#masrey lore drop

[underdarks-lost-ranger]

Stories of Scars

words: 1.6k

Summary: Masrey spends the night in Astarion's tent, and tells the stories behind some of his scars

The last few days had been…eventful. Most notably to Masrey, his relationship with Astarion had changed. They hadn’t talked about it yet, so Masrey wasn’t quite sure what to call it, but something was different. More…open. More intimate, even with the loss of one kind of intimacy.

Although, between everything that’s going on, what with trying to infiltrate Moonrise Towers and lift the Shadow Curse, Masrey felt like they hadn’t really had time to enjoy this next step.

So one night, after dinner when everyone had retired to their tents, Masrey found his way to Astarion’s tent. He knew the vampire would hear him approaching, so he tried to stay quiet mainly for the others’ sake. He pulled one of the tent flaps aside and peeked in, finding Astarion lounging on his bedroll with a book in hand.

“Hey,” Masrey whispered, smiling at Astarion.

Astarion looked up at him with a tentative smile of his own. “Hello, my sweet,”

“Do you mind if I join you?”

Astarion shook his head and moved over, leaving room on the bedroll for Masrey to sit next to him.

“What are you reading?” Masrey asked, peering at the cover. In a camp full of bookworms—himself among them—he’d made a habit of checking out whatever books they came across in their travels. Some of them seemed genuinely interesting, others seemed like they might have useful information hidden somewhere in their pages. Others still seemed completely irrelevant and uninteresting.

All this to say, they’d built up a decently sized library for a group of travelers picking up books whenever they can. Not extensive by any stretch of the imagination, but enough for them. But Masrey didn’t recall ever seeing this particular book.

“It’s one I…borrowed from the Emerald Grove.” Astarion responded, shifting the book so that Masrey could better see the cover. “Though I suppose they won’t be wanting it back.”

“I suppose not,” Masrey replied, voice low. He tried not to think about the Grove too often. It pained him to do so. “Any good?”

Astarion sighed. “It’s not the most interesting read, but it does in a pinch.”

Their conversation continued on as such for a while longer, close and quiet, shoulders and knees touching, hands occasionally brushing. Astarion was right. This was nice.

Eventually, Masrey wasn’t sure how long later, he found himself lying on his stomach, head pillowed on his arms, watching as Astarion lounged against some pillows next to him, reading peacefully.

Astarion glanced down at him, and Masrey could see a confused smile dance across his face. “What?”

Masrey shrugged as well as he could in his current position. “Nothing. Just…you,”

“What about me?” Astarion chuckled. Fishing for compliments, then.

“Your hair. Your eyes. Does it have to be something specific?”

“No, I guess it doesn’t,” Astarion said fondly, and went back to his book.

A couple minutes later, Masrey sat up on his knees. He could feel himself drifting off, and he wasn’t quite sure if his presence would be welcome all night. Astarion watched wordlessly as he sat up.

“Do you mind if I stay?” Masrey asked.

“Not at all,” Astarion replied.

Masrey nodded and moved to take of his shirt. When he looked back at Astarion, he could see the pure confusion on his face.

“I sleep more comfortably without a shirt,” Masrey explained, folding his shirt and setting it neatly off to the side. Sure, it could be a bit chill in the Shadow Cursed Lands, but no more so than the Underdark, so it never bothered Masrey.

Astarion hummed in understanding, and Masrey laid back down. It was a couple minutes more before Astarion’s gaze shifted back down to Masrey, as it had been doing for the past few minutes. Masrey heard the slightly sharper exhale, and he felt Astarion’s fingers ghosting over his back.

“I’d almost forgotten,” Astarion whispered. Masrey could feel more so than see that Astarion was remembering the handful of times he’d seen Masrey’s back. Their two nights together, that day in the goblin camp with Abdirak, after a couple battles, tending to wounds.

Masrey chuckled. “I do too, sometimes,”

“You never told me where you got them,” Astarion said slowly.

Masrey didn’t reply immediately. He was reliving all those punishments that turned his back into a battlefield of scars. He could feel the emotions flowing through the bond, and evidently, Astarion realized what that meant.

“I—I’m sorry, I overstepped. I shouldn’t have—” he raced to correct his error, but Masrey stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“It’s fine,” Masrey assured him. Astarion gave him a disbelieving look, and Masrey continued, “Besides, you indulged me when I asked about your scars. It’s only fair I do the same.”

“Masrey, you’ve put so much emphasis on what I want. It’s only fair I do the same,” Astarion parroted back at him. “If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to.”

“Astarion,” Masrey said firmly, squeezing Astarion’s forearm gently. “It’s fine, truly. I don’t mind.”

Astarion accepted this quietly, and watched as Masrey took a deep breath, trying to decide where to start.

“They were…punishments.” Masrey started softly. “Matron Vestyrr—my mother—did not take kindly to disobedience, and I was not a model citizen by any drow standard I’ve ever heard of,” he chuckled ruefully. “Her favoured tool was a cat whip. I spent a good chunk of my childhood on my knees while she—or one of my sisters, sometimes—flogged me.”

