#malmö2024

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #07

07. ITALY Angelina Mango - "La Noia" 7th place

Decade Ranking: 29/190

Last year, something utterly surreal happened: After 9 years of male dominance, Italy finally picked a WOMAN to win San Remo. As you can imagine, whatever remained of the collective fandom's brains were immediately fried, as they tried to process this unique anomaly. Spain's entrants brought an Italo-Disco song after being rejected by San Marino, San Marino were represented by a Spanish band singing about their Benifest experience, and now Italy were sending a female-fronted cumbia tune which sounded more Spanish than either of them.

It took a bit longer to fully win me over though. Unfortunately, I am not a sexist, and my inherent contempt for San Remo extends to everyone who parttakes in it, not just the men. I found it bemusing that the eventual San Remo winner sounded so... cheap?

'LA NOIA' :tinned trumpet: 'LA NOIA' :stock guitar riff:

Like, I am vaguely aware that splicing in LoFi effects into upbeat songs is kinda Dardust's thing (is this the composer's equivalent to an 'ad-lib'?), but 'La Noia' sounds like Russ Landau's rejected Survivor: Nicaragua theme at times. 😍

'La Noia' is also not a natural fave of mine, since I'm more of a 'Sing Along' than a 'Dance Along' type of music enjoyer. (That is to say: I can hold a decent tune and absolutely cannot dance... unless you count 'flailing limbs around with no coordination while making stupid faces' as dancing, lol <3)

Fortunately, I eventually embraced the song unironically because (1) it's a cunty bop and (2) like Angelina I despise boredom and welcome anyone seeking to distract me from it. The song was fun, and she was an engaging performer, both vocally and rhythmically, a STRICT departure from the crestfallen indifference with which I sit through Italian entrants sometimes. Finally, an Italian entrant WORTHY of being added into my rotation.

But Angelina also distinguished herself from her predecessors by actually being invested in her own participation. She attended pre-parties and mingled!!! Thanks to Gabe, everyone remembers that it was she who -at the moment where Eurovision was at its absolute lowest- descended to the Press Centre to sing calming songs to the distressed fans and press. WE LOVE A HUMANITARIAN PR QUEEN. An action for which the EBU fined RAI btw. How the fuck is the EBU still alive as an organization?

So of course, Europe paid her efforts back with Italy's lowest result in the decade so far.

Many have already correctly pointed out that the big culprit was the staging, but that's an umbrella term that doesn't cover the specific errors. A energetic dance routine was the correct approach, as girlbops gotta fuckin girlbop and the execution was excellent. The issue was the general aesthetic, which doubled down too hard on the 'Crown of Thorns' line for a song about OVERCOMING BOREDOM. It created a dreary vibe for what is essentially three cheery minutes of music.

That said, having ranked Angelina 7th myself, I agree with the result. I will say it again - it's mostly the men that are unfairly forgiven for inaccuracies women are rated fairly for - and 7th overall is perfect for what 'La Noia' was: the best girlbop in the year. How nice that, now that Eurovision is on its way out, Italian results have finally learned to align with my own personal tastes. ^__^

[artnuuk]

My logo idea for

///////// Eurovision Song Contest

🇸🇪 SWEDEN // Malmö

2024

///////// one ofUS!

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #08

08. LITHUANIA Silvester Belt - "Luktelk" 14th place

Decade Ranking: 31/190

The clapping at the start. 😔😔 I miss audience interactions. We're back to that portion of the spreadsheet where I struggle capturing my affection for the song in words!! I dunno, sometimes the review is just that the song is a solid 8.5/10, and that should be obvious to anyone with ears. if 'Luktelk' isn't for you, I'd reconsider whether Eurovision is for you. 'Luktelk' was a very fun and competent banger, tailored for the Euroclub gays and the occasional stray introverts like myself that have been adopted by people with social ability. It's one of those songs that feels both polished and professional without coming across as anti-septic and soulless. A strong uptempo bop in the style of (and frankly, better than) Troye Sivan, by Nemo's token male friend.

It was never going to do anything surprising at Eurovision, though. As soon as we first heard it in Evrovizija.LT we knew it was going to likely win, then effortlessly sail through to the final and -due to being a song by Lithuania in Lithuanian- become a sacrificial lamb to the jury, as they STILL haven't received the memo Lithuania is a real Eurovision country now and their songs are really goddamn' good, at like... a consistent year-to-year basis.

Indeed, Silvester delivered merely the upscaled version of his NF staging, and that's enough to remain a fixture in my lower top ten. He sang, he banged, he bopped. Silvester delivered exactly what he should have, no more, no less, end of. I am making a point by showing the performance in the Grand Final, however. Normally I rank strictly on the bases of the best performance, but it really is worth underlining that the performance shown above is BY FAR Silvester's least fave live of the song, for obvious reasons. It is INSANE that he STILL nailed that under those circumstances, and that really shows his talent as a performer. Almost as insane as qualifying for the final and then feeling like you shouldn't have.

In conclusion: FUCK THE EBU! + Lo and behold YET ANOTHER YEAR where Lithuania is the strongest Baltic 😍 (continued in 2025 as Tavo Akys is indeed better than Bur Man Laimi, but the gap's smaller there). MOVIN' ON UP~

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #10

10. UNITED KINGDOM Olly Alexander - "Dizzy" 18th place

Decade Ranking: 35/153 [Above Last Dance, below Monika Linkyte]

Gotta love the commitment to the art here, it's really giving:

I'm getting ahead of myself, but yeah I fucking loved "Dizzy". It was a really good entry that of course, was never going to get a single televote. They exist, and this is one of them.

