special challenges. But then, so it is with all relationships. The way we see it, whether your partner is subject to a geas or not is less important within your relationship than the fact that you have a desire for commitment she seems to reject. And while that is something we see a lot within couples where one partner is much longer lived than the other, because a (near-)immortal life comes with a lot of loss and grief, it is something mortal couples struggle with just as often.

There is a peer support group called (Im)mortally Founded that meets on various of our locations at different times. If you'd like to find people (in the broad sense of the word) that might have struggled with similar challenges as yourself, this could be the place to find them. But our online resources also includes a registry of verified professionals who provide (couples) counseling, and for whom we can vouch that they have shown the necessary experience with the occult and commitment to the welfare of the supernatural community.

Whatever you decide, please don't hesitate to drop by, with or without your partner!

~ the MagiSoWo Team

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear magisowo,

Is there any legal and safe way to get "cursed" into being an animal forever? I'm tired of being a person and would rather live the rest of my life as a bird. A plain animal, NOT a were creature (they are lovely folks but I don't want the responsibilities of being a person and am not interested in shifting back to a human form).

- tired creature

Dear tired creature,

The simple answer to your question is no, there is neither a legal nor a safe way to be permanently transformed into an animal. The more important answer, we think, is that it is magically impossible for you to be changed in such a way, whether it be through curse, blessing or charm.

You are a person, with all the glorious good and aching bad that entails. That cannot be changed. There is a reason why transformation curses are generally so easily broken and why shape changing magic wears off over time. Your shape may be changed, but underneath the feathers it will still be you. Your mind, your wishes, your knowledge, there isn't any magic strong enough to permanently force that into a different shape. Some people do look profoundly different after such magic wears off, but they always return to what they never truly ceased to be: people.

So, we cannot give you the answer you probably hoped for. But if you'd ever like to talk about those exhausting responsibilities of personhood, our doors are always open.

Affectionately,

~ the MagiSoWo Team

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear Magisowo 

Im a dwarf woman in need of some advice, mainly on how to convince my overbearing parents to let me live my life. 

As i’m sure you know to us dwarves beards and body hair aren’t just a male or stylistic thing. Both sexes being hairy and bearded for better and worse, beards especially holding a lot of cultural value and significance. Shaving being seen as an extremely taboo thing amongst more traditionally minded dwarves, and this is where my problems begin. I come from a highly traditional dwarf household, my folks being super steadfast in their belief and values, my father especially. Me and my parents have always been butting heads and it’s gotten especially bad recently ever since they found out I started shaving.

I never really liked having my hair long, not on my head nor my face yet I was always forced to wear it that way my whole life by my folks. Recently however after moving out I’ve made the decision to start shaving and it’s improved my life greatly. I can wear all the cute outfits I want and I enjoy my beard short, being both less maintenance and more stylish. The only problem is my parents refuse to accept it, they believe that I’m “rejecting my dwarven heritage” or “fallen for human none-sense” and can’t seem to wrap their heads around my reasoning no matter how much I try to explain it to them. 

Is there any way I can get them to if not accept, then to atleast understand that that this is a personal choice I’m making and to accept my life choices and boundaries. Their stubborn old stones yet I do love them and want them to realize this is something I want to do. 

Signed: Shaved Dwarf Lass 

Dear Shaved Dwarf Lass,

Perhaps it will comfort you to know that generational clashes over various ways of personal expression have been happening in dwarven culture (as in any culture) for centuries. It is not a new thing, nor is it exclusively linked to dwarves living alongside humans or other communities. Although that has certainly been a big influence lately. It is not impossible your parents vividly remember dwarven cultural dress and hairstyles being actively looked down upon by non-dwarves, but that doesn't mean you should have to give up feeling comfortable in your own body.

If your parents are worried you are turning away from your heritage, or feeling pressure to conform to someone else's desires than your own, perhaps there are other activities you can do with them to demonstrate this is not the case.

Depending on your own feelings with regard to your choice to shave and whether this means something to your identity or not, it might be interesting to look into dwarven hairstyles from history. There have been wonderful exhibits of the subject, led by dwarven historians. It is not so long ago that it was customary for dwarves to keep the center of the chin almost clean shaven, and the change to a center braid was considered very shocking at the time. If any of these examples from history resonate with you, that might be something to share with your parents and open the conversation in a way that frames this as your free choice as a dwarf, instead of how they seem to perceive it.