Astarion said nothing, fingers still lightly following the lines on Masrey’s back. “She was going to execute me, the night I escaped. Sacrifice me to the gods, most likely, to earn the favour I’d cost her.”

At this, Astarion stopped, and looked at Masrey’s face. “Why?” He asked, and Masrey could feel the barest tinges of disgust and anger through the bond.

“She’d discovered my plans to run away,” Masrey replied simply.

Astarion considered this, gaze returning to Masrey’s back. “What if she hadn’t?” He asked quietly. “Executed you?”

Masrey paused. He’d never really thought about it. Then he started, slowly, “I prefer this to death, and death to whatever the alternative would have been.”

“There were days where I thought the same thing, before,” Astarion replied softly. “These are all from your mother?”

“Most on my back, and some on my front, were courtesy of Matron Vestyrr.” Even two centuries after he left, he’d not shaken the ingrained habit of referring to his mother as Matron. Sometimes it angered him. Mostly it just annoyed him.

“Except for these three,” Astarion said more than asked, as he traced three scars, still freshly dark and a bit tender to the touch. Masrey didn’t have to try to clarify to know which ones he was talking about.

“Except for those three.” He confirmed. “Those were from Abdirak.”

“I remember. Why did you do that?” Astarion asked.

“I’m not sure.” Masrey replied. “I think there was a part of me that wanted to prove that I could still handle that kind of pain.” Masrey vividly remembered facing the wall in the goblin camp as Abdirak marked his back in a way that he hadn’t experienced in two centuries, exaggerating his performance because that’s what was wanted of him. The bond pulsed between the two of them, and Masrey knew this was the first time Astarion—really anyone else—knew why he acted the way he did. Not because he couldn’t handle it, but because he’d slipped back into that mindset of a young male drow, and only did as he was bid.

“Prove it to who?” Astarion questioned. Though, if the pulsing bond and his tone of voice were anything to go by, he already knew the answer.

Masrey shrugged. “To myself. To you all. I don’t know.” They were silent for a moment as they both processed the answer. Masrey just wanted to change the subject.

So he turned over, showing his torso. He pointed to a long scar running almost the length of his upper arm. “This one was from a patrol. We encountered a hook horror while we were out. This one—” he pointed to one across his left side, “—was a battle with an Orc.” Masrey held up his hand, palms facing away from them, a small smile on his face at the memories etched in his skin. “Most of the ones on my hands are from the smithy. Little mishaps and beginners’ mistakes.”

Astarion took Masrey’s hands in his own, running his thumbs along the backs of Masrey’s hands. He didn’t say a word, just looked.

“I’ve got some on my legs, mostly from fights. There’s one on my shin that I got when I put my weight on a dead tree limb and fell.” Masrey laughed at the memory. It was shortly after he’d left Whitepeak, when he hadn’t yet learned how to navigate the wild with the skill he does now.

“And this one,” Masrey said, touching the scar that ran from the bridge of his nose to roughly the midpoint of his cheek. “This one was from Matron Vestyrr. Another punishment.”

Astarion lifted his free hand to Masrey’s face, tracing part of the scar with the pad of his thumb. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered earnestly. “All of you.”

Masrey chuckled and turned his head, leaning into the touch. He wasn’t exactly self-conscious about his scars, but he didn’t like showing them off very much.

“We should get some rest,” Masrey replied, by way of deflection.

If Astarion noticed, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he laid down next to Masrey, and the two of them drifted off into their meditative state until morning.

[underdarks-lost-ranger]

I've been thinking about Masrey’s relationships recently, more specifically his two committed romantic relationships. Neither were particularly unhealthy (at least once they got going) but neither were completely healthy by a long shot.

His relationship with Matthias was a lot healthier and steady in that than with Astarion. But because Matthias was his only true friend before leaving the Underdark, and because the two of them were already in a romantic relationship when they left, Masrey never learned how to be a person without the context of someone else until Matthias died and he was forced to learn that and unlearn the codependency that had developed. During Masrey's childhood, he only existed in the context of his Matron, of his family, of his society. Then, when he made it to Whitepeak with Matthias, he existed in the context of him. For a good while after they moved, Masrey couldn't go anywhere without Matthias because everyone distrusted him so much. And even after the townspeople got to know him and accept him as a part of their lives that wasn’t going away and wasn't dangerous, when travelers would come through town and see him and ask the townspeople why they didn't kill him he's a drow he's dangerous, the answer was always that he was the blacksmith’s partner. It was never about who he was as a person, only who was around him. And so when Matthias died he for the first time truly had to figure out who he was on his own, without living in context of someone else, which is part of why he left Whitepeak for a while.

