The room is dark - it’s still early, and there’s an unfamiliar weight slung across you waist, a stranger cuddled up behind you-
No. Not a stranger, you remind yourself, but your husband. Hawks - Keigo, as he keeps telling you to call him.
He stirs as you shove his arm off of you, pushing yourself up into a seated position and curling your arms around your knees. You’re covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your breath ragged as your heart pounds trying to catch up.
“Baby?” Keigo calls, his voice is heavy with sleep as he sits up and rubs his eyes, running a hand through his messy bedhead. “You okay? Another nightmare?”
You nod, wordlessly staring at the wall on the opposite side of the room as your eyes slowly adjust to the darkness. It’s been like this every night since the accident, nightmares that plague your sleep. It’s the middle of the night and you’re running - driving through the pouring rain and there’s something chasing you, a shadowy figure that keeps getting closer and closer until you’re sure that it’s going to snatch you up and devour you whole-
But then you wake up, gasping for air like you can’t breathe and trembling like a leaf.
The Doctor said it’s a side effect of the crash, that it’s your brain’s subconscious attempt to make sense of what happened. Disconcerting, maybe, but nothing to be worried about.
It’s not so much the dream itself that scares you, but the feelings it evokes - the terror that sinks its icy claws into you, the blind panic that slithers around your throat and squeezes until you’re choking on it.
You flinch as his hand comes down on your back, rubbing it soothingly as he scooches closer. “Hey, it’s just a dream. You’re okay, you’re safe here with me, you know that right?”
You nod, but it’s more out of habit than because you actually believe it. Hawks watches you with those golden eyes for a long moment before the corners of his lips twitch downwards into a frown and he sighs. Clearly, he’s not buying it. Gently, he lays his head against your shoulder, letting one of his wings wrap around your back and nudge you into his side.
“Talk to me, you know I can’t stand it when you shut me out,” he murmurs quietly.
A flash of guilt stabs at you. It’s not his fault that you can’t remember, that this whole thing feels alien and strange. He’s your husband, he loves you.
You take a deep, shaking breath and force yourself to relax against him. “I- the shadow, the one chasing me in the nightmares, it’s getting clearer every night. I think… I think I can almost see it.”
Hawks tenses, fingers curling around your chin so he can tilt your face to meet his gaze. “Baby, you know what the Doctor said. Don’t force it. The memories might come back and they might not, but the dreams - they’re just that. We’re working on leads, actual leads. The Villain who did this to you, baby, we’re gonna catch them, I promise.”
A small part of you deflates, but you just nod once again. Keigo’s right. Of course he’s right, but you just can’t help yourself. You feel so inadequate, so useless.
You know it’s not your fault, but still.
Waking up in that hospital bed, your body wrapped in bandages, sensors and needles scattered across your skin with no memory of how you’d come to be there had been terrifying. And Hawks - Keigo - had been by your side the whole time, his hand wrapped snugly around yours.
He’d tried to hide it, but the hurt, kicked puppy look in his eyes as you’d slowly pulled your hand back and innocently asked what the Pro Hero was doing in your hospital room wasn’t one that you’re going to be able to forget any time soon.
Physically, you were okay - a few broken bones and some stitches, but that wasn’t the real damage dealt. Two whole years of your life - gone. Including the entirety of your relationship with the crimson winged Pro. A whirlwind romance, he’d called it, a faint blush dusting his cheeks as he told the story of how the two of you met.
“We’re married?” you’d asked him shyly, staring at the pretty rock on your ring finger.
Hawks had smiled, probably the first real smile you’d seen since you’d woken up with half your memories missing. You had to admit, it was a good look for him. “Yeah. Six months now.” He’d given you a cavalier shrug, but his eyes were decidedly soft and affectionate when you glanced up, “When you know, you know I guess.”
You wouldn’t have blamed him if he left afterwards - none of this has been easy on him, especially with the threat of the unnamed Villain hanging over the both of you. Hawks is sure that the attack was an attempt to get at him, which is why he’s kept you at an isolated safe house a little ways out from the city. Nobody comes in or out, it’s just you and him.
But he’s assured you again and again, he’s not going to leave you anytime soon. On the bad days, the ones where you can’t seem to stop the frustrated tears that spill down your cheek, he’ll sweep you up into his arms and hold you until the sobs subside.
He loves you - so, so much, but somehow that only makes things worse, because you don’t know how you’re supposed to deal with everything that comes with that.
One step at a time, according to Keigo.
It’s easy for him to say, but even though he tries to hide it from you, you know that with every touch you give, Hawks is left wanting more. He wants his wife back, and you’re still fighting not to flinch when you feel his semi hard cock brush up against your ass when he comes up from behind to kiss you as you clean the dishes after dinner.
“I just,” you break off with a sigh, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to banish the nightmare from your thoughts. “I just want things to go back to normal.”
I want my memories back.
Hawks’ fingers stroke your arm and he hums thoughtfully, “No matter what happens, we’re gonna get through this together. I love you, m’not going anywhere.”
The words should bring some semblance of comfort, but there’s only a faint, lingering sense of unease that teases at your gut - maybe the bad dreams are affecting you more than you thought.
“C’mon baby, let's go back to sleep. We’ve still got a few more hours before I’ve gotta be up,” he whispers, placing a soft, feather light kiss against your neck.
But you shake your head absentmindedly. There’s no way on earth you can just fall back asleep now, not wired as you are.
Hawks pauses for a long moment before he shrugs and kisses you again, decidedly less chaste this time - and your heart leaps when his tongue suddenly darts out to lap at your skin. “No?” he asks quietly, pulling back so that you can see the hazy lust burning in those golden eyes of his as he smirks. “Well if sleep’s off the table, why don’t I try and find some other way to make my beautiful wife feel better?”
