I don't know the extent to which having to count on your fingers is part of what makes you feel not good at math, but I think you can be very good at math and still count on your fingers. I add on my fingers and I have a PhD in a math-based discipline. Not trying to discount your self assessment at all just wanted to add the data point.
Aw, thank you! There are bigger issues for sure than being unable to remember small-sum addition -- I do genuinely struggle with a lot of math conceptually, it's not just the mechanics that bog me down. Pretty much everything that requires that part of the brain -- math, grammar, musical theory, coding -- I really am not equipped to comprehend or retain. But also like, I don't use much math in daily life, even working as a researcher who does quite a bit of quantitative analysis, and you don't need to know musical theory to play the ukulele, so it's not a big deal.
There are things in life I've been prevented from doing by my inability, but it's not like working harder would have fixed that, so at least I just gave up early and used that energy on other, more productive things. I doubt, for example, that I could ever "learn to code" -- it's simply not something within my ability -- but a lot of devs I've met can't write a coherent email, let alone a novel, so it all averages out in the end. And knowing my limitations has allowed me to focus on my skills -- those failing grades in high school are irrelevant now, but the prose skills I developed while failing math class are still useful to me. :D