Mas' relationship with Astarion, however, took much longer to get to that steady, healthier point. I dont think it truly got there and stayed there until after Cazador. At the beginning, Masrey was using Astarion as much as Astarion was using Masrey. Most of the major features aside (hair colour, build, race, etc), Astarion looks pretty similar to Matthias (completely unintentional I swear). Enough so that when they first met, the similarity between Matthias and Astarion was one of the first things Masrey noticed. And then Masrey learned that Astarion, like himself, had escaped a generational cycle of abuse and violence. And that Astarion was where he himself was over 200 years ago at this point. And Masrey sees the opportunity to be for Astarion what Matthias was for him. Astarion becomes his pet project, a way to take his mind off of his mind. And it doesn't help that it makes him feel closer to Matthias, who is two centuries dead exactly the year BG3 takes place. Astarion definitely does not want that at the beginning, but he puts up with it because it--along with Astarion's own manipulation--ensures his safety and place at Masrey's side, and so they end up using each other and it really is a wonder they ended up together instead of one of them leaving after a big blow up fight between the two of them. And even after the feelings that neither of them wanted developed and they decided they wanted to use that as the foundation of their relationship instead of what had been there, they still take a while to iron out the wrinkles. There are a lot of fights--especially about Cazador and the ritual--leading up to the big fight. Lots of nights where they go to sleep angry at each other. And to some extent they're still using each other, just as mutual punching bags and ways to let off steam instead of what it had been before. I think if Astarion hadn't been part of the party, Masrey would have been a bit more unhinged and a bit more 'classic drow' under the stress of it all. He wanted to change for Matthias, and without Astarion to almost serve as a stand in, Masrey would have given in to his instincts more, and would by extension take much longer to get close to the rest of the party, as he would have to do more to make them trust him that much. It does eventually get better, though, after they deal with Cazador and then the Elder Brain. It goes a little lopsided again in the wake of all the attention afterwards but they manage to right themselves much quicker.

[underdarks-lost-ranger]

Masrey is not his given name.

He was born Magvyr Renalyn, first son of House Renalyn. When he finally decided to give Matthias something to call him, he gave his grandfather's name, Masrey. At the time, it was the last thing he could do to keep Matthias away from what Masrey thought of as his 'true self', and a small thing to make identifying him that much harder, since his grandfather was already long dead and there were no males named Masrey in his house at that time.

Later, when he decided he wanted to get out of the Underdark, the intention behind using that name changed. It was still a way to make identifying him harder, as his family didn't know he'd been using that name. It was also his way of rejecting his station as the first born son, since his grandfather was not.

And none of this ever came up naturally in conversation with Matthias, who didn't know that Masrey isn't his real name until they were on the way to Whitepeak almost 20 years into knowing each other. And that conversation was the same one where Masrey, with Matthias' eager blessing, took the last name Koval as another way to distance himself from the Underdark as much as possible.

[underdarks-lost-ranger]

Finally getting around to posting a more comprehensive backstory for Mas here! Under the cut

Born 21 Elaint (autumn equinox), or the 21st of The fading, 1216 DR, Year of Green Wings, Masrey was born Magvyr, first son of House Renalyn of Marimydra. He had three older sisters. Marimydra was not as violent as Menzoberranzen, but they were not much better.

Living so close to the surface, Masrey liked to run off and explore whenever he could get away with it. He found a small clearing, close enough to a road that he could watch the travelers going by, but far enough away that most didn't know it was there. One day, when he was around 6 years old, he met a human boy--Matthias--in his clearing. Terrified of actually interacting with a surface dweller, he lashed out when Matthias approached him, and ran off. He didn't return for quite a while, but when he did, he found Matthias there again, and a few meetings later, he started to stick around, and the two quickly became friends, although it took Masrey a while to give Matthias his name, and when he did, it was not Magvyr, but his grandfather's name.

From there, it takes a few more years before Masrey is fully comfortable with Matthias, although it unfortunately doesn't last long. The two start to develop feelings for one another, and Masrey doesn't know what to do with that, resorting back to lashing out, though not as violently as he used to. Around 16, Matthias is able to break through once more, and convince Masrey to sit down and talk to him. The conversation ends with them confessing their feelings for one another, and they start dating. From here, their meetings end up dwindling, as Matthias' parents both die, and he's left to run the smithy and take care of his two younger siblings. The two of them make plans to run away, leaving behind the Underdark and heading to a small village that doesn't appear on many maps outside the local region.

A few years after that, around 25, Masrey appears on Matthias' doorstep, urgently saying they needed to leave immediately. He reveals the following day that his mother, Matron Vestyrr, had discovered his plans to run away and his stash of gold, and was going to execute him that morning. Two weeks later, Masrey, Matthias, and his younger sister Marie arrive at Whitepeak, where Matthias opens a new smithy under the same name: Koval's Smithy.

Matthias dies in his mid 70s, and Masrey--grief stricken--leaves the smithy to their apprentice, and leaves Whitepeak, not to return for another hundred years. On his travels, he meets SIlleth Fylmirr, a sea elf, and captain of the Song of Creation at the time of their first meeting. They run into each other in port cities a handful of times after that, almost always spending the night together.

After a century, Masrey returns to Whitepeak, greeted with suspicion by everyone except the current owners of Koval's Smithy, descendants of the apprentice Masrey left it to. He resumes his position at the smithy, but still occasionally leaves to travel.

On his way back to Whitepeak after one of his trips, he is abducted by the illithids and begins the events of Baldur's Gate 3.