dale arbus: this is obvious. all the man wants to be is a husband. he will commit crimes for this goal. what he will not do is engage in simple communication with his fiance about why the crimes are being committed. he is also canonically clumsy, poor at money management, and bad at cleaning things up. more trophy husband than malewife for sure.
andy campbell: once again a man with three main goals in life - be a good husband, a good father, and a good teacher. while he struggles with executing these his heart is in the right place and through hand-to-hand combat utilizes quick-thinking strategies to gain advantages. this man definitely uses the phrase “life hack” unironically but keeps house excellently because of it.
charlie kelly: this man has been married once in his life and kept his marriage certificate around his neck the whole time. frank reynolds did not appreciate him enough and has since divorced him but charlie still keeps house exquisitely when he puts his mind to it. the skill is there, but the desire is tricky. while he does not seek attention or praise for his malewifeing skills, he does seek out employment that is based around cleaning and has confessed to a therapist that he does, at the end of the day, enjoy that work. because of this i can conclude that in the right environment he would be a splendid malewife who would not deny his enjoyment.
newton geiszler: this is a messy, chaotic man but a brilliant one nonetheless. he would absolutely never admit to enjoying the malewife lifestyle but he would look really good in a little maid getup and he is a scientist so i’m sure he can figure out the logistics of househusbandry therefore his rating is accurate period.
newton geiszler (uprising, derogatory): this man’s capabilities for malewife tasks have drastically decreased along with time spent with hermann. coincidence? i think not. however, he is now more likely to admit to liking the role. either because of the precursors basically making him their bitch or because at the end of it all he realizes that he actually would look really good in a kitchen wearing a little frilly apron.
acapulco / manfred stone: this man would be the shittiest malewife ever no explanation needed. however, i could fix him.
thank you for coming to my ted talk. i will now be accepting questions and comments.
where are ppl getting the idea that acapulco’s real name is manfred stone? i don’t remember seeing anything like that in the movie but that could’ve just been me focusing on charlie day too much
