[or this idea by @bealittleimprobable and @im-the-punk-who but as a fever dream]
Rosa: welcome to "A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action Please", where me and my sexy goth assistant -
Isobel: *wolf-whistles*
Rosa: ow! Fuck, Alex! Ok, my bitchy little emo assistant and I will try to increase your chances of survival and get it through your thick skulls that you should always shoot first and ask questions later.
Kyle: I'm extremely not comfortable with that
Rosa: tough shit. Do you want to get kidnapped again? Or wear bulletproof vest all your life? Do you?? Well then always be prepared to shoot some bitches.
Liz: but what if they have unique, important knowledge that will be forever lost? What if there's a way to work with them first and steal their secrets?
Rosa: NO, BAD LIZ. What did we talk about?
Liz: ...no more trying to befriend psychopaths for access to their research.
Rosa: right. Remember, survival first, making sure the Pod Squad And Assorted Weirdos are safe second, THEN curiosity.
Max: I still object to that name
Rosa: duly noted. Now, any questions?
Maria: what if I don't have a gun on hand? Or any fancy offensive powers?
Rosa: glad you asked! You may have noticed Alex hitting me in the ear with his empty coffee cup earlier. My plucky little helper is here to talk about Improvised Weapons. Stop rolling your eyes Alex and hop to it.
Alex: in combat engagements of this type, speed is key. Unless you've had time to prepare, use whatever is within your reach and aim for the head. Anything sufficiently heavy will make a decent projectile at a short distance - don't try to hurl it far unless you've trained for it, but throwing a smaller or otherwise unwieldy heavy object like a laptop, a rock or a centrifuge, either with your hands or powers, will give it additional kinetic energy to make sure your blow incapacitates the target. Remember, your goal is to get away and regroup with the rest of PSAAW so you only need to momentarily blind, knock out or block the target from pursuing you
Liz: how about bringing down an avalanche on them?
Alex: great example, Liz
Michael: ...like it's hard, I could make it rain rocks any time...
Alex: oh I know you could, baby. Now, next slide, please? Thank you Rosalinda. With this category of objects that offer a good grip in addition to mass, like a baseball bat or a wrench, you can control the blow at the expense of getting a little closer to the target, but in a close combat scenario they may be your best bet.
Isobel: would dildos work?
Alex: depends on the model. I’m afraid most of your stash would make better projectiles or - hold that thought, we’ll come back to this in the strangling & garroting section. Now, for a little demonstration on the current topic first. Max, can you come up here?
Max: ummm, is that a rubber chicken?
Alex: yeah, we didn’t have anything else that would fit the purpose of the demonstration. Now, depending on your relative positions you can target the enemy’s eyes like this or this... or their temples for best stunning potential, see?
Michael: oh, I see the stunning potential
Alex: not at work, babe. Now, when they are down like this, you can take the opportunity to swing your arms, gather some momentum and bash them over the head like - that.
Dallas: oh I can’t watch this
Alex: please stand up straight again, Max, one more demonstration. If you're coming from below, don't go for the chin, try to angle to crush their windpipe.
Max and the rubber chicken: eeek!
Alex: Thank you Max, you may sit down again. Do you want a tissue? Here, drink some water.
Liz: you’ve been very brave, honey.
[2 hours later]
Alex: any other questions?
Isobel: yeah, teach... can you give me a personal demonstration of those close-contact sharp object insertion techniques?
Kyle: I, I ha - I have a syringe?
Isobel: aww, you’re the sweetest. But I wanted to get up close to check out Alex’s instrument...
Rosa: Michael, stop strangling your sister, break it up pendejos!
put your tunes on shuffle and write the first ten that come up! (pls be aware that I’ve got like three apps to listen to my music so, I’m picking the one that has the most songs :P)
begging for thread - banks
don’t stop me now - queen
this is what it feels like - armin van buuren
gorgeous - taylor swift
when we were young - adele
pills and soap - elvis costello
hey you - fallulah
show me love - robin shulz
time of my life
latch - disclosure
tagging: @rawrkittenpurr @dearprongs @firstwizardingwar @headstudents @toddsfall @ghostsinthedaylight @jonsnowhite @peppermoonchild and like anyone else tbh
If anyone would be so kind, I could really use a beta reader. I have published fanfiction exactly never times before and I'm not a native speaker, so another pair of eyes would be very much appreciated. The fic is post S2 Michael's POV groundhog day AU with a temporary character death in the time loop (yeah, you guessed it, Alex's), so basically it's just Michael going feral in various distressing ways and while it may sound like it has a plot with some kind of action even, I assure you, it's all Emotions Without Plot. Here's six sentences so you can imagine what to expect and more info below the cut if you're interested.
‘But the slime sample reacted differently today when presented with human cells – namely, mine and Rosa’s and that’s promising!’ as Kyle continued, Michael wondered idly if the presentation of human cells occurred in the form of Rosa sticking her finger in the alien goo. ‘It actually let the cells through – to a point, but we hope the actual wall structure of the antipodes might allow a human to, well, manipulate it or break through.’
‘We haven’t come any closer yet' Alex nodded towards where the antipodes loomed cold and oozing, a few yards from the group. ‘But we don’t have much time; most likely less than an hour.’ Alex ran his hand through his hair, the soft strands were recently trimmed back to regulation length but still the prettiest anyone’s hair had the right to be and Michael’s hands ached to touch it. He clenched his left hand, it was second nature to expect the pain.
More about the fic: I have 5 parts out of 7 mostly done and ready for a beta read, they clock in at around 6,5k words out of estimated total of about 8-9k. There's some serious hand-waving of science I'm uncertain about, so far it's heavy on the angst and there are some - forgive me - puns.
What I'm hoping for from a beta:
you might've noticed my propensity for long compound sentences. I need someone to check whether they're still intelligible (doesn't have to be a native speaker)
general spellcheck etc. would be very appreciated, especially since my autocorrect hates English
I might ask your opinion on some themes and images I hoped to put across
any input on characterisations, plot, wording etc. is welcome actually
I do best with external accountability so that's also what I need a beta for
I have no idea what I'm doing so any advice on what to tag, how to post etc. would be nice, but basically I just need someone to tell me whether it's publish-able
If you'd like to spend some of your time to read over my stuff and give me feedback, sweet! I guarantee you'll have my undying gratitude and any fan-services I might provide in return. Just DM me and we can go from there 😀😄 😅
