#marimyana

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 9: 30DayLetterChallenge

Someone you wish you could meet

Dear Future,

I wish I already knew the comfort of your sleeping body next to mine.

I wish I could ask you to hold me when the whole world is ripping apart at the seams - because of me. 

I wish I knew your voice.  

I wish you were here. 

Marimyana

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 9 of 30: 30DayLetterChallenge

(Someone you wish you could meet)

Dear N,

I heard about you from my friend. Her boyfriend is in the army so he doesn't live at home and instead lives with a roommate. I guess that makes you a soldier too. A lone soldier.

I have heard so much about you. About where you came from, what you read, how many tattoos you have, that you’re probably one of the nicest guys out there. My friend told me your name, but I don’t know if I heard it correctly, so I just refer to you in my head as “N”. I don’t want to give away how much I like the idea of someone like you.

That’s the greatest thing about you being someone I don’t know. I can create you. I can mold you into what I want you to be, based on what my friend has told me. And in my head, everything works out: as I work on my MA, you become a highly regarded soldier in your platoon, meet me – by chance – and at the end of your enlistment, you leave with the highest recommendations and we go somewhere remote and far away where no one can reach us and we can just live and be free.

Right now, you’re probably the person I want to meet the most. I want to see how well I knew you through someone else, and more importantly, I want to see if my idea of you was close. Obviously, it won’t be spot on, but I’d like to imagine that someone like you exists and can become a part of my life.

Until I meet you, I’ll just keep imagining.

Love,

Marimyana 

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 8 of 30: 30DayLetterChallenge

(Favorite internet friend)

Dear all you wonderful people,

I am inspired by you all daily. I see you write about your pain or courage and I empathize and gain strength from both. I read your stories, see your art, hear your music, feel your emotions, and learn new things. I am intrigued and invigorated by you all.

Truth be told, I have only one person I met on the internet, and he was my best friend, my first love, and my first crash course in heartbreak. Since then, I have become the spokesperson, so to speak, for stranger danger. I rarely allow, let alone encourage, myself to venture into the cyber world in the hopes of friendship. Not out of fear or apprehension. “Just simply learning from experience,” I tell myself.

But here, on this wonderful blue world of Tumblr, I feel like I have friends in all of your posts. Whatever they are. I wish I could broadcast this letter to everyone here to show them what they mean to me. Even if I never comment or reblog. That is so much more communication than I am ready for. But for every person brave enough to be here, I thank you and I hope you continue to be you. Please continue to empower me and make me feel alive.

Sincerely,

Marimyana

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 7: 30DayLetterChallenge

Your Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Love/Crush

To the you I used to know.

I have written you so many letters.

I have written to you on scraps of paper and in my notebooks. My letters are in my paintings…some are in my pencil sketches. I write to you about our past and what I knew we could have been. I write letters to you about us constantly. I write letters to you in my mind that I can’t put on paper. In my dreams I have written you letters and songs.

You used to love when I would read what I wrote to you out loud. You would wait until even the moon was too tired to wait and ask me to read to you. Not the words of the famous poets but the words from my heart. You wanted to hear the words that would flow my soul that I wanted, needed, you to hear. Those were the words you waited for each night. It was invigorating for me to think of new ways to write to you, to speak my mind to you.

But one night you didn’t ask.

You were telling me what someone else wrote for you.

That was when I knew I lost you.

You never lost me. My words still flow for you.

Marimyana

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 6: 30DayLetterChallenge

Stranger

Dear Stranger, 

I wonder if you can hear what I'm thinking right now. Maybe you thought I would like your hair - it's definitely pink enough for me. And I do rather like the purple streaks.

Or maybe you caught my glance at your arms. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t judge or think any less of you - I have my own demons to deal with. Hey, maybe ours come from the same hometown. Probably not. I refuse to believe our pains are the same. It would be too surreal. 

I heard your music - surprised to hear the Irish drinking songs, I may have giggled. But not at your choice. It gave me memories. Happy ones that haven’t come to visit in a while. I was getting lonely and just about ready to forget about them for good. But then they came! 

But really, all I wanted to say is I like your smile. It was nice to see on a bus full of lonely, busy people on their way to the end of their lives. 

Thanks for that. 

Oh, and you’re beautiful. Let’s screw with the demons minds and have coffee and learn to be happy together. You can dye my hair and I'll teach you how to play the violin. 

Or, you can just get off at your stop and we'll never see each other again. 

Damn. All the things that could have been…

Marimyana

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 5: 30DayLetterChallenge

Dreams To my Dreams, To the dreams I have when I fall asleep, as short a time as it may seem. You've been there for me through thick and thin. You're there for me late at night and early morning. You're my one true companion. I know you'll be there comforting me after I've cried and screamed my broken little heart out. After the whole world scoffed and scorned, you were all there. You've brought my thoughts to life. Brought back people who I thought I'd never see again. Gave me hopes and futures. You've shown me my weaknesses and my strengths. I've seen old and new worlds. I've made wishes and had them come true. I've seen magic and promises. I've been in love without getting hurt. And I've been whole. But you are dreams. You always end too soon. Before I can grasp and forget who I am. The seams of dreams rip and I wake up. Alone. Marimyana

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 4: 30DayLetterChallenge

Your Sibling 

Dearest sister o’ mine. I remember the day you were born. How I picked your name. How I slipped and fell holding you. I remember you were afraid of golden retrievers and loved to wear hats. You used to fall asleep in the middle of anything – like a bowl of spaghetti. You used to sit and watch Sesame Street for hours on end. You taught me how to use Lego blocks as cereal snack boxes. I remember sharing a room with you. I remember reading you stories and falling asleep together. I remember playing with your hair. I remember my first sleep away at camp and buying my first real-hiking sleeping bag; only because you fell into the empty cardboard box. I remember you playing with your first camera, the teal camera case playing with the yellow tones in your blonde hair. Why can I remember everything about you, but I barely know you now? Marimyana

[writtenbystarlight]

Day 3 of 30: 30DayLetterChallenge

Parents Dear Mama,  Just, thank you. . 

Marimyana