But first, let's get the unfun bit out of the way: Olly Alexander was bullied. I'm not going to address that any further. Those responsible need to dc from the internet, because it clearly brings out the absolute WORST in them.

In these times of overwhelming negativity, I find it important to be POSITIVE whenever possible, so here we are - 'Dizzy" was far from perfect, but I love it nevertheless. SOMETHING GOOD to come out of Olly's miserable ESC journey.

At the core lies a really, really good song. I'm biased, obv - basic Synthpop IS my safe zone, and "Dizzy" is basic synthpop that perfectly articulates what I want / am missing from my intimate life.

"Why don't you make me DIZZY FROM YOUR KISSES

Take my hand AND SPIN ME

Round and round 'till this MOMENT NEVER ENDS

:sadsynth:"

It's unabashed in its hopeless romanticism, in it's naive optimism and in it's tragic, inevitable conclusion.

Okay, now we address the performance. The vocals, let's get that out of the way, we're not good, but they weren't detrimental enough for me to care. They were a step up from Mae, and the overall packages was still enjoyable, so whatevs.

The staging though, ho boy I have all the opinions. The bottom line is that i LOVE it but I'm also shocked they went with something so... QueerTube coded?

I don't CARE that it was on-stage seppuku.

I don't CARE that it was the raunchiest thing in the goonerverse.

I don't care that it served "Inclusivity, but only for queen men".

I get it, I understand, I accept it. Single Gay Men such as myself and Olly often deeply crave unrequited emotional affection, tenderness, a lover's gentle caress, but as Gay Men have learned to repress those cravings and not speak of them. Including to others.

So instead, we often default to the easiest alternative: Grindr, and all the depravity that comes with it. Kinkster-tinged debauchery as a form of escaping the lonelyness we feel in our hearts.

AND THAT, I think it was what Ted Uni Dom King were intending to convey with their staging. It's a tragic, but poignant combination of inner brittleness and outwards brutality and vulgarity that is so painfully real for so many (too many) strong codependent homosexuals.

THERE ISN'T AN END

THERE ISN'T A START

I DON'T WANNA STOP

I CAN'T GO TOO FAR

Ironically, he took the Sexual Thing way too far, bless. 😍 Literal cowgirling in a family show <3 If the objective was to score televotes they definitely shouldn't have went there. Inclusivity is achieved through including everyone, not by specifically showcasing your marginalized group (hopeless homosexuals => so, me). Considering that the majority of the viewing audience this year were wine mom karens and their tory husbands, it didn't go down quite as well, but like who cares? "Dizzy" pissed off all those that spend their afterlives within the nine circles of hell: bigots, karens, tories, pearl-clutchers, zionists, bleeding hearts, keyboard warriors, eurosnobs and LBG-without-the-T Cigarettes. Press their (nonexistent) hearts, King.

Also, I refuse to call the staging bad, because "Dizzy" frankly, was a bit basic as a song. It NEEDED to go big and take a huge risk, and it took it, fuck the consequences. It showcased a boldness that I can respect.

Furthermore, I just love the concept and how it flows? Like yeah it was erotic, but it was still doing with a sense of aesthetics. The showerroom shenanigans, the shaky cam, the topsy-turvy angles. Olly DESPERATE search for some level of intimacy from his collective of xwitter oomfbots. This was a much better representation of eroticism and desire compared to say, Sekret. (then again, I think "Sekret" borders on harrassment ♥) It suited the song and made it better.

So in this end, yeah. This entry is for me and people like me and NOBODY ELSE lmfao. 😂 Its low placement in the televote is also a massive defeat for the contest, but that's a whole nother discourse and I refuse address that. I'm still looking for a kind, cute beefy himbot who wishes to make me dizzy with his kisses, so DMs are open for applications. The only requirement is that you like Sebi...x

THE RANKING.

[euvin87]

Nutsa Buzaladze, representante de Georgia en 2024, anunciará los resultados del jurado georgiano en Eurovisión 2025. 🇬🇪🎤🎶

[lolasrambles]

Why Ireland Should send a Traditional Irish Song in Irish to Eurovision.

This is different from my usual posts but I just wanted to get my opinion out there😁

Before you roll your eyes at me, just let me explain. Recently, Ireland has sent really, really, REALLY bad songs to Eurovision and because of that, we haven't qualified for the Grand Final in over FIVE YEARS!!

Recently I have noticed that folk songs or songs inspired by folk music have done well (for example My Sisters Crown from Czechia which placed 10th in the grand final this year), so I started digging deeper into own-language songs and how well they've preformed.

This year proved that non-English songs can become international hits (for example Cha Cha Cha from Finland), and for some time now, I have seen fresh calls from people for Ireland to send an Irish song or a trad song.

As a fluent Irish speaker, I would love to see my language represented at this competition and for the European (and Irish) people to see how beautiful Gaeilge is, but our major challenge is the Irish people themselves.

Irish people have a hatred for Irish because of how it is taught in schools, and they refuse to take a chance to send a song that is DIFFERENT.

So if you speak Irish (and if you can sing) please, PLEASE consider entering a song into our National Selection for Poball na Ghaeilge (and to somewhat redeem ourselves in this competition)