Is this something else other autistic people relate to? I normally do not make eye contact but if I do, i space out. Like full on the person goes blurry because I'm spacing out that much to not really look at them.
Oh, definitely! The tricks and coping mechanisms autistics use to appear as if we’re making eye contact when we’re really not are very creative and diverse! I’ve definitely done this myself, along with the “look at the bridge of their nose” one, or glance at their eyes then look away, or stare at their mouth and say “I need help reading your lips”, all kinds of things I’ve done to avoid looking at eyes.
Looking right “through” somebody so your eyes are pointed at them but your brain isn’t processing the image, as you described, is also a really good one. Whatever it takes so that both the allistic is happy and you are able to remain stress free, go ahead and do!