Best of luck,

~ the MagISoWo Team

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear MagISoWo,

I have a problem, my best friend is a werewolf, but that’s not the issue. I think I have a crush on him. I want to know what it’s like to date a werewolf so I can be prepared for when I actually work up the courage to confess to him.

Hello!

While we really understand the nerves and uncertainty that can come with entering into any new relationship, the truth is that you will be able to answer that question much better than we can. We don't know your friend. You do.

Werewolves, like humans, are not one homogeneous group. Of course they share certain characteristics, but those will not be the personality traits and preference that will influence your relationship with your friend.

If you feel like having more information or someone understanding to talk to will help your confidence in this matter, we recommend checking out the Lunar Foundation. Their main focus is providing support to werewolves and other shifters, but they also organise community groups for non-shifters with significant relationships with werewolves.

Besides that, if you would like an expert’s insight on healthy supernatural relationships and intimacy, we’d like to refer you to our Australian colleague Dr Olivia Seabrooke, who hosts the advice show Supernatural Sexuality.

Wishing you all the best,

~ the MagiSoWo Team

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear MagISoWo,

I am a recently turned vampire. Over the past few weeks as an undead being, I have destroyed at least ten toothbrushes while trying to brush my teeth. I don’t know if it’s the jaw strength or my fangs that’s causing it. I don’t want my teeth to decay. Any advice? Are there vampire-friendly toothbrushes?

Thank you,

-Vampire with tooth troubles

Dear Vampire with tooth troubles,

You're definitely not the first vampire who has had this problem! Luckily the organisation Fanged, Fledged and Future-proof (F3) has lots of information about dental hygiene on their website, specifically aimed at newly fledged vampires. As far as we understand a special brush isn’t required, but they are available.

However, dental research into vampiric teeth is still rather in its early stages. While most vampires prefer to keep to a mortal teeth cleaning routine, there is no conclusive evidence there is actually any threat of decay. While discoloration of teeth definitely does occur, and this can be combated by brushing, it is still unclear if vampires are capable of getting cavities. It is certainly very rare, but of course this does not mean it’s impossible.

Regardless, F3 should have all the information you need to adjust to your new dental situation!

All the best,

~ the MagISoWo Team

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear Magisowo, id like some legal advice if you have any.

I’m a wizard and have recently acquired and renovated my home into a proper wizard tower. However problem is I’ve been getting harrased by the local HOA, them complaining that my tower is an “eyesore” and “disturbing” their neighborhoods image. My tower was built perfectly legally, I’ve got all the proper building permits and followed all local county tower laws. That still isn’t enough for them as they’ve sent countless “inspectors” who’ve found nothing, and have been sending threats of legal action. Is there any way to get them to stop and do their threats actually hold weight?

Good morning!

That sounds like a horrid situation and let us assure you: this so-called Homeowner Association hasn't got a leg to stand on. Of course neighbours are always free to band together for purposes of mutual support - like establishing a feral griffin watch or communal herb garden - but legal rights are only granted in the case a HOA of owners that share communal real estate. As is the case with apartment complexes where one buys an apartment instead of renting it.

If your home is a detached building and you obtained the proper planning permission, your tower construction is perfectly legal. I imagine these people are threatening to report your building to the urban aesthetics commission, but if you have your papers in order the municipality will have ran your plans by them already. Besides, wizard towers are protected under the Occult Habitat Provision, as studies have shown they are a requirement for performing certain types of magic and frequently attract endangered magical species.

We advise passing this information on to the individuals that are bothering you, asking them politely to stop, and if need be warn them that you will treat their actions as intentional harassment if they continue. We will send you an example of how to keep a log to build a harassment case, if worst comes to worst.

We absolutely can not recommend contacting the Wizard Orb Assistance Helpline (WOAH) and inquiring after the latest neighbour-repelling wards that they have on file under Occult Commons. That would be irresponsible from a community building perspective and as such we would under no circumstances advise you do such a thing.

All the best,

~ the MagISoWo